Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[EnglishCrusader]

I start to get pissed off so I join Terrance.

 

[Verarde]

I begin building a massive advertising empire using my great charisma and ability to socially interact well with people.

(Yes Abaddon, stole that from you.)

 

[Abaddon]

It is a great wedding, I endure all the social interaction that is to be done, and my infamy insures everything goes off as planned. Everyone is very pleased and we are showered with lots and lots of engagement gifts.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I do science! Commie science!

 

[CivCube]

I wander through my now-bustling metropolis in search of the woman with the red bandana (WWRB).

 

[Skwink]

Ana (Mexican Woman) and I have a child.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Using lofty academia-like logical arguments for persuasion, my medical knowledge to appear convincing, and my engineering knowledge for throwing trajectories, I toss a handful of nails in the air above the survivors' heads and inform them that the only way to avoid instant death from my "poisonous" nails is to swear immediate allegiance to hendo before the nails land on them.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I inform the president if he allows Free Elections, peace will be made with the rebels.

6 (3): "A-hahahahahaha! If you think democracy is what they're really after, you're more gullible than they are!"

I brutally murder the upstarts and jolt myself back to sanity.

17: It does help with the stress and you gain two points back, but... oh yeah, cops.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9: They surround the theatre.

I pray again, hoping to stop this horrible chain of rolls.

18: Good thing they seem to have infinite patience. They Reveal to your comrades the nature and prospective goals of your enterprise, and they become more unified in purpose.

I start to get pissed off so I join Terrance.

8: The police have cordoned off the area. Apparently there's a mass murderer inside.

I begin building a massive advertising empire using my great charisma and ability to socially interact well with people.

(Yes Abaddon, stole that from you.)

1: Dr. Hax doesn't like it when people copy exploits.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7: You're struck by a monitor for 15 damage.

It is a great wedding, I endure all the social interaction that is to be done, and my infamy insures everything goes off as planned. Everyone is very pleased and we are showered with lots and lots of engagement gifts.

19 (20): And to top it off, you get $15,000 through, er, "donations".

I do science! Commie science!

17 (19): You gain a science production bonus when directing your efforts toward social welfare, military technology, and engineering!

I wander through my now-bustling metropolis in search of the woman with the red bandana (WWRB).

17: Someone advises you to check with Darth Caesar('s body) for secret information.

Ana (Mexican Woman) and I have a child.

17 (16): You adopt an orphan baby girl from one of the hospitals.

Using lofty academia-like logical arguments for persuasion, my medical knowledge to appear convincing, and my engineering knowledge for throwing trajectories, I toss a handful of nails in the air above the survivors' heads and inform them that the only way to avoid instant death from my "poisonous" nails is to swear immediate allegiance to hendo before the nails land on them.

4 (9): By now, they've fled out of sight.

 

[Red_Spy]

I ask him what are they after.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I use that research to make the most infamous weapon EVAR

 

[Verarde]

Again, I try to build a massive advertising empire.

 

[Skwink]

I name her Natasha and began training her in the ways of the Others.

OOC: It seems this gaming is becoming more of an RPG than a deathmatch, which I don't mind at all.

 

[Terrance888]

I power my Alien Medalion with the still-beating heart of the guy I killed and several batteries.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I use my knowledge of medicine for triaging, my sunglasses of awesome, and my engineering knowledge to safely send through the teleporter to the library everyone who is wounded (including hendo and me), so that the wounded can heal in the library, while the Master comes through to lead the non-wounded; but people only move through the teleporter as long as it is safe to do so (i.e. a bad roll = my engineering ability and sunglasses are used to tell everyone to stay where they are). (Oh yeah, and since I saved the two lions and since the fighting is over, I'm back up to 17 lions now, thanks.)

Spoiler Me wearing my Engineer's Sunglasses of Awesomeness :

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I bring back the dead kids to serve me.

 

[landlubber]

We begin our conquest of Africa!

 

[Abaddon]

Can my stats now reflect I am married? Great

My wife gives birth to the heir of the Kingdom.

 

[CivCube]

"Citizens of Elomo! I depart for another place. In this new election, I ask you to consider this: it takes a village idiot to raise a lot of weed!"

With that, I board the plane for Mbuji-Mayi.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I ask him what are they after.

18 (15): "What's the usual motivation for overthrowing a government?"

(Hint: it starts with 'P' and rhymes with flower)

I use that research to make the most infamous weapon EVAR

2 (4): You exhaust your limited knowledge in a failed prototype.

Again, I try to build a massive advertising empire.

6: Hm. Seems like all your old contacts are convinced it's a prank call.

I name her Natasha and began training her in the ways of the Others.

7 (6): Maybe when she's older.

I power my Alien Medalion with the still-beating heart of the guy I killed and several batteries.

1: You overload the mechanism triggering a violent energy surge that saps 23 hitpoints and inflicts full-body numbness, leading to a -3 penalty to all movement-related rolls.

I use my knowledge of medicine for triaging, my sunglasses of awesome, and my engineering knowledge to safely send through the teleporter to the library everyone who is wounded (including hendo and me), so that the wounded can heal in the library, while the Master comes through to lead the non-wounded; but people only move through the teleporter as long as it is safe to do so (i.e. a bad roll = my engineering ability and sunglasses are used to tell everyone to stay where they are). (Oh yeah, and since I saved the two lions and since the fighting is over, I'm back up to 17 lions now, thanks.)

18 (20): ...And so thankfully I don't have to figure out how half of this works.

I bring back the dead kids to serve me.

2: Seems it only works with listed NPCs.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13: You pull your head out of the abyss before suffering major backlash.

We begin our conquest of Africa!

13: You chase away them undesirables in the hills.

My wife gives birth to the heir of the Kingdom.

8 (9): Wait a few months.

"Citizens of Elomo! I depart for another place. In this new election, I ask you to consider this: it takes a village idiot to raise a lot of weed!"

With that, I board the plane for Mbuji-Mayi.

19: And so you leave a permanent legacy as you take the surprisingly short trip to the other side of the continent, courtesy of the novel superjet.

CivGeneral suffers 20 damage for inactivity.

 

[Red_Spy]

I shake off my guilt and tell him to allow free elections, because I have to photos of something his wife would be a little "mad" to see, and not afraid to mail them to her.