Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[civplayah]

My second pair of arms should skyrocket my NBA career, as I can shoot and keep the opposing team at bay at the same time.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I use my angelic CareSeon Stare to make everyone in the vicinity friends.

11: Disaster averted. The police decide not to press charges.

I use my sword to scalp kill fire. Without his ridiculous anime hair, his super saiyan powers should immediately vanish.

9: He's too high up!

First things first, got some time, and actually decided I need the end result anyway - wearing my Hawaiian shirt (sure it's small, but hey, don't have to button it) I raise some more quick cash to add to my old coins via comedic routine/performance at distributing the sometimes erudite, sometimes questionable fashion advice from the CFC OT of the future.

8: The fish just aren't biting today.

I jump on my flying horsie and find fly looking for Killfire, I then descend on killfire hopefully to hit him.

7: Despite his übercharged appearance, you do not spot him.

I read the Chinese Army: Special Ops Training Manual, to learn how to be stealthy.

10: You don't know Chinese.

I hide from any living object.

19: You take cover, becoming undetectable by average mortals, gaining a +5 to defensive rolls against physical attack.

I shoot a blast of pure energy at choxorn to stop him from cutting my insane awesome anime Super Saiyan hair.

9 (11): You shoot where you think he'll be, but as he can't reach you he narrowly avoids the blast, suffering only moderate burns and a loss of 8 hp.

Send off to all the competitions in this weeks Radio Times.. even the really lame crossword puzzel.

8: You hear no response.

Begin attacking anything we (Angels and I) can.

1: St. Peter is none too happy you are using angels for random acts of violence, and promptly recalls them.

I tap my body for extra power, and summon the same people as last post. The two guys I summonded before can stay or leave, their choice.

10: You almost reach a new plane of existence, but alas, trying to summon generals from the past detracts from your concentration and neither operations succeed.

My second pair of arms should skyrocket my NBA career, as I can shoot and keep the opposing team at bay at the same time.

6: Unaccustomed to four arms, you make some clumsy manoeuvres that leads your captain to suggest "recuperation" for the next five turns, suspending your pay.

Omega's troops pull up alongside mythmonster2 and try to gun him down.
ROLL TO DODGE!
14: Can't touch this.
The police pull up alongside Omega124 and try to gun him down.
ROLL TO DODGE!
17: You fire your rocket, disabling one of the cruisers.

 

[Earthling]

Still need a little more cash to make a go of this.

I follow around a guy on the beach with a metal detector magically enchanting it to find extra stuff - I'm willing to share/split profits with the guy and intend no harm.

 

[mythmonster2]

I leap onto one of the Illuminati and drink his blood as well.

 

[Seon]

I ascend to heaven with the brownie fairies.

 

[civplayah]

I use my earnings to enter business with ChildFund, give money to children that need it, and win an Altruism/Major League Athleticism/Economic Victory for my efforts.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I get an and shoot mythmontser 2.

 

[kill fire]

I point my index finger at the cover bestrfcplayer is hiding behind and shoot an energy beam out of it.

 

[Omega124]

I use every flipping part of my body to summon those generals, even if it means crossing the line of human existance.

 

[TheLastOne36]

I try again for Kill Fire.

 

[kill fire]

Yeah... um.. I have the potential to blow up cities, planets even. I won't because that would be begging for a Dr. HAX intervention, but are you sure you wanna attack me?

 

[GenMarshall]

I read the United States Special Forces Manual to gain the ability to be stealthy.

 

[choxorn]

I curse my inability to fly, and then gain the ability to jump really, really high.

 

[kill fire]

Another thing you guys seem to be forgetting is that for one thing, I have super-human strength, and for another there is an intense aura of energy radiating around me.

 

[Earthling]

Alright, that last bit of smug bragging just tipped the scales to get on my nerves. The spacetime continuum is serious stuff, and time warfare is not waged lightly - I mean, I still plan to kindly abstain from mailing that letter to Nintendo giving them the plot of a videogame involving a grizzled, male bounty hunter with a spacesuit infused with alien technology...But perhaps I can find a DC Comics lawyer here in the 1980s who'd have an interest in the intellectual rights over a superpowered hero come to Earth as the last survivor of his alien race... Have to see if I can find a free turn or am too busy with my overall mission, but then again, the universe could always use more people who grow up to be average, everyday accountants working at a bank in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

 

[kill fire]

Quiet, or I'll send a blast through space and time to kill you.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I follow around a guy on the beach with a metal detector magically enchanting it to find extra stuff - I'm willing to share/split profits with the guy and intend no harm.

3: He mistakes you for someone else and attempts to club you over the head.
ROLL TO DODGE!
20: You make a swift dodge while pleading your case. The man apologizes profusely, and offers to assist you in your endeavours.

I leap onto one of the Illuminati and drink his blood as well.

14: You regain your health while causing him to faint.

I ascend to heaven with the brownie fairies.

11: You shuffle off this mortal corral.

I use my earnings to enter business with ChildFund, give money to children that need it, and win an Altruism/Major League Athleticism/Economic Victory for my efforts.

4: You give a third of your capital to ChildFund anonymously.

I get an and shoot mythmontser 2.

10: You fail to find a gun, and the search negates your defensive bonus.

I point my index finger at the cover bestrfcplayer is hiding behind and shoot an energy beam out of it.

7 (9): Unfortunately, you do this before bestrfcplayer becomes visible.

I use every flipping part of my body to summon those generals, even if it means crossing the line of human existance.

2: The vain attempt drains your stamina, reducing your health by 18 hp.

I try again for Kill Fire.

15: You manage to mid-air trample him for 18 damage.

I read the United States Special Forces Manual to gain the ability to be stealthy.

17: You become adept at covert tactics, gaining a +2 to rolls for stealth-related actions.

I curse my inability to fly, and then gain the ability to jump really, really high.

2: You leap off a building and suddenly realize that during your string of curses, you forgot to bless yourself with epic leap. You take 12 damage in the fall.

mythmonster2's police again attack Omega.
ROLL TO DODGE!
3: They speed off into the traffic ahead, but not before unloading a lead volley dealing 19 damage.
The fudge pixies, now pacified, return to headquarters.

 

[choxorn]

Realizing I cannot reach the sky by my own means, I look for a helicopter to steal.

 

[TheLastOne36]

I keep Choxorn from finding a helicopter

 

[kill fire]

I am enraged by TLO's assault, but I also admire that he was able to hit me. I offer to join forces with him in a locked alliance. If he refuses or doesn't respond, I blast him off of the face of the earth, along with choxorn.