Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Skwink]

I attempt to shoot my head.

 

[mythmonster2]

I ingratiate myself with a nearby pride.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I get myself a riot shield.

 

[hendo]

I drift into a meditative state as I contemplate what to do next.

 

[Terrance888]

I learn the local language of the Lions while sweet-talking my way into a pride.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I read up on social theories surrounding magic tricks.

9 (11): You learn some trivia.

I ask the Rebel Leader for a promotion.

18: RANK UP! Master Sergeant Shooter Person!
You now earn $8/turn.

I run around extensively (using my endurance) looking for the classic lucky clover.

6 (8): Looks like hendo took it.

I use the money to impress nearby hyenas.

10 (11): Well, some of the girls look your way.

I throw a guy at the conspicuously-placed power core.

10 (12): There's a loud bang and the rebel's clothes disintegrate. Oh, it's on now.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (11): You just avoid the rain of bullets.

I attempt to shoot my head.

17: You expertly deliver a single bullet, dealing 20 damage and leading to massive hemorrhaging at a rate of -14 hp/turn.

I ingratiate myself with a nearby pride.

20: You're appointed honorary leader.

I get myself a riot shield.

11: You spend $400 on a polyurethane shield that boosts your defensive rolls by 1.

I drift into a meditative state as I contemplate what to do next.

4 (5): You're accosted by a group of thugs.
ROLL TO DODGE!
16: You scare them off with your gun.

I learn the local language of the Lions while sweet-talking my way into a pride.

19: And so shall begin your Federation.

hoplitejoe, Darth Caesar, CivGeneral and Boundless suffer 15 damage for inactivity.

 

[Skwink]

I use my injury to scare the weak stomached cartels.

 

[Red_Spy]

I go to the Doctor.

 

[CivCube]

I bash through the nearest door!

 

[Verarde]

I attempt to find out what happened to the guide.

 

[mythmonster2]

Lead my pride against Terrance's.

 

[Terrance888]

I declare mythmonster2 Lionus non grata while calling for aid against this obvious aggresion.

My pride will defend themselves, and me as well since I am part of the pride.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I apply my magical knowledge to engineer my own magic wand from a metal rod, two popsicle sticks (for the bands at the ends of the wand), and a bit of my duct tape.

 

[landlubber]

"Hey, ladies. Can I come party with you and your crew?"

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I follow Mythmonster to see the outcome of the battle between his pride and Terrance's.

 

[hendo]

I practice my marksmanship in the shooting range found under the library.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I use my injury to scare the weak stomached cartels.

9: Damn, your weakness boosts their confidence.

I go to the Doctor.

3: You find the Master instead.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: You're dealt 15 damage through some nefarious scheme.

I bash through the nearest door!

2 (4): You burst into one of the barracks.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (8): You're assaulted for 8 damage.

I attempt to find out what happened to the guide.

5: A shot rings out.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1: A rifle bullet embeds itself in your chest for 11 damage and ongoing -6 hp.

Lead my pride against Terrance's.

19 (20): They go at each other, taking two of Terrance's lions down.

I declare mythmonster2 Lionus non grata while calling for aid against this obvious aggresion.

15: You are reinforced by a five-lion pride.

I apply my magical knowledge to engineer my own magic wand from a metal rod, two popsicle sticks (for the bands at the ends of the wand), and a bit of my duct tape.

6 (5): And then you run an electric current through it, shocking yourself out of 7 hitpoints.

"Hey, ladies. Can I come party with you and your crew?"

17 (18): You, your travelling companion and the clan pile into a conspicuously-placed Land Rover and go for a joy ride, rocking out to Austrian pop.


Link to video.

The whole experience boosts everyone's morale by 2.

I follow Mythmonster to see the outcome of the battle between his pride and Terrance's.

19: OH MY GOD THIS IS AWESOME!! You gain a +2 morale bonus just for watching it.

I practice my marksmanship in the shooting range found under the library.

17 (18): You gain a +2 bonus to firearm rolls.

I lead another highly successful safari, specialising in watching the highly odd actions the animals are currently undertaking.

2: The bus is attacked!
ROLL TO DODGE!
12: You speed everyone the hell outta there.

 

[Red_Spy]

I go the the rebel doctor.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Skilled with his learned medical knowledge, Attlee deftly attacks both my wand and my wounds, restoring both the wand and me to full working order.

 

[Terrance888]

I skillfully ambush Mythmonster2 with my pride, striking at his sunburned skin.