For someone who likes to play the "I'm offended by X" card, you do seem to encourage decidedly immoral behaviour.
Random Rants LXIX: Life is a Dismal Chore
- Thread starter Synobun
- Start date
-
- Tags
- random rants rants
- Status
For someone who likes to play the "I'm offended by X" card, you do seem to encourage decidedly immoral behaviour.
I used to live in a house. If I'd had a choice, I'd STILL live in that house. It had a large, semi-wild back yard, with a thriving ecosystem of fruit trees, squirrels, birds, and the house itself was where I lived for 34 years.
But life happened, and I had to move to an apartment.
Y'know what? I don't really care. I'm way past tired of your "people who don't have kids can't possibly understand _____" attitude.
I used to be a kid. Did my mother let me run around and shriek at the top of my lungs? Not on your life - and we lived on an acreage where our nearest neighbor was the equivalent of about three city blocks away. I was allowed to run around outside, sure... but not out of the boundaries that had been set.
After my mother moved into an apartment after the divorce, my cousin and I were part of a family visit (Thanksgiving, probably), and we wanted to let off steam. So we ran in the hallways, up and down the stairs, and caught a lot of hell from my mother. She said that was against the rules, making too much noise wasn't allowed in apartment buildings, and we were to go outside.
As for fighting back... simmer down, 'k?
I don't own an accordion right now, and my fingers no longer have the dexterity to play one even if I did (thanks, fibromyalgia). I am fully aware that making that kind of noise would probably result in an eviction. It's just a shame that the SOB who tried to force his way into my suite a few months ago is still here (would have been evicted weeks ago if the cop had investigated this properly), and that the people with kids don't give a damn if their precious darlings run around in the halls and scream at the top of their lungs. The last time a herd of kids did that, I finally did tell them not to. They haven't since, or at least not in this wing of the building.I haven't said anything to the across the hall neighbor yet, but will if this continues too much longer. For some reason the people with kids seem to think loud noise is acceptable, whether it's a "birthday party" that lasts until midnight (the kid was younger than 2 and it was the adults who still had the loud music going), kids running in the halls and yelling, kids shrieking outside my door at an hour when it's not unreasonable that a person might be asleep, and do I hear the parents say one word to them about quietening down, or telling them not to run in the hallway?
Nope, not one syllable.
So my anger is completely justifiable. I don't allow my cat to run around in the halls (even though she desperately wants to), I had her spayed years ago so she wouldn't caterwaul, and when she gets too loud in demanding things (food, or just wondering where I am; it's the feline equivalent of a toddler wanting to know "where's Mom?"), I shush her. I don't play loud music, nor do I have the TV on too loud. If/when I get another cat, that cat will also be spayed.
I'm glad you don't live here, too. I feel sorry for your neighbors, since you evidently seem to be like some of the neighbors I've had, and your precious princess can do no wrong.
Running around, screaming, getting in peoples' way by blocking the hallways (had to deal with that situation several neighbors ago when the neighbor kid's friends thought the hallway belonged to them and their oversized skateboards; for some reason the kid's dad seemed unable to deal with it, so I just told the kids to get out of the way when other people needed to use the hallway) is not innocent kid behavior. That's misbehavior, and any parent who doesn't take steps to correct that is not a good parent.
As for "conforming" to their lifestyles - WTH? Why should I? That suggests that I should have a kid of my own, because the "lifestyle" of this floor is to have children. FYI, there are at least two other suites in this wing where single adults live, and they don't have children. Maybe they should go get some, too?
There are rules here that prohibit excessive noise and running in the hallway. I've always tried to deal with people courteously, and reporting them is not normally my first action. But willfully obtuse parents who repeatedly allow their offspring to break the rules are not on my list of favorite people.
GoodSarmatian
Jokerfied Western Male
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2006
- Messages
- 9,408
I'm in total crisis mode.
My friends, my family, they all have troubles, and I can not really help them (some of the problems involve death and possiblby suicide).
And I myself am totally unequipped to help.
After years of suspicion, I finally got confirmation that I'm bipolar earlier this year. The depression isn't nearly as severe as it was a decade ago when I didn't recognize it and it could sneak up on me.
Now I'm better at identifying the signs. I regognize irrational bouts of of pessimism and short flashes of optimism as stupid hypomanie.
I thought I could manage it.
I see the signs, and being conscous them, I thought I could prepare.
