Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[JohannaK]

I heal completely by funneling the infinite creating power of the Matrix Void of the Universe. Musical performance modifiers apply because I need to be attuned to the Universe and this is achieved through playing music.

 

[Omega124]

I tap my heels three times and say there's no place like home D:

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

The time has gone: charge at George and eat the idiot's neck off!

2 (5): You charge at him head-long; unfortunately he's expecting this and trips you as he feints, sending you skidding across the ground for 7 damage.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (8): George literally kicks your butt for a humiliating 3 damage.

I heal completely by funneling the infinite creating power of the Matrix Void of the Universe. Musical performance modifiers apply because I need to be attuned to the Universe and this is achieved through playing music.

14 (17): Bringing yourself into cosmic tune, you boost your body's natural regeneration rate, sealing the wound and gaining +4 hp/turn alongside an immediate 40 hitpoints.

I tap my heels three times and say there's no place like home D:

10: You're already in Albany.
ROLL TO DODGE!
17 (19): Swinging your sword like a freaking lightsaber, you deflect the incoming bullets back at your assailants, sending them scurrying away and forcing Trump to abort the parade, granting you respite... for now.

The Monarchists try to finish off Mongolia.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6: "WHY THE — CAN'T MY —ING — OFFICERS DO ANYTHING —ING RIGHT?!?!" screams the King as Ulaanbataar effortleslly rebuffs the assault, earning itself +1 defence.

CivGeneral is declared AWOL.
CivGeneral couldn't keep up.
CubeCannon swaps JohannaK and the Rebellious Prisoners!

 

[Omega124]

Right. I get on the phone and tell blackwater to air drop some forces into Ulaanbaatar to help Mongolia

 

[JohannaK]

I remotely fire SOL 740 over King George's base.

 

[Ailedhoo]

In a rage I swing my crowbar, aiming at at George's groin.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Right. I get on the phone and tell blackwater to air drop some forces into Ulaanbaatar to help Mongolia

15: Tacking another $15 onto the contract, they deploy to the capital, boosting Mongolia's defence by 2 points.

I remotely fire SOL 740 over King George's base.

19: "Direct hit on the enemy, sir!" With the main command base fried, the officer corps scrambles to reorganize; the EKNC won't be able to attack for six turns! Ailedhoo and President George are caught in the blast radius.
ROLL TO DODGE!
12 (10): Ailedhoo, being the C&Caboo/pyromaniac that he is, mistakes the quasi-Ion Cannon beam for divine providence and lets himself get scorched for 8 damage.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (7): George struggles to put out the flames erupting across his suit, suffering 17 damage in the process.

In a rage I swing my crowbar, aiming at at George's groin.

9 (11): You graze his thigh for 4 damage. George struggles to bring a second gun to bear.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18 (17): Exploiting his divided attention, you headbutt him as he tries to reload the Kalashnikov, inflicting 13 damage and a light concussion that will impede his rolls for the next four turns. You take the gun and ammo for yourself.

CubeCannon swaps Chinese Commandos and the Master!

 

[JohannaK]

I launch the Kuat-Stardust Orbital Shipyard in order to start construction on the Ultimate Spaceship.

 

[Ailedhoo]

Jump backwards and reload the gun; if possible shoot at George.

 

[Omega124]

I now give a counter parade against trump

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I launch the Kuat-Stardust Orbital Shipyard in order to start construction on the Ultimate Spaceship.

2: Investing $800 from your own pocket, you watch (via videofeed) as the entire shipyard complex blasts off into the... wait is that—INCOMING MISSILE ABORT ABORT—THEY SHOT OUT THE BOOSTER!! OH MY GOD IT BLEW UP OVER EUROPE!! OH THE HUMANITY!! AND ALL THE COUNTRIES!!

(Britain, Ireland, France, Andorra, Spain, Monaco Italy, Vatican City, San Marino, Switzerland, Germany, Luxembourg, Liechtenstein, Belgium, Netherlands, Denmark, Sweden, Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia, Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova, Romania, Hungary, Bulgaria, Greece, Macedonia, Albania, Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Poland, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Austria, and Slovenia lose 3 defence.)

