Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Nukeknockout]

Sacrifice Redspy to John Lennon to improve my chances of joining.

 

[Terrance888]

I try to unlock the alien tech which is obviously hidden in such mysterious technology!

 

[CivDad]

Please have a seat, and the doctor will be with you shortly..

Ummm... What?
I begin work on Cartographica Terrae, an atlas.

 

[Red_Spy]

Return to Russia and ask for my next assignment.

Also, very nice summary!

 

[Darth Caesar]

I heal myself

 

[hendo]

I inspect the rock and come to realise that it possesses healing powers.

 

[SamSniped]

(For those who don't get it, he isn't accepting new players )

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Run as president of afghanistan!

9 (10): Lacking even the most skeletal party infrastructure, your inroads into Afghan politics are virtually non-existent.

Using my statesmanship and medical knowledge, I authoritatively take control of a nearby State-owned medical facility and employ my country's aggressive disease-control measures to develop a cure to the disease.

3 (7): It seems that the cartels have completely gutted the state's medical infrastructure. The disease intensifies to -12 hp/turn.

I head to the local pharmacy and persuade (+3) the pharmacist to help heal me up.

13 (16): You're patched up to the tune of 40 hitpoints.

I try to unlock the alien tech which is obviously hidden in such mysterious technology!

20: You find a cold fusion reactor.

Return to Russia and ask for my next assignment.

Also, very nice summary!

hatsoff

2: You encounter a roving band of ultranationalists who have some choice words for your cosmopolitan sympathies.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: They open fire for 20 damage.

I heal myself

5 (7): You scrape yourself for 7 damage.

I inspect the rock and come to realise that it possesses healing powers.

19 (20): You discover upon closer examination that it's not a rock at all, but the Horse Talisman! As long as it is equipped, you will heal 20 hitpoints per turn and are immune to ongoing physical harm.

 

[Terrance888]

I sell power for cheep and undercut my competitors.

 

[Verarde]

I attempt to restore my Health-in-a-Pack to full working order.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I learn a healing spell

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Gutted or not, my experience as a nurse, my academic prowess, and my ability to command and lead these talented men and women of the state lead us to curing me, but not before bottling some of the disease for later... analysis.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I start gaining the trust of local afghan leaders.

 

[MaDaro]

I ride a magical volcano.... Donkey.

 

[Red_Spy]

Explain to the ultranationlists why my views would benefit Russia the most.

 

[hendo]

Being the gun nut that I am, I casually tinker with my collection to see if I can make any improvements, while wondering what must be done for my team to achieve victory.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I sell power for cheep and undercut my competitors.

7: Big Oil launches a vicious PR campaign, using misinformation and junk science to discredit your industry.

I attempt to restore my Health-in-a-Pack to full working order.

11: You begin to ease off your dependency on the Zorbeez. The health-in-a-Pack is now running at 20% efficiency.

I learn a healing spell

3 (5): You end up cursing yourself. All healing is now 50% less effective.

Gutted or not, my experience as a nurse, my academic prowess, and my ability to command and lead these talented men and women of the state lead us to curing me, but not before bottling some of the disease for later... analysis.

4 (9): It's a really stubborn strain.

I start gaining the trust of local afghan leaders.

13 (14): You work your way into regional confidence.

Explain to the ultranationlists why my views would benefit Russia the most.

20: So persuasive is your argument that half of them commit suicide, and the other half disband. With a major source of internal unrest neutralized, the Russian domestic situation is vastly improved, and you are awarded a salary increase of $18 in recognition of your masterful diplomacy.

Being the gun nut that I am, I casually tinker with my collection to see if I can make any improvements, while wondering what must be done for my team to achieve victory.

19 (20): You outfit your entire arsenal with incendiary rounds. This should make it much easier to kill off the competition.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Attlee makes the sound, logical argument that his saliva has proven to have curative powers, so he proceeds to attack the disease with his teeth, drooling saliva on top of the diseased areas as he does so.

 

[Verarde]

I go and talk (+3) to a local proprietor of a general store in order to buy some materials of any sort, spending maximum $150.

Spoiler OOC thorvald :

I don't care what I get, I'm just seeing what the RNG will give me.

 

[Terrance888]

I use my jet bomber to lead a Hispanic Revolt in the American South West.