I see he Black Walls on the horizon (Black Walls is what I call my depression, I think everyonehould have a nickname for their really nasty peculiarities) closing in again. There was a time where my friends could have helped me, but I rejected any kind of help. The Walls are huge and inpenetrable and anyone but me is on the other side. What I didn't realized back then was that I could ask my friends to throw me a rope.
And now ? My best friend has his own issues. He needs my help as much as I need his.
I have been slowly salvaging my life and putting things back together, but the stress of it was getting to me.
He's been troubled for for a few years, suffering for an unkown illnes deemed psychosomatic, and he recently found out that one of his ex girlfriends died.
We don't know from what, but suicide is one possibility and since he's been in constant communication with her until very recently, he's been going through a rabbit hole and arrived at the conclusion that it's his fault.
I want to be there for my friend.
Now is a very bad time. I'm barely keeping it together as it is. I know that "now is a bad time" is no excuse to not be there for your friend. I'm about to meet up with him.
I don't know if I have the strength to save both of us. Already, every day feels like I'm at the brink of a panic attack.
I've become a petty and resentful man, and I hate myself for it.
If I can't help him, I'll feel guilty for his inevitable descent.
If I can help him, I'll still be angry, for it will take a toll that I don't know I cab afford.
The last part might sound selfish, but I know myself. My willpower is limited, and any bit I exoend on others I could use for myself.
I'm about to meet him now. Hopefully ot will gove me strength.
My friends, my family, they all have troubles, and I can not really help them (some of the problems involve death and possiblby suicide).
And I myself am totally unequipped to help.
After years of suspicion, I finally got confirmation that I'm bipolar earlier this year. The depression isn't nearly as severe as it was a decade ago when I didn't recognize it and it could sneak up on me.
Now I'm better at identifying the signs. I regognize irrational bouts of of pessimism and short flashes of optimism as stupid hypomanie.
I thought I could manage it.
I see the signs, and being conscous them, I thought I could prepare.
I see he Black Walls on the horizon (Black Walls is what I call my depression, I think everyonehould have a nickname for their really nasty peculiarities) closing in again. There was a time where my friends could have helped me, but I rejected any kind of help. The Walls are huge and inpenetrable and anyone but me is on the other side. What I didn't realized back then was that I could ask my friends to throw me a rope.
And now ? My best friend has his own issues. He needs my help as much as I need his.
I have been slowly salvaging my life and putting things back together, but the stress of it was getting to me.
He's been troubled for for a few years, suffering for an unkown illnes deemed psychosomatic, and he recently found out that one of his ex girlfriends died.
We don't know from what, but suicide is one possibility and since he's been in constant communication with her until very recently, he's been going through a rabbit hole and arrived at the conclusion that it's his fault.
I want to be there for my friend.
Now is a very bad time. I'm barely keeping it together as it is. I know that "now is a bad time" is no excuse to not be there for your friend. I'm about to meet up with him.
I don't know if I have the strength to save both of us. Already, every day feels like I'm at the brink of a panic attack.
I've become a petty and resentful man, and I hate myself for it.
If I can't help him, I'll feel guilty for his inevitable descent.
If I can help him, I'll still be angry, for it will take a toll that I don't know I cab afford.
The last part might sound selfish, but I know myself. My willpower is limited, and any bit I exoend on others I could use for myself.
I'm about to meet him now. Hopefully ot will gove me strength.
Actually, she can. She's ‘a little terrorist’ when she insists on sleeping in Mom and Dad's bed.
You probably should be.
Two things...My across-the-hall neighbor's kid(s) - not sure how many she has - are driving me up the wall.
I HATE TODDLERS!!!
I just absolutely HATE them! There's something to be said for the way the Borg do it - maturation chambers, and when they emerge as young adults, they're both housebroken and know how to use their indoor voices.
Screaming, crying brats... I know this is one of the family floors so I have to put up with some noise, but kids running around the hallways (against the rules), incessantly screaming and their parents don't do anything to shut them up (or at least they're not successful with whatever they're trying)...
I might take up the accordion again. Since I never got to be very good at it, it should be a nice bit of noise to annoy the neighbors with.
One, in defense of the parents with bratty kids... raising kids involves a delicate balance between teaching them to obedient and teaching them to be inquisitive and independent. You can raise your kids like soldiers and they will behave like angels in public... but you risk crushing their ability to think outside the box and behave themselves independently of you... That is risky because at some point they have to leave your sight and if they can't control themselves outside of your watchful stern eye, then you've possibly got a bomb waiting to go off when you're not looking. Also, they will be more easily manipulated and controlled by authoritarian personality types. Its a difficult balance to strike and I have sympathy for parents trying to work through that. As a side note... almost without exception, when I take my family out to eat, at least one person will approach our table or come up to us as we are leaving and comment about how well behaved our children are. Its a compliment to be sure, but I find the practice somewhat odd and when I ask my colleagues if that ever happens to them they say no and say its a little weird... "They just come up to you right out of the blue to tell you your children are well behaved?" "Yep, every time we go out to eat. Literally every time." Now I have some speculation on why this happens to me specifically... (it used to happen to my family when I was a kid as well) but that's another subject entirely.
