Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[hoplitejoe]

I look around for the base, i must have left it somewhere.

 

[CivCube]

I spend some culture on a social policy. It's invigorating and lightly arousing.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Oh, no, not the poor rookies! I head into the hospital's Emergency ward and volunteer my medical services to help the rookies and other patients in need.

 

[GenMarshall]

Recognizing my addiction, I use some of my ammo contest's prize winnings to check myself into a rehab facility.

 

[gay_Aleks]

I return and begin rowing towards the nearest land, and curse the Twitch community.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Right, with the civil war now officially over, I start statecraft img.

I start with a national highway system throughout Namibia so that next time NATO invades, I can better mobilize troops and maybe not nessecairly rely on mercenaries much(not that I don't love you, fam)

17: Bomb-proof, octuple-lane freeways greatly improve transit efficiency. You gain $11/turn to state coffers for the low low price of $230.

Scout this side for any aircraft hangers, workshops, labs, communication arrays, alien holding cells, torture chamber etch.

Of course I will search while sneaking in the box.

4 (7): You bump into a squad of soldiers on parade.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (7): They kick the box off you and shoot you for 10 damage.

edit: mr skeltal haunts this thread wooooooowoooo~

20: Everyone make a SAN save.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (3): hoplitejoe loses 2 SAN and suffers a -2 penalty to all rolls from terror.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (2): hendo loses 3 SAN and suffers a -3 penalty to all rolls from terror.
ROLL TO DODGE!
3 (1): CivGeneral loses 4 SAN and suffers a -3 penalty to all rolls from terror.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6: Dhoomstriker loses 1 SAN and suffers a -1 penalty to all rolls from terror.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (3): CivCube loses 2 SAN and suffers a -2 penalty to all rolls from terror.
ROLL TO DODGE!
20 (17): Ailedhoo is empowered by the dankness darkness, gaining a +3 bonus against mental attacks.
ROLL TO DODGE!
16: Omega124 laughs in the face of danger, gaining a +1 bonus to all rolls for the next three turns from sheer bravado.
ROLL TO DODGE!
3 (3): Tolni loses 2 SAN and suffers a -2 penalty to all rolls from terror.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1: JohannaK loses 4 SAN and suffers a -3 penalty to all rolls from terror.

I look at the mirror to discover myself to be the living image of Ziggy Stardust as seen on the album cover.

19: Staring down at the watering hole, you are indeed the living image of Ziggy Stardust. You gain a +3 bonus to musical performance.

I look around for the base, i must have left it somewhere.

14 (15): Oh, no worries, it's safe and sound in the Gobi. S'just now you're in Africa.

I spend some culture on a social policy. It's invigorating and lightly arousing.

2 (4): You have no to spend, so end up borrowing 15 from neighbouring towns at 2% interest. Such risky budgeting behaviour increases your Lust by 10.

Oh, no, not the poor rookies! I head into the hospital's Emergency ward and volunteer my medical services to help the rookies and other patients in need.

2 (4): Your corroding body drips everywhere. Hospital orderlies move you into quarantine as the attack worsens to -6 hp/turn. You probably won't be able to practice proper medicine while you're so volatile.

Recognizing my addiction, I use some of my ammo contest's prize winnings to check myself into a rehab facility.

20 (16): Spending all $100 you go into detox, where amidst the gruelling régime you finally get a proper meal.

I return and begin rowing towards the nearest land, and curse the Twitch community.

15 (16): It's mind-numbing work, but it does boost your STR by 1.

CubeCannon swaps Ana and the Namibian Rebels!

 

[Ailedhoo]

They kicked off my box?! Charge and strike down the leader of these soldiers! My crowbar will strike them down! For the Elder Gods!

 

[JohannaK]

I compose and produce a concept album about my terrors and skeletons to get me rid of the terrors.

 

[gay_Aleks]

So you want skeletons? What about partying skeletons? Nobody lives forever!

In other words, I look for skeletons to create a..well, musical-dance-band-thingy.

 

[Omega124]

I launch a missile at the CubeCannon

 

[GenMarshall]

Crazy? You don't know the half of it! I find my best M16 bullet, sneak up on the fate paradox, and shoot that bullet right in the middle of the paradox, causing it to invert the values of any Conditions as the fate paradox expands throughout the universe and beyond.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Samuel North calmly enters the hospital and persuades the hospital staff to heal Dhoomstriker, their long-time colleague and friend.

 

[CivCube]

"Ahh, there might be bees in the room, eat all the honey now!!"

 

[hoplitejoe]

i catch a plane back to the Gobi

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

They kicked off my box?! Charge and strike down the leader of these soldiers! My crowbar will strike them down! For the Elder Gods!

10 (13): You start clubbing soldiers.

I compose and produce a concept album about my terrors and skeletons to get me rid of the terrors.

19 (19): You also net a healthy $475 in royalties.

So you want skeletons? What about partying skeletons? Nobody lives forever!

In other words, I look for skeletons to create a..well, musical-dance-band-thingy.

1 (1): You accidentally end up summoning the spirits of the drowned!
ROLL TO DODGE!
11 (10): They rock your dinghy most disturbingly, causing you to vomit up 4 hitpoints.

I launch a missile at the CubeCannon

5 (6): You have no orbital launch capability.

Crazy? You don't know the half of it! I find my best M16 bullet, sneak up on the fate paradox, and shoot that bullet right in the middle of the paradox, causing it to invert the values of any Conditions as the fate paradox expands throughout the universe and beyond.

17 (10): You jam your finger in the chamber for 3 damage.

Samuel North calmly enters the hospital and persuades the hospital staff to heal Dhoomstriker, their long-time colleague and friend.

1: Just a tad antsy from all what's happened, he snaps, raving like a madman before accidentally discharging a shot into the ceiling. Panic engulfs the hospital, and you note with no small worry that in all the confusion nobody is checking in on you.

"Ahh, there might be bees in the room, eat all the honey now!!"

13 (10): Your honey reserves appear depleted.

i catch a plane back to the Gobi

18 (17): Catching a super-discount charter for only $25, you cruise on back to Dalandzadgad.

CubeCannon swaps Tolni and Frank Drebbin!

 

[hoplitejoe]

In Dalandzadgad, I work with local mystics to unspook myself.

 

[JohannaK]

I seduce the Master.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

In my insane condition, I draw strength from the mass confusion, rising above the tumult to actually believe that I can heal myself ("I think, therefore I am; I believe, therefore I can" becomes my repeatedly muttered mantra, which sounds like insane ramblings to anyone listening in), ironically serenely stabbing nails into the battery acid on my skin, layering popsicle sticks on bleeding spots, and connecting it all together with some duct tape in the most ridiculous engineering configuration of which one could ever conceive. Oh, and all while struggling to see what I'm doing because I had put on my bloody brilliant Sunglasses of Awesome.

 

[CivCube]

I wait a mo' to see if I wig out even more.

 

[Ailedhoo]

Continue to deliver my crowbar to their heads till they paint the hallways in crimson! Slay for the Elder Gods! Slay! SLAY!