Jump backwards and reload the gun; if possible shoot at George.

18 (16): Somewhere in your jumbled list of priorities you manage to a) throw some distance betwixt, b) reload the rifle, and c) shoot it in his direction for 15 damage.
UH-OH, with the fight turning against him, George activates the Executive Power, "Pass the Buck"!
ROLL TO DODGE!
3 (4): Before you can stop him, George tags his co-conspirator Chiang to take his place while he tends to his wounds.
You are now facing General Chiang, Patron Saint of Armageddon!
ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!
13 (12): You recover from your surprise fast enough to get the first shot in.
ROLL TO AGGRESS!
11 (11): You scuff his uniform for 7 damage. Chiang brings his own rifle to bear.
ROLL TO DODGE!
12 (11): You narrowly avoid the burst.

I now give a counter parade against trump

18 (20): Declaring this the first strike against the plutomanbearcheetocracy, you rally the disillusioned blue collars into a guerilla militia company dubbed the "Bluecapes" to start the revolution CG denied you execute your first action in Roll II Rule Make America Great Again, For Real This Time™. Your successful rout of the Donald also vindicates women and restores your mental defence.

CubeCannon swaps MartinLuther and the Namibian Rebels!

 

[Ailedhoo]

Shower Chiang with bullets!

 

[JohannaK]

I hold a fundraising concert to raise European preparedness and rebuild from the so-called Kuat Incident.

 

[Omega124]

I quickly decide to sandbag abd landmine my new found territory to prevent EKNC/Trumpist attacks

 

[GenMarshall]

Frank Drebbin revives me.

(Jesus Christ! I wasn't even notified that there was even an update/response in the forum software)

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Shower Chiang with bullets!

Hold up a sec, I forgot the duel music:

10 (10): The burst goes wild. Chiang promptly retaliates.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (8): A shot to your foot whisks away 12 hitpoints.

I hold a fundraising concert to raise European preparedness and rebuild from the so-called Kuat Incident.

19 (20): Your deft damage control pre-empts what could have been a catastrophic PR blowback. Donations are overflowing, and with the extra cash you're able to boost defences across Europe by 1 point.

(Britain, Ireland, France, Andorra, Spain, Monaco Italy, Vatican City, San Marino, Switzerland, Germany, Luxembourg, Liechtenstein, Belgium, Netherlands, Denmark, Sweden, Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia, Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova, Romania, Hungary, Bulgaria, Greece, Macedonia, Albania, Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Poland, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Austria, and Slovenia gain 4 defence. Portugal, Malta, Iceland and Norway gain 1 defence.)

I quickly decide to sandbag abd landmine my new found territory to prevent EKNC/Trumpist attacks

4: But have you considered... death from above???
ROLL TO DODGE!
14: Turns out you have. The guerillas retreat to the makeshift bunkers as the squadron strafes the area.

Frank Drebbin revives me.

18 (19): Exploiting the legal loophole that you would have been more active if CFC Alerts were functioning properly, he convinces the Powers that Be to grant you respite, restoring 50 hitpoints and halving your negative modifiers—hey, if Ailedhoo is any indication, these guys need all the help they can get.

CubeCannon swaps Ivo Robotnik and the Enchanter!

 

[JohannaK]

I attempt to launch once more, by phases this time and making sure the problems have been fixed.

 

[Ailedhoo]

Aim my gun for Chiang's neck and fire! Strike for the Elder Gods!

 

[CivCube]

[declarative]I head for the nearest nation under siege to do battle[end declarative]

[aside]All shall disintegrate against my unholy circuitry[end aside]

[mirthful realization]Baha. Ha. Ha. Hell on earth is me. Ha. Ha. Ha.[end mirthful realization]​

 

[Omega124]

I steal a f-14 tomcat to do battle in the sky