The Second thing I wanted to caution you about... When I was younger I lived in a bachelor pad with a roommate and we used to blast our music (mostly rap). Well one day the two college girls living below us decided to teach us a lesson (I know this was their reasoning because they later shared this with us once we got to know them months later). So to "retaliate" they blasted Bluegrass/country in their apartment... Specifically, Man of Constant Sorrow from the Movie "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"... Now unfortunately for them... My roommate and I, despite being two large black dudes, love Bluegrass, and specifically love Man of Constant Sorrow... as its a freaking awesome song. So, when we heard them blasting it... We started blasting it on repeat and left it on repeat for 3 days nonstop... as in all-day and all-night 24hours a day... for 3 days. They told us later that this incident taught them to just leave things alone... So the point is I hope that your accordion stunt doesn't backfire on you like theirs did.
This is highly dubious.
Children being loud is not anti-proportional to discipline. If anything it is proportional (for the very reason you mentioned among others).
Also: The very point of raising a child well is that their behavior is socially useful precisely when you are not around to check.
I just want them to not run in the hallway or scream in the hallway or outside my door. I'm not suggesting my neighbors raise them like they're in the army.
Interesting comment about authority figures, though. I was raised - programmed, really - to believe that anyone older than me was automatically right, and I had to obey them. Thing is, my family didn't explain that this meant adults, and not older kids. And when it finally did start to occur to me that older people weren't always right... the family fights started. That's why I've made the point here that I've "been there, done that" regarding being a doormat - and I won't do it anymore.
As for people complimenting you on your kids' behavior, just say "thank you." Whatever their reasons are for saying it, it's not going to help if you start wondering if the unsaid part of that is that they think black kids are natural brats, which is why they're so surprised that your kids know how to behave like civilized people. If they think that, it's a defect in their character and therefore it's their problem. From what you've said about your kids here and there in OT, it looks like you're doing the parenthood thing the right way.
For one thing, I already said I don't own an accordion. I just said it's what I should do, not what I will do.
For two things, I don't have any neighbors other than to the left and across the hall. The parkade is underneath my suite, I'm at the end of the wing so there's no apartment to the right, and the suite above me is vacant (it's one of the suites that had to be gutted due to mold, and is beside the one where I used to live - which is still vacant and being redone).
The guy to the left is so quiet, it's like he's not even there. It's the people across the hall that annoy me.
Akka
Moody old mage.
So basically you were complete dicks and the lesson is that we should let people be dicks because if not they become ever more dickish ?
@metatron:
Good rules of thumb:
Non parents/guardians cannot and do not know what it is like to have and raise kids.
Having been a kid only qualifies you to criticize your parents or guardians.
Little Fido and Fluffy, even if you dress them up and feed them with a spoon, do not qualify you to say you know what it is like to raise a child.
Being annoyed by others only demonstrates one's own weakness and not that of others.
How many have you lost posting here?
Who knows by now...
If we assume that it takes you one minute for each post made to read the preceding posts and compose a suitable answer, you have spent almost 19 weeks of your time to post here, assuming you spend eight hours a day, five days a week, to do so.
I disagree.
@metatron:
Good rules of thumb:
Non parents/guardians cannot and do not know what it is like to have and raise kids.
Having been a kid only qualifies you to criticize your parents or guardians.
Little Fido and Fluffy, even if you dress them up and feed them with a spoon, do not qualify you to say you know what it is like to raise a child.
Being annoyed by others only demonstrates one's own weakness and not that of others.
This throughly amoral claim is in fact exactly what parents claim all the time, particularly when faced with criticism coming from anyone less procreative than themselves.
So you are actually very much demonstrating my point.
Thanks.
And with the arrogant tone and the absurd strawmaning you have further emphasized my point.
Thanks.
Everyone has the right to be wrong.
There are areas where actual experience is what counts and intellect is hardly useful.
It may well be arrogant, but being arrogant doesn't make it wrong. In many things actual experience is key to understanding. It is a claim parent make because it is generally true.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked
