Omega124
Challenging Fate
As the power vaccuum in America increases, I order the Bluecapes to blitz back to New York.
Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition
- Thread starter Thorvald of Lym
- Start date
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I take back Florida and put it under my temporary control while the EKNC prevents the US from reigning me in.
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
20 (20): Your valiant forces sweep across New England, consolidating northern states under the Namibian banner and driving Trump out of NYC. Seizure of America's economic capital improves Namibia's Defence rating by 3 points and boosts state funds +$35/turn, although American preparedness is undermined 2 points from the stock market/morale upset.Omega124 said:
[AUTO-FAIL]: Conquered territories cannot be reclaimed.JohannaK said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
5 (6): The computer virus intensifies, undermining Shielding and Life Support -5% each!
5 (6): You're still dangerously understrength to take on the Eternal Kingdom full force, let alone finish off President George.CivCube said:
Christos tries to cut the duel short by stealing the Horse Talisman!
ROLL TO DODGE!
15 (10): hendo resists the attack, but takes 8 damage in the process.
SOL 740 recalibrates to hit the 17th Armoured.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (1): The satellite misses the mark and hits Kazakh defensive positions instead, undermining the country's defence by 3 points!
The Eternal Kingdom seizes the initiative to strike out for Baikonur!
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (9): ...and rides straight into the still-active beam. Ted Cruz, meanwhile, forgoes a ground attack to focus firepower against the Space Oddity.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (13): Shielding loses another 8% effectiveness, with direct hits on the Armour dealing 2% damage. Meanwhile, George heads out in search of a port.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18 (20): Vicious
CivGeneral is declared AWOL.
CubeCannon swaps Omega124 and the Rhinoceros!
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I get my tech team to fix the bloody security breach.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
I set course for the dark side of the Moon.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
Gentlemen, I welcome myself to Dubai
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
14 (15): They corral the virus and patch up exploits, providing the ship a +1 defence against cyberattack.JohannaK said:
16: Further withdrawing from the battleground of consequence, you flee to the moon's far side, gaining a +2 cover bonus.CivGeneral said:
17 (18): After restoring most of your weapons systems and 150 hitpoints, you cash in the mad experience gained from taking on like all the Eternal Kingdom at once, buffing your maximum hitpoints to 350 and gaining another point in combat. You get the feeling you're gonna need 'em...CivCube said:
13 (16): Since in this timeline Dubai hasn't been totally #shrekt (yet), you cash in $200 for a stately reception that brings you back up to full health.Omega124 said:
Won't anyone think of
ROLL TO DODGE!
8 (4): Christos launches another brutalizing assault, inflicting 13 damage.
SOL 740 zeroes in on the 4th Division.
ROLL TO DODGE!
3 (1): Through superior military and training, the forces lead the satellite on an unwitting course of destruction through the Chinese front lines, sapping its defences -3 points this turn!
The main EKNC army quickly follows up on a strike into the Chinese interior.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7 (6): Of course, it's very hard to miss the trail of an orbital death beam, enabling a swift counterattack that routs the invaders. Cruz, meanwhile, re-begins the invasion of Mexico that never wasn't.
ROLL TO DODGE!
10 (8): Forgetting to knock down Trump's wall first (again), the offensive quite literally halts at the border. In an unexpected move, the African cell launches an invasion of Madagascar!
ROLL TO DODGE!
17: The assault group seizes half the island, poising it for flanking manoeuvres against Mozambique and Swaziland that reduce the countries' Defence -2 points.
The Eternal Kingdom has readied a nuke!
CubeCannon swaps the Namibian Rebels and Ivo Robotnik!
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I bombard the 52nd.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
I head to the ship's galley to get something to eat.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
I go hire the services of a TV recording studio, where I broadcast directly to Namibia, declaring a Great Patriotic War against the EKNC
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
8 (11): You strafe the unit for 14 damage.JohannaK said:
1: Oh. Oh no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You thought you were safe. You thought you'd escaped. You thought you could safely sit outside the war for the fate of humanity; regardless of what happened to that insignificant little blue planet, at least you would survive as a free spirit, maybe even sail off and become supremor of some distant galactic empire... But Ted Cruz, he's a snake, he'd been planning. His cronies were working for NASA long before King George arrived on the scene. They added a little feature to Joan's schematics, a bulk matter transmitter—nothing grandiose, nothing conspicuous: a little unit about the size of a fridge, just big enough to send, say, a person through. A special person. The sort of person that would otherwise be critically vulnerable if the heroes assembled a fleet of orbital death ships to spend all their time bombarding the surface.CivGeneral said:
You thought you could outrun him. But you can't escape what's already here.
