Roll To Dodge 4: Mall Madness!

[rhawn]

I take the sledge hammer.

 

[Milarqui]

Unfazed by the lamps (I'm a freakin' Monster Truck! No way some puny lamps are gonna stand in my way!), I drive through the front window of killfire's store, expecting to find a magical comic that will shrink me in size just enough to avoid hitting the lamps.

5: You manage to avoid all the lamps and crash into Supers, Powers & Us.
2: Unfortunately for you, with kill fire still on the shop, as the shop recognizes him as the owner, it decides to attack you through the use of specially sharped comics.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: Despite your size, you manage to avoid all the comics.
(4 TURNS WORTH OF GAS!)

I eat the food in the Spanish Food shop to regain HP.

4: You manage to find some Spanish omelet and feel as the delicious dish fills you up. (+3 HP).
The alarm is still on, and the shop continues to attack you. A second pan flies at you, but as it was used to fry the potatoes in the omelet, the pan is now full of hot olive oil.
2: You manage to avoid the pan this time, but the oil falls on you, burning you. (-5 HP)

I enter Cuddleplushies Central, hoping to find adorable stuffed animals that I can shove up my nose to stop the bleeding.

6: WOW! You enter Überplushies Central and you find it completely full of plushies, with a couple giant ones in there.
4: There is no sound around. However, you must be cautious, or else you might activate it.
-1 HP (you haven't been able to cut off the bleeding yet)

I try to find A Grizzly main battle tank:

3: You find nothing.
You are still in the middle of a shop that wants to kill you for breaking in. The giant-aspirin fragments fly at you, obviously hoping that you will either die or get out.
3: Several pieces of aspirin hit you hard on the head. (-5 HP)

Enter Mobsters Is We expecting it to be full of Tommy guns, pinstriped suits, and armored old-timey cars (everything needed to be the iconic 20's mobster, see?).

3: You enter We Is Not Mobsters and find it full of Victorian-era rifles, Victorian-era colonial suits and armored horse-led carriages without the horses. The most modern thing in there is a Ford Model T.
3: A man dressed in a suit similar to those in the shop appears from the back, picks one of the rifles and points it at you, bellowing "You miserable coward! Come back and face me like a man! "

I try to get outta the store ASAP.

3: You attempt to get out of the shop, but when you entered you closed the door and smash against it head first. (-3 HP). And the alarm is still on, so the scarves are still trying to kill you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4: The scarves have gotten free from the mannequin and jumped at you again. You manage to avoid most of them (and they break the glass for you), but a couple of the scarves manage to tie your legs down.
SPECIAL! JOINED LEGS! Any movement that requires you to run is reduced in 1 until you get free of the scarves!

I enter the Dollar Store and hope to find many helpful things, all very affordable.

5: You enter the Dollar Store and find many helpful things, all very affordable.
2: As you entered the shop, a silent alarm was activated. All the trolleys are thrown at you at high speeds.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6: Doing a backflip, not only you manage to avoid the trolleys, but you also manage to commandeer a couple of them to take you along the shop. The rest of the shop is still bent on attacking you, however.

I take the sledge hammer.

6: You manage to take the sledgehammer and the chainsaw as you get out of the shop. Chainsaw is slightly blunt, but it still works quite well.
ITEMS! Sledgehammer, Blunt Chainsaw!

 

[choxorn]

I get the hell out of the shop, picking up the pan on the way.

 

[rhawn]

I start the chainsaw.

 

[DarthNader]

I finish the game of Jumanji and send Van Pelt back into the game.

 

[kill fire]

I order my store to attack Winston Hughes, and for that matter, anyone else besides me that comes near the store.

 

[Catharsis]

I cautiously plug my nose with a stuffed hamster.

 

[Seon]

I get out of the shop ASAP.

 

[Winston Hughes]

I proceed to destroy killfire's store in a frenzy of automotive violence. If this should include running down killfire himself, all the better.

 

[civplayah]

I ride my trolley out of the store while screaming, "Come, my trolley children! Let us escape the ruthless tyrants!"

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I try to untie myself.

