Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Verarde]

OOC: YESYESYESYESYES


IC: I begin looking for new products to sell.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Now that the lions no longer fear death, Attlee logically proclaims in lion-speak that this battle would be over if John Freeman became John Deadman and thereby proceeds to ravage John Freeman with the tag-team help of the fearless lions.

 

[CivCube]

A proclamation is sent to each militia soldier: "Free marijuana for life! It's as simple as swearing allegiance to the Central Community! If interested, inquire nearby and renounce one's weapons."

 

[hoplitejoe]

I create a statue of my self (the great leader)

 

[landlubber]

I apologize and give the carcass to the Matriarch, declare her the new Queen, and carry on.

 

[hendo]

I intimidate the government forces into standing down, as they have lost their leader and have no chance against my well-armed rebel group.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

. I use my powers to bring mythmonster back from the dead, to do what I tell him to.

 

[Abaddon]

I use my infamy to get me to my wedding on time, along with all my stuff*.


*The stick and the cloak I obtained earlier!

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

As I am being healed, I think of what I can do to right the wrongs I have made.

18 (15): Brokering a peace deal between the government and the rebels would put a feather in your cap.

I begin looking for new products to sell.

19: "HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH HEALTH-IN-A-PACK! TIRED OF YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY BLEEDING YOU DRY WHEN TIMMY SCRAPES HIS KNEE? WORRY NO LONGER! JUST PUT ON THE HEALTH-IN-A-PACK, AND YOUR INFIRMITY WILL DISAPPEAR! IT CURES COLDS, FLU, COLITIS, HEPATITIS, EVEN AIDS!!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! NOT ONLY DOES THE HEALTH-IN-A-PACK REPAIR BROKEN BONES, IT EVEN TREATS PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDERS! YES YOU CAN LIVE HEALTHY AGAIN! AND ALL FOR THE LOW PRICE OF $796.98!"* ^{Health-in-a-Pack does not treat obesity, laziness, or self-destructive political opinions.}

Now that the lions no longer fear death, Attlee logically proclaims in lion-speak that this battle would be over if John Freeman became John Deadman and thereby proceeds to ravage John Freeman with the tag-team help of the fearless lions.

11 (13): Took him down.

A proclamation is sent to each militia soldier: "Free marijuana for life! It's as simple as swearing allegiance to the Central Community! If interested, inquire nearby and renounce one's weapons."

15: They become "productive" members of society, upping your science output by two points.

I create a statue of my self (the great leader)

5 (7): But what shall you craft it in?

I apologize and give the carcass to the Matriarch, declare her the new Queen, and carry on.

8: They settle down, but the shake-up to the status quo will likely not be soon forgotten.

I intimidate the government forces into standing down, as they have lost their leader and have no chance against my well-armed rebel group.

5 (6): Hm. They must have good dental, 'cuz they aren't giving up.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (20): You take out your pistol, and through a spectacularly lucky shot, start a chain reaction that leads one of their fighting vehicles to explode, delivering a hefty blow to troop morale.

. I use my powers to bring mythmonster back from the dead, to do what I tell him to.

14: You resurrect mythmonster2 from Round 2.

I use my infamy to get me to my wedding on time, along with all my stuff*.


*The stick and the cloak I obtained earlier!

20 (20): You stagger into the hall, gasping for breath, but immaculately dressed.

 

[Red_Spy]

I ask a doctor if I may use the phone, so that I can call the Rebel Leader.

 

[Skwink]

I marry a pretty Mexican girl.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I hold up one of my nails for all to see and, using my academia-based logical abilities and my knowledge of medicine to sound all that much more convincing, I persuade the gubment forces that the nails, which I throw 1 at each of their 5 men, are deadly poisonous nails, and since I am so convincing in my arguments, those 5 men drop dead on the spot.

 

[landlubber]

I declare that conquering Africa is my goal (roll for the quest)

 

[hoplitejoe]

I craft an infamous statue of myself out of glass!

 

[Verarde]

OOC: YESYESYESYES

IC: I leave the studio.

 

[hendo]

I continue to give the government forces a makeover. And by makeover I mean riddle with bullets.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Good. I now bring back Terrance.

 

[Abaddon]

God Dammit! What have you got against me?! I rolled a 20!!

An what about my previous 20?!?

Originally Posted by Abaddon
Mythmonster2's large branch is collected up for me and couriered to my wedding

.
20 (20): It'll be there waiting for you.

GAH! I accept turns and turns of crap rolls, but at least actually give me something when I get a decent roll? :/


Using my endurance I pull and pull at the handcuffs until they come off, and all the embarrassment is forgotten.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Calm down, it's only a game .

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I ask a doctor if I may use the phone, so that I can call the Rebel Leader.

5 (2): Leader Sez: "You flee the country and then expect us to listen to you?!"

I marry a pretty Mexican girl.

14 (12): And there was one point less despairing.

I hold up one of my nails for all to see and, using my academia-based logical abilities and my knowledge of medicine to sound all that much more convincing, I persuade the gubment forces that the nails, which I throw 1 at each of their 5 men, are deadly poisonous nails, and since I am so convincing in my arguments, those 5 men drop dead on the spot.

2 (7): "HE'S GOT A NAIL!! TAKE HIM OUT!!"
ROLL TO DODGE!
4: *PAPPAPPAPPAPPAPPAPPAP* and out comes 15 hitpoints.

I declare that conquering Africa is my goal (roll for the quest)

9: The hyenas express doubt as to the long-term feasibility of such a venture.

I craft an infamous statue of myself out of glass!

11 (13): A tribute to the power of the rhinoceros, fashioned from the delicate! IT'S SO POETIC!!

I leave the studio.

5: Vince is waiting for you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (16): "ARE YOU ON THE BALL?" *smack* >-14 hp< "GET ON THE BALL!"

I continue to give the government forces a makeover. And by makeover I mean riddle with bullets.

18 (20): *PAPAPAPAPAK* *click* *shock* *chi-chik* *PAPAPAPAK* *PAPAPAPAPAPAK* *PAPAPAK* *PAPAPAK* *PAPAPAPAK*

Their morale breaks.

Good. I now bring back Terrance.

19: Oh, hot damn. Not only do you resurrect him from Round Three, but he's independent enough to play by himself yet suffers if he goes after you!

Using my endurance I pull and pull at the handcuffs until they come off, and all the embarrassment is forgotten.

5 (7): "I can-" Well, we should know the line. You fail, and the guests chuckle, making you feel like a right bloody fool.