Random Rants LXIV: Who's Acting Like a Child Now?

[Arakhor]

Please, Azza, talk to someone about it. We can't help you here.

 

[azzaman333]

No, man, I'm sure you can get out of it.

I don't share your confidence, but it at least heartens me slightly that you think that, or are at least saying that you think that even if you don't.

Fear of success maybe?

Doubt it. I'd probably say it's more a failure of dealing with perceived failures, feeling like I need to punish myself for screwing up and the consequences that eventuate from that. I'm not sure if it's better or worse than the alternative where I used to fail to deal with perceived failures and just deciding screw it and giving up entirely. It's pretty much the difference between riding a rollercoaster of feeling good and feeling horrible versus feeling pretty eh pretty much all the time without much variation.

Please, Azza, talk to someone about it. We can't help you here.

I know I can't get help here. If I was in a headspace that would allow me to get the professional help I'm pretty sure I need I would've done so at least 6 months ago. Instead I make do with the little bit of relief I get from venting online. It's far from ideal but it's better than nothing.

 

[JohannaK]

I do believe it. I've met you, and even though it was only once, you didn't seem to be disfunctional enough to be unable to steer course. By which I mean, it's the one success at the end that counts, not the failures you go through, and I have no reason to believe that you cannot eventually succeed.

 

[Takhisis]

Success with a capital S is overrated, just as Failure with a capital F is. You're being afraid of ghosts rather than of real things.

 

[Joecoolyo]

I apologize for waiting so long before responding. I'm very bad about reading threads after I post in them, especially posts like these. I get nervous about reading the responses and that just leads to unnecessary worry.

I don't think you're a waste of space, Joe.

You're absolutely not a terrible person. I can't see how you could be. And you still have me as a friend

I just want to echo the sentiment in the posts above. We all like you, Joe. You're not a terrible person as far as we know.

Thank you for the kind words, they really do mean something.

Don't worry about getting too heavy for the threads. The internet is the perfect place for getting things off your chest. The people who listen, help you work through whatever's on your mind and the people who troll you or whatever, you can just write them off as internet jerks.

Also, don't worry about your mood swings, everyone can't be the same or feel the same. And even if its some kind of mental thing you get to decide how you want to handle it, there's nothing wrong with talking to your friends at CFC about things.

And FWIW I like you too Joe, even when I am making you mad.

Thank you. It heartens me to know that you (and everyone else) understands. What gets me is that I'm not sure my IRL friends understand. And I'm not sure if that lack of understanding is destroying something that I don't want destroyed.

Or maybe nothing is being destroyed and I'm destroying it in my head by myself. I really don't know. Either way bad things are happening from my perspective and I still haven't figured a path out of it. Because of that I feel like I'm coming off as a jerk and a terrible friend to my friends, as I don't know how to handle what I (or my mood) has started.

 

[Takhisis]

Have you even asked those RL friends of yours? You can always say ‘hey, I'm moving to another country and am freaked out, I hope I haven't been an a*hole to you’

 

[Phrossack]

Rant: From what little I know of the Emishi people, they seem fascinating. The problem is that there's practically no information on them and there probably never will be.

 

[Takhisis]

How good is your knowledge of Japanese, Phrossack?

 

[Tani Coyote]

Rant:

Getting into arguments with friends and they proceed to subtweet about you.

I'm just "are you that much of a coward/drama queen that you have to bring this up in public?"

 

[Phrossack]

How good is your knowledge of Japanese, Phrossack?

Well, I know "hai," and the names of various weapons and armor parts...

That's about it, though

 

[Kennigit]

I'm like a luddite sometimes, I swear

My computer is having some difficulties, and I'm directly blaming an update I just had to do. Some junky driver incompatibility or whatever is causing some crashes (I have to hope, but I think it's safe to strongly assume)

first world problems for sure, but I hate troubleshooting these things

 

[Tee Kay]

There's an unsightly wound on my face, unfortunately I also have a job interview.

*flails*

 

[Sommerswerd]

I don't approve of the new color scheme, and I know I can probably change it, but I don't feel like figuring out how and even if I did know I don't feel like changing it.

Also, I didn't approve of the last new color palette (turquoise) that has been replaced by this new, new (pink) one, but once I got used to it I was used to it and I didn't want it changed again.

I did like the original (for me at least) red color scheme, but that's ancient history...

 

[Takhisis]

What?

 

[Joecoolyo]

Have you even asked those RL friends of yours? You can always say ‘hey, I'm moving to another country and am freaked out, I hope I haven't been an a*hole to you’

One friend I messaged several weeks ago and never got back to me. One friend I've talked to, but not about this. I just acted normal with him. The other I've been worried about talking to, because I don't know how to bring it up.

I mean, they never come to me with their issues. How do I come to them with my issues? Is that not selfish?

 

[Commodore]

I don't approve of the new color scheme, and I know I can probably change it, but I don't feel like figuring out how and even if I did know I don't feel like changing it.

Also, I didn't approve of the last new color palette (turquoise) that has been replaced by this new, new (pink) one, but once I got used to it I was used to it and I didn't want it changed again.

I did like the original (for me at least) red color scheme, but that's ancient history...

I still have the red color scheme. It is glorious.

 

[Antilogic]

There's an unsightly wound on my face, unfortunately I also have a job interview.

*flails*

Know how you feel. I gave myself a second degree burn on my wrist two weeks ago while cooking salmon. I've been unable to lift and had a few awkward conversations at work.

 

[Commodore]

I don't know why, but people using the words 'Grexit' and 'Brexit' to describe either Greece or the UK leaving the EU really bothers me. It just seems so lazy to me. I mean, is it really soooo difficult to say "Greek exit" or "British exit"? Or is it that people think they are being so cool and trendy by throwing out stupid little combo words like that.

 

[JohannaK]

It's called a portmanteau. It consists of fusing words as well as their meanings. It's also shorter in syllable length.

 

[gay_Aleks]

that's rich coming from the nation that invented the XGate.