 

[Bratmon]

In. And weren't we going to make a rule against reserving rolls because of what happened last game?

I caused a new rule!
I join and go to Powergaming iz us. I expect it to be full of various overpowered items.

 

[Milarqui]

I get the hell out of the shop, picking up the pan on the way.

1: As you try to pick the pan, you trip on it and smash your head against the front windows. (-2 HP) You didn't break the windows, fortunately.
The shop is still attacking you. Now, it is two pans and one glass. One of the pans has an omelet in it.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4: You manage to avoid the pans, but the glass crashes against the second pan and breaks. One of the pieces cuts you. (-1 HP)

I start the chainsaw.

3: The motor starts, but you find that it has no petrol. You'll have to find some around.

I finish the game of Jumanji and send Van Pelt back into the game.

6: You throw your hands into the air. A pair of dice that had misteriously appeared in your hand fly out of it. As the ground breaks, one of the dice falls into the crack. The dice next to you falls on a 2, and the dice down in the crack falls on a 1, giving you enough to reach the center. You shout "JUMANJI!" and Van Pelt suddenly disappears. The things in the shop don't disappear, however.
SPECIAL! OWNER OF WE IS NOT MOBSTERS! As you defeated the security of the shop so well, it recognises you as the owner!

I order my store to attack Winston Hughes, and for that matter, anyone else besides me that comes near the store.

5: In response to your call, the comics throw themselves at Winston Hughes.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1: The comics puncture all your tires. Even the spare tire.
SPECIAL! PUNCTURED TIRES! -1 to all actions till you manage to repair your tires!

I cautiously plug my nose with a stuffed hamster.

5: You take a stuffed hamster and plug your nose with it. Your nose stops bleeding.
SPECIAL! Loses Nosebleed!
2: Your move activated the alarm! The smaller plushies throw themselves at you, trying to crush you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: You manage to jump at a side. One of the plushies gets attached to your leg, but the rest are quite away.
SPECIAL! PLUSHY ON YOUR LEFT LEG! Your left leg is now protected from blunt attacks!

I get out of the shop ASAP.

6: You get out really fast, bringing with you a few aspirin pieces.
ITEM! 3 Aspirins.

I proceed to destroy killfire's store in a frenzy of automotive violence. If this should include running down killfire himself, all the better.

3-1=2: You attempt to destroy killfire's store, but with your punctured tires, you can't control yourself well and smack against the nearest wall. (-1 HP)
(3 TURNS WORTH OF GAS!)

I ride my trolley out of the store while screaming, "Come, my trolley children! Let us escape the ruthless tyrants!"

4: The trolleys somehow understand you and get you away from the shop. Unfortunately, once you get out of the shop, they stop being alive and just go onward, direct into the fountain.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4: You jump out of the trolley you are riding and fall into the fountain. You didn't harm yourself, but are wet.
ITEMS! Trolley!
SPECIAL! WET! -1 to moves that require you to run, possibility of getting a cold in every turn!

I try to untie myself.

3: You fail to untie yourself.
And the scarves are still after you!
ROLL TO DODGE!
6: You roll on the floor and manage to avoid all the scarves. You even get one of the scarves to behave.
ITEM! Scarf!

I caused a new rule!
I join and go to Powergaming iz us. I expect it to be full of various overpowered items.

3: You enter Powers in Gaming, and find the shop to have many items like a Star Wars laser sword or Superman's cape. Unfortunately, these are just replicas, and don't have any powers.
4: Everything is silent. Too silent. Better be careful, or you might activate the alarm.

 

[Winston Hughes]

I place a quick call (using my built-in carphone) to Alan's All-Night Fuel and Tire Emporium (which just happens to be nextdoor to killfire's store), telling Alan to send round his best mechanics to restore me to full working order.

 

[Bratmon]

Quietly leave the shop.

 

[choxorn]

Screw the pan, I just want to get out of this crazy shop!

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I roll out of the store unharmed (hopefully).

 

[rhawn]

I hit civplayah in the face with my sledgehammer.

 

[civplayah]

I bring my trolley children to life.

 

[kill fire]

I smash up Winston Hughes.