Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Terrance888]

I infect some of the soldiers with the mysterious goop that turned me into an Alien, so that they become my thralls and join me in defeating the American force.

 

[SouthernKing]

I invade Namibia - it will be the first country to fall under righteous Snek rule

 

[GenMarshall]

In supporting Terrance888, I find a secluded area to hide to sneak attack with my AK-47 at any other soldier that were left untouched by the goo.

 

[Ailedhoo]

Continue looking; if in grassland there must be farm. Are sheep and horses farmed in these grassland? If I could find a herder I could get some humble supplies from them and directions.

 

[CivCube]

I accept their offer--a CubeCannon! I adjust the parameters so that two random targets swap locations.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I pop into a local restaurant to look for Horace

 

[SamSniped]

I roll some dice.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I take charge of some of my otherwise-idle hospital colleagues, directing them to use some of the hospital's medical supplies and some of my duct tape (every good engineering project uses duct tape) on a task to keep their minds and hands occupied, by engineering a portable medical station that we set up in the space created by the lions.

 

[gay_Aleks]

OK. Time to go to Mozambique and catch a ship to California!

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I stratch my head in confusion and politely ask the GM whether I lost the people who were chasing me or not.

9: Short answer, yes. Long answer, you're back in the crossfire.
ROLL TO DODGE!
8: The swarm of bullets nicks you for 4 damage.

With Christos dead, I proclaim the Feminist Union of Communist Internationalist Nambia (FUCIN)

17 (19): With the death of its totalitarian leader, the monolithic state apparatus crumbles and the All People's Party assumes control. You are named President, with a salary of $96/turn.

I infect some of the soldiers with the mysterious goop that turned me into an Alien, so that they become my thralls and join me in defeating the American force.

2: It wasn't actually goop but the medallion that changed you. You only realize this as it sails from your hand and is picked up by the squad leader who quickly dons it and rallies the troops for a fresh assault on your now-human hide.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1: You quickly regret making yourself the tank as every weapon zeroes in on you for 37 damage; your crippling injuries are bleeding for another 9 damage per turn, while the agonizing pain of multitudinous internal wounds lowers your defence by 3 points.

I invade Namibia - it will be the first country to fall under righteous Snek rule

13: In all the confusion of the transitional period, you manage to infiltrate a border province and annex a family farm.

In supporting Terrance888, I find a secluded area to hide to sneak attack with my AK-47 at any other soldier that were left untouched by the goo.

18 (17): With the squad focusing on Terrance, you fire off a well-placed eight shots that sends the soldiers into a panic, wounding the captain for 9 damage and shattering their attention as they manoeuvre to protect their rear flank.

Continue looking; if in grassland there must be farm. Are sheep and horses farmed in these grassland? If I could find a herder I could get some humble supplies from them and directions.

11 (12): You stumble upon a watering hole where a woman is filling a jug.

I accept their offer--a CubeCannon! I adjust the parameters so that two random targets swap locations.

15 (16): Expending the requisite materials, the scientists re-rig the satellite as ordered, making sure to specify not to zap you by accident.

I pop into a local restaurant to look for Horace

6 (7): Sparsely-attended as it is, you don't see Horace inside.

I roll some dice.

5: You roll a 5, 7, 9, and 3 that will randomly override your rolls within the next ten actions.

I take charge of some of my otherwise-idle hospital colleagues, directing them to use some of the hospital's medical supplies and some of my duct tape (every good engineering project uses duct tape) on a task to keep their minds and hands occupied, by engineering a portable medical station that we set up in the space created by the lions.

17: They set up an ersatz bacta tank outside that will heal people close by +10 hitpoints per turn.

OK. Time to go to Mozambique and catch a ship to California!

20: You catch the first liner out of port.

The lions press their attack.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (8): Try as they might, they can't break the remoralized line.

Kinich-Ahau is declared AWOL.
CubeCannon swaps Red_Spy and the Lesser Hentaibeast!

 

[Omega124]

The very first thing I do as president is troll the UN, declaring that we will bury the world in world revolution

 

[CivCube]

Fist pumping all around! I send a survey out into the city to find out more about the big issues.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I ask the waitress if she has any idea of Horace's location

 

[NinjaCow64]

Because I was the original creator of the device that became the CubeCannon, I use my technical expertise to ensure that I am targeted by it this turn, which will allow me to escape this awful dimension.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

As an alien empath and a friend indeed, I use my holistic approach to medicine on the Army Captain's psychological well-being.

 

[Ailedhoo]

Ask the woman for directions to the nearest settlement; be it village, farm, gas station, pub, military outpost or monastery.

 

[SouthernKing]

I expand my influence through Namibia

 

[Terrance888]

I focus on getting to safety and healing while staying in one piece.

 

[Terrance888]

Just in time, reinforcements from my cartel comes and rescues us by taking me to safety and blasting away anyone too eager to die.

 

[gay_Aleks]

Enjoy the trip. Have a drink at the liner. Don't do anything to interrupt our GLORIOUS MISSION