You are facing Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), Patron Saint of Theocracy! At least Joan's previous actions knocked his hitpoints down a bit.
ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!
6 (6): You totally didn't expect this, suffering a -2 defence penalty in his opening attack!
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (1): Cruz carves you good, inflicting 20 damage and several open wounds that will bleed out 4 hitpoints per turn! You struggle to retaliate.
ROLL TO AGGRESS!
15 (10): You fire off a burst from your M16 to no effect!
3 (4): Much as the other players totally owe you for holding the proverbial line, this'd make the boss fights just a tad too easy. Overloading in an attempt to find a logical work-around, the satellite explodes, sending shrapnel hurtling through inner orbit at ludicrous speed!CivCube said:
ROLL TO DODGE!
5 (10): The Space Oddity absorbs 2% damage through shielding.
ROLL TO DODGE!
3 (7): The Mike Pence's shields are battered for 5% effectiveness.
6 (7): You lay down $300 for a prime-time slot. Unfortunately, it's currently mid-day.Omega124 said:
Meanwhile, Christos continues to wail on hendo.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7 (3): Christos riddles him with holes dealing 17 damage.
SOL 740 picks up where Joan left off.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (1): You really shouldn't send a robot to do a human's job as they once again deflect its targeting, this time in Afghanistan, for -3 Defence.
The main Monarchist army swiftly follows through into the Afghan highlands.
ROLL TO DODGE!
10 (12): The infernal legions push deeper into the central regions. The American cell turns back to America.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (7): Turns out Cruz's reassignment has left brass scrambling to catch up, earning the USA time to fortify 1 point. Can Mozambique claim the same?
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (3): Actually yes, as the invasion fleet is intercepted and the ground forces thrown into disarray, enabling Mozambique, Swaziland and South Africa to fortify 2 points each.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I support the people of the world to defeat the evil EKNC with a touching ballad emitted simultaneously across the globe.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
I glare at Ted while applying bandages to the wound and stop the bleeding as I rally Frank and the ship's crew to fight the beast. "What sort of sick joke is this!?" I grunted at myself "I'm through being cursed with the Fate Paradox, It's time I filled myself with DETERMINATION!!!"
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
7 (6): Shoulda spent more time on rehearsal; all you manage is the half-time jingle, making only ½ your usual cash this turn.Omega124 said:
2 (6): You're fined $100 for aggravating global emissions.JohannaK said:
OK, so that's like, three actions at once, so I'm gonna *roll*CivGeneral said:
3: You try to summon Frank to the mess, which gets a
20: "It's a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!" Catching Cruz by surprise, Frank gains a +3 attack bonus this turn, drawing his attention away from you for 4 turns.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (5): But it's not quite enough to catch Ted unprepared, and Frank takes 12 damage in the ensuing struggle.
15 (16): Using his residual biological data as a trace, you get a lock on President George's position. Arming all weapons, you set off for the Cape, ETA 2 turns.
hendo continues to struggle against Monarchist tyranny.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (9): Christos grazes him for 11 damage.
SOL 740 sets its sights on the 80th Mechanized.
ROLL TO DODGE!
20 (13): Managing to keep the beam on the scattering troops, it inflicts 15 damage.
The Eternal Kingdom renews its offensive in India.
ROLL TO DODGE!
14 (12): Monarchist usurpers press into Punjab. Cruz's cronies likewise renew the Cuban invasion.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18 (16): A multi-pronged assault seizes the western front, storming Havana and butchering the godless homosexual Namibian femicommie expedition. Demoralized Cuban defences crumble by two points. George's forces turn back to South Africa while they still have the initiative.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4 (5): Bolstered by vengeful Namibian paramilitaries, the South Africans rally, turning back the tide and fortifying the frontier.
