Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[mythmonster2]

Oppose Terrance's bid for king of the lions, for he is guided by Technology and not Nature.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I continue my quest to become president

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I buy myself some nice body armour.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I call the USSR to see if they want to help the rebels.

15: "Soviet Union? I thought you guys broke up."
"Nyet! That's what we WANTED you to think! HA ha ha ha ha ha!"
So, um... Russia's backing you up.

I find a .50 cal Desert Eagle in the savanna because I'm a badass.

14 (15): It's dirty and only has a single magazine, but it's somewhat functional.

I pray to the gods again, because that's the last good thing that happened.

14: Sigh. They remove your splinter and tidy you up.

I attempt to find something worthy of my time.

12: Oooh, safari!

I tip my hat and say, "First-time user error. You know how it is." I ask for a owner's manual for my bionic limbs.

1: One of the lieutenants realizes he doesn't recognize you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
8 (10): ...And as Red_Spy returns, your escape is cut off.

The helpful maintenance woman leads Attlee and me to the library's observatory, where I crazily apply my Engineering expertise and some of my newfound supplies to reconfigure the observatory into an inter-stellar communications network.

5 (7): You're bright, but not magic.

I become the king of the Lions with my technology/

19: You take it upon yourself to unite the squabbling prides into a CIVILIZATION. In fact, it is your Destiny.

Oppose Terrance's bid for king of the lions, for he is guided by Technology and not Nature.

10 (12): It also kinda hurts that he doesn't know any lions.

I continue my quest to become president

17: You double as undersecretary to the party leader, increasing your salary by $3.

I take up a second job as a fitness instructor (endurance trainer!)

17 (18): You gain a salary of $14/turn.

I buy myself some nice body armour.

6: Nice? That's especially expensive.

 

[Red_Spy]

I bring CivCube to the Rebel Leader.

 

[landlubber]

I ask the gods what to do next.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Attlee "attacks" the books with his paws and reads up on modern medical philosophies.

 

[mythmonster2]

Learn how to speak lion.

 

[Verarde]

I see what's going on with the safari.

 

[CivCube]

"Red_Spy! My cousin! I've been waiting thirty years for this reunion! When I heard you were at this base, I had to see it was true. AND IT IS!!! Oh happy day."

 

[hendo]

I perform some maintenance on my gun, hoping to increase the damage/accuracy of the weapon.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I buy myself some strong (but cheap!) body armour.

 

[juKar-C]

I attempt to sign up for this hoping for a bonus

 

[Terrance888]

I use the power of technology to become a Hyperintelligent Lionman!

 

[Skwink]

Sam and I attempt to ally ourselves with the Drug Cartels.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I bring CivCube to the Rebel Leader.

11: You turn him around.

I ask the gods what to do next.

1: Some Southern US Baptists spot you and "attempt" to "convert" you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (20): You make short work of the evangelicals, and take their combined cash of $226, since they no longer have a use for it. And, um, the violence restores your health.

Attlee "attacks" the books with his paws and reads up on modern medical philosophies.

11 (13): He grounds himself in general practice.

Learn how to speak lion.

16 (18): You gain a +2 bonus to communicating with the prides.

I see what's going on with the safari.

20 (18): Something happened to the guide, so you take charge, collecting a hefty $72 in tips.

"Red_Spy! My cousin! I've been waiting thirty years for this reunion! When I heard you were at this base, I had to see it was true. AND IT IS!!! Oh happy day."

8: They're not going for it.

I perform some maintenance on my gun, hoping to increase the damage/accuracy of the weapon.

16 (18): You perform a complete overhaul. It should be much more deadly now.

I buy myself some strong (but cheap!) body armour.

16: You spend $220 on a vest that improves your defensive rolls by 2.

I attempt to sign up for this hoping for a bonus

16: You start with a jeep.

With my excellent endurance I practice and practice until I gain skills in Magic.

6 (8): Endurance doesn't seem to be an important quality in that field.

I use the power of technology to become a Hyperintelligent Lionman!

8: CURSES!! You have no technology to empower yourself!

Sam and I attempt to ally ourselves with the Drug Cartels.

4: You pay them $4000 to temporarily take a break from attacking you.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

You're bright, but not magic.

I read up on social theories surrounding magic tricks.

 

[Red_Spy]

I ask the Rebel Leader for a promotion.

 

[landlubber]

I use the money to impress nearby hyenas.

 

[CivCube]

I throw a guy at the conspicuously-placed power core.