Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Terrance888]

OOC: You mean to attempt to. KOs seem to be only available under 50 hp.

 

[Seon]

I om nom nom this world.

 

[Abaddon]

Yes you do.

 

[Double A]

My bat missiles gain Lifelink.

 

[Abaddon]

Go for the proper version!

 

[Double A]

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

My body is sucked into the ships engine causing something, you know, something catastrophic, with lots of death implied for everyone

10: The ship has no engines, if you recall.

Break his arms, just 'cause of how much other stuff he already has broken.

14 (15): You fully cripple him for 17 damage, worsening the blood loss by -5 hp/turn.

I go back to surgery.

16 (14): Try to remain still this time.

I draw my infinity blade from between Swink's legs through the nuts up to his head, and then twist.

1 (5): He steps on it. The recoil from the bent blade rips it from your hand and the pommel smacks your foot for 10 damage. He then claims the sword as his own.

I murder terrance with a butter knife.

9 (13): You slice him with the Infinity Sword instead, inflicting 16 damage.

I om nom nom this world.

14: You influence the corporate pigs in Washington to abuse environmental standards, eroding the planet while feeding your eeeeviiiil.

My bat missiles gain Lifelink.

7 (10): They are inanimate objects, and are thus unaffected.

 

[Red_Spy]

I relize I can use the force, and from the bed, I send a bonesaw flying at Terrance.

 

[Seon]

I om nom nom the infinity sword, removing the convenient plot device from play.

 

[Skwink]

I slice Terrance up.

 

[mythmonster2]

DECAPITATION!

allcapsyay

 

[Terrance888]

I catch the bonesaw and ran Skwink through.

 

[Double A]

My bat missiles become artifact creatures with Lifelink... and Deathtouch.

 

[Abaddon]

The Ship arrives at its destination.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I relize I can use the force, and from the bed, I send a bonesaw flying at Terrance.

5 (3): Even thinking too hard inflicts injury; -6 hitpoints' worth.

I om nom nom the infinity sword, removing the convenient plot device from play.

6: To do so requires a material existence, of which you no longer have.

I slice Terrance up.

15 (19): For 30 damage and another -4 hitpoints per turn.

DECAPITATION!allcapsyay

7 (8): You smack him upside the head for 6 damage.

I catch the bonesaw and ran Skwink through.

12: You have no saw to catch, but run into Skwink for 9 damage.

My bat missiles become artifact creatures with Lifelink... and Deathtouch.

16 (19): Well now this is just ridiculous.

The Ship arrives at its destination.

9: The ship has no engines, no forward momentum, and nobody looks like they're getting on this any time soon.

 

[Double A]

Ok, fine, Lifelink is enough I guess.

I shoot bat missiles at the space ship.

 

[Skwink]

I keep killing Terrance.

 

[mythmonster2]

Slap him again, why not?

 

[Red_Spy]

I try to use the force, by putting in a thought to go stab himself into Terrance's mind.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I umm... do something productive!