Kozmos
Jew Detective
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Random Rants XLVIII: Worst. Thread Title. Ever!
- Thread starter choxorn
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SouthernKing
crickety cricket
That looks like AND.
phoenix_sprite
King
In times like these, I really do think that life is unfair. This year has been a crap year for me. In the beginning of the year, my youngest sister had to have heart surgery with lifelong consequences. In late spring my mother got admitted to the hospital. At first I thought nothing of it but it got worse and then even worse when the doctors couldn't diagnose her. They tried a bunch of stuff but the strokes kept on happening. Yesterday, I went to the hospital to visit my mom in the palliative care unit and found that she had passed away. I was the first one to find her like this. I informed the nurse of what had happened, she very casually told me "Oh, she passed away". I feel very jaded about the care this hospital gave my mom.
I'm experiencing a broad spectrum of emotions right now, from sadness, to anger, to frustrations. I feel a sudden "protective" drive towards my sister, I want to shield her from all of this, I want to protect her. I can't help but to think of what would happen if something happened to her again like in December/January. I already miss my mom so much, it was so quick, it feels like a blink of the eye. I learned not to take the presence of family for granted.
Another thing, people are naturally giving me their condolences and sympathies, and keep saying to me "She's in a better place now.". I keep wanting to believe that she's in heaven or this "better place" but I can't get myself to believe in that stuff. She was in a better place when she was with us, alive and healthy. I've also noticed that I reply with "thanks for your thoughts" when they tell us they're praying for us and for her. I look onward and I'm overwhelmed with the stuff I have to do and pick up on things that my mom left behind (since I lived with her).
If there's one thing that does console me is the thought of all the love I had for her and the love she had for us. I guess I have to hang on to that love and persevere. Maman, je t'aime.
I'm experiencing a broad spectrum of emotions right now, from sadness, to anger, to frustrations. I feel a sudden "protective" drive towards my sister, I want to shield her from all of this, I want to protect her. I can't help but to think of what would happen if something happened to her again like in December/January. I already miss my mom so much, it was so quick, it feels like a blink of the eye. I learned not to take the presence of family for granted.
Another thing, people are naturally giving me their condolences and sympathies, and keep saying to me "She's in a better place now.". I keep wanting to believe that she's in heaven or this "better place" but I can't get myself to believe in that stuff. She was in a better place when she was with us, alive and healthy. I've also noticed that I reply with "thanks for your thoughts" when they tell us they're praying for us and for her. I look onward and I'm overwhelmed with the stuff I have to do and pick up on things that my mom left behind (since I lived with her).
If there's one thing that does console me is the thought of all the love I had for her and the love she had for us. I guess I have to hang on to that love and persevere. Maman, je t'aime.
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
Sorry to hear that. It's always hard to lose someone, but I can't imagine how it is to lose the mother, so unexpectedly... My condolences. 
Just think of all the good times and carry on.
Just think of all the good times and carry on.
PlutonianEmpire
King of the Plutonian Empire
My condolences.
ReindeerThistle
Zimmerwald Left
It is both hard to tell someone something meaningful when a loved one passes on. They always say a stet phrase or try to tell you their own story if loss to console you, make you see you are not alone.
However, no matter what, you have suffered a loss and no one us feeling the way you are. That's the truth.
DO find comfort in that love of which you speak. That love is real, and it is there. It is not something you can lose, not something anyone can take from you.
Please accept my deepest sympathies. I wish no one had to lose a loved one.
Borachio
Way past lunacy
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2012
- Messages
- 26,698
Yup. Life can be unfair, alright.
I'm sorry for your loss. There's really nothing else to say, I'm afraid.
LegionSteve
Motörhead
Legends of Revolution
MagisterCultuum
Great Sage
I'm not at all hungry yet, but mom insisted that I cook dinner early so my sister could eat in time for choir practice.
Shortly after I took a bowl out of the oven, I forgot how hot it was and tried to pick it up with my bare hands. I ended up burning the thumb, index, and middle fingers on both hands. (I typed this with my pinkies and ring fingers.)
Shortly after I took a bowl out of the oven, I forgot how hot it was and tried to pick it up with my bare hands. I ended up burning the thumb, index, and middle fingers on both hands. (I typed this with my pinkies and ring fingers.)
ReindeerThistle
Zimmerwald Left
SS-18 ICBM
Oscillator
I still can't present effectively in front of a group of people. My brain just starts turning to mush, and mistakes only act as a positive feedback loop.
Kozmos
Jew Detective
I met this beautiful, smart redhead girl today. She's from here but lives in Brussels because of family. I hate my life so much for throwing another woman I could theoretically have but not in this life. I'd rather devolve back to a spineless dweeb again so I could at least get some more work done.
madviking
north american scum
you gotta break the cycle
ReindeerThistle
Zimmerwald Left
Practice, practice, practice. If you can know your presentation inside and out, then you can retreat to your knowledge. Mustakes be damned....if you look like you know your stuff, then no one will notice.
Sent via mobile; apologies for any mistakes.
ReindeerThistle
Zimmerwald Left
Please accept a virtual hug -- and that another comes along...
Sent via mobile; apologies for any mistakes.
Peck of Arabia
Sociable Recluse
Isn't it strange; I have rather the opposite problem, I can talk to crowds, no problem, but put me into a one-on-one conversation and I'm often flummoxed with all but most closest friends- I've gotten better as I've learned "small talk" but I'd rather speak to an entire room, no matter the size, than one acquaintance, hands down.
SamSniped
DJ Goodboye
That feeling when you close a PM instead of sending it >.<
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