Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Skwink]

I try to talk things out with Verarde.

 

[Abaddon]

Owning a DVD of a bomb like Waterworld is not illegal, release me!

 

[hendo]

I check my gun is full loaded, take aim, and give Verarde's face a .50 cal makeover.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I study and try to enhance my melee skills.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I prepare a goodwill basket to send to those in need in Mexico.

4 (2): You, uh, somehow order an airstrike on Mexico City.
ROLL TO DODGE!
11 (8): Skwink is hit by flying debris for 4 damage.

We go to Khrushchev Land!

16 (17): It's an irresistible testament to the power of the international workers' cause! *Note the superiority of the Socialist system, evident by the imponderable level of joy found on the faces of the fair-goers, and how it restores hoplitejoe to full health and grants a permanent morale boost.

(Since the Master appears to still be in the library with the lions and me) I use my empathic abilities (the Master is an alien, after all) and persuasive logical arguments (academia-based) to get the Master to explain to me advanced engineering techniques (which I understand better than an average person thanks to my engineering ability), which would allow me to do things like repair a broken teleporter and turn a TARDIS fascimile into a working TARDIS with nothing more than the equipment that I already have in my inventory.

4 (8): Tragically, the equipment he is familiar with requires materials not available on this planet.

We continue to attack the rebel scum.

20: You make it through the minefield and force the rebels into a fighting retreat.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (7): hendo suffers 12 damage.

I create a local voodoo "union" with the aim of setting appropriate prices for "magic" in the region. Namely, prices that are lower than nearby militias, I mean, communities. The more "practitioners" that are protected with stable prices and juicy subsidies, the more mighty the union.

3: The "militias" don't take kindly to your "marketing".
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (11): You duck and dodge the drive-by shooters.

I look for arms to stock my hyenas with.

18 (20): You fill a trailer with cutting-edge infantry equipment, then hitch it to the tank.

I try to talk things out with Verarde.

6 (3): OH TEH NOES you're on a separate continent!

Owning a DVD of a bomb like Waterworld is not illegal, release me!

3 (3): Perhaps, but Bio-Dome? Well, your odds just became a lot less favourable.

I check my gun is full loaded, take aim, and give Verarde's face a .50 cal makeover.

14 (17): You discharge the last two bullets for 21 damage and a -6 hp/turn open wound, then load a fresh clip.

I study and try to enhance my melee skills.

5: Most of what you read requires more agility than your armour can offer.

 

[GenMarshall]

I find some gold nuggets in the soil.

 

[Red_Spy]

I cry about how much I am a failure.

 

[landlubber]

I send a few underlings out to scout for locations to build our secret headquarters.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I use my academia-based brain to come up with the following ingenious philosophy for fixing alien technology: "kick it into submission," a philosophy which, along with my engineering know-how for knowing exactly WHERE to kick it, I employ to bring the two-way teleporter into working order.

 

[Verarde]

I have my men focus their fire on hendo.

 

[CivCube]

I consult my village's tech tree for our options.

 

[Skwink]

I try to find a home that will give me food and rest.

 

[Abaddon]

Ding! *Welcome to Dubai Mr Abaddon* Oh what a horrible dream as I wake up in first class en-route to Dubai

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Alright then, I try to enhance my agility while wearing armour.

 

[hendo]

With my freshly loaded clip, I unload into Verarde again, this time targeting his existing injuries in the hope to increase the rate of damage per turn he suffers.

 

[hoplitejoe]

Me and the rhinos again attempt to make a village, this time under the guidance of socialism!

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

No really, this is getting ridiculous, even for me.

I find some gold nuggets in the soil.

6: OK, now you're just desperate.

I cry about how much I am a failure.

17 (15): You bombed Mexico, deserted your cause, totally sidestepped a possible adventure involving a landship... You sink a point further into despair.

I send a few underlings out to scout for locations to build our secret headquarters.

5: Uh-oh, goons are gathering in the hills.

I use my academia-based brain to come up with the following ingenious philosophy for fixing alien technology: "kick it into submission," a philosophy which, along with my engineering know-how for knowing exactly WHERE to kick it, I employ to bring the two-way teleporter into working order.

20 (20): And it wasn't even two-way before!

I have my men focus their fire on hendo.

7 (6): He's doing an awful good job of dodging. Meanwhile, the rebels concentrate fire on you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
11: Denied.

I consult my village's tech tree for our options.

5: Bother! Without a library, your science production is at a standstill.

I try to find a home that will give me food and rest.

13 (10): You stagger into an abandoned apartment.

Ding! *Welcome to Dubai Mr Abaddon* Oh what a horrible dream as I wake up in first class en-route to Dubai

2 (3): You wake up to a ding as someone says "Welcome to Dubai Mr Abaddon". Then the guards drop the painted sideboards revealing your prison cell. FFFFFFUUUUUUU-

Alright then, I try to enhance my agility while wearing armour.

3: You pull something for 10 damage, causing your natural defence to drop a couple of points.

With my freshly loaded clip, I unload into Verarde again, this time targeting his existing injuries in the hope to increase the rate of damage per turn he suffers.

12 (15): You fire two shots for 15 damage, worsening his wounds by an additional -2 hp/turn.

Me and the rhinos again attempt to make a village, this time under the guidance of socialism!

19 (20): A flawless victory for the global well-being, comrade! You attract rhinos from far and wide to the cause.

Darth Caesar and juKar-C suffer 15 damage for inactivity.

 

[Skwink]

I fall asleep in the apartment building.

 

[hoplitejoe]

We free the near by rhinos of there capitalist overlords!

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Heading through the teleporter to the fight between the rebels and the government brigade, Attlee leads the lions in a charge on Verarde and the government brigade! (I come along for the lulz while the Master stays at the library, presumably to guard the teleporter so that only our allies can use it.)