Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

I reveal my true identity, Phobos, Greek God of Fear. As the only Greek god connected to war, in any way, currently present, the Keres come to me as attendants.
 
I unleash the waves of citrusy goodness upon all players and then turn around and backhand Dr. HAAAAAAX.
 
Hmm, no one got back to me...so I'll take it upon myself to make this decision. Since I've got time for a little pregame chit-chat right now:

I call the Devil to challenge him to make a pact - 10 turns from when agreement of the pact is settled, I challenge him to a standard chess match. I'll accept either of the following wagers:
-Abaddon's soul
-control over a legion of demons

I ask what conditions/stakes he requires and I'll see next turn if I'll agree and if we have a bargain.
 
You didn't see what happened to cindle in the first Roll To Dodge game did you?

nope. not a clue.

EDIT: not reading through the whole thing, but...my action could be interpreted as being two actions and getting me in trouble?
 
choxorn said:
Alright, Johnny. Enough of this crap. I climb back in to the helicopter and unleash the unholy barrage of all the weapons in it, all fired at him.
10: You cannot target him without risking civilian casualties. Fortunately, your men manage to subdue him.

Abaddon said:
Have I not turned into a fully fledged Demon following graduation?

Gain the ability to feed on peoples HP (Soul Reave)
Knowledge is no substitute for experience. ;)
20 (20): You can now directly target other players' hitpoints to regenerate your own. This action will never fail; the roll will determine its effectiveness.

CivGeneral said:
I read the flipping envelope and ask for a night vision goggles!

(I'm ready to kick and smack the 20d dice around for giving me such freaking bad rolls)
7: You have been assigned to assassinate the head of a corporate conglomerate involved in shady politics. He is somewhat alert to potential threats against him, and has fortified his headquarters with mercenary guards.
In other news, nobody has a pair to spare.

CivGeneral's persistent string of bad luck has made him frustrated (-1 to concentrative actions; +2 to aggressive actions).

civplayah said:
As my first act as God, I drain everyone (not me) of 10HP.
9: You may be God, but you aren't a god.

Seon said:
I create an equipment that will heal me every turn
4: You create a device capable of persistently draining the wearer's stamina. You find this out once you put it on, immediately losing 5 hp.

TheLastOne36 said:
I assasinate the US president for not allowing me to buy the moon.
5 (3): Some tattler has informed President Obama of your plot. The Secret Service is dispatched to take you out, ETA 3 turns.

kill fire said:
Alright, I start sleeping restfully.
16: A long nap has recovered your defencive bonus, and 14 hp.

tuxedohamm said:
I reveal my true identity, Phobos, Greek God of Fear.
17: You gain +3 to intimidation actions, suffer -2 to interpersonal charisma, and gain a +2 to your next action through the terror you inflict upon those around you as your cast off your ring of invisibility.

Omega124 said:
I get my Illuminati squad to drive me to the Shopping district of the city.
19: You arrive at Milarqui's Mega-Mall.

mythmonster2 said:
I unleash the waves of citrusy goodness upon all players and then turn around and backhand Dr. HAAAAAAX.
6: The general populace delights in your gift, which was uncoordinated and unable to claim any casualties. Dr. Hax is unamused, and reciprocates.
ROLL TO DODGE!
17: All he hits is your helicopter. Frustrated, he wanders off.

bestrfcplayer said:
I write a best-selling novel about this game, making $10000 dollars.
18: You are a published author. Enjoy your prize.

Earthling said:
Hmm, no one got back to me...so I'll take it upon myself to make this decision. Since I've got time for a little pregame chit-chat right now:

I call the Devil to challenge him to make a pact - 10 turns from when agreement of the pact is settled, I challenge him to a standard chess match. I'll accept either of the following wagers:
-Abaddon's soul
-control over a legion of demons

I ask what conditions/stakes he requires and I'll see next turn if I'll agree and if we have a bargain.
18: The Devil is intrigued by your offer. In exchange for your oath of fealty, he will give you custody of Abaddon's soul and have a fire team on standby to evacuate you from a FUBAR scenario.

TheLastOne36 has regained clarity of mind.
 
I hire a rebel army at my command. I send them to surround the Presidential Palace.

Take me on evil Government!
 
Now that he is subdued, I tell the Spartans to kill him while I find non-posioned ice cream.
 
When did my soul become the devils property?!
 
Target bestrfcplayer with Soul Reave
 
When did my soul become the devils property?!

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showpost.php?p=8864922&postcount=350

I'd already been commenting on players playing right into the hands of my master plan without realizing it. You or several other posters could also have just told me whether I should set a long term goal or not when I asked...but now it's a clear countdown.

Clarification: 18 is a nice role and all and I'm very glad the offer is there, so, just to be sure, to accept the final deal - is the chess match still on? If I win I walk away with one Abaddon and if I lose I'll have to serve the Devil as well? If that's an accurate statement of the terms, done. 10 turns from now, it's on.

If accepting the challenge doesn't count as an action - during the early part football game with the marching band I stretch and warm up for a bonus to my next physical action.
 
I sneak into the headquarters via the sewer systems.
 
I send the device to tuxedohamm
 
Screw it, I give up my criminal roles and allow my second-in-command to take over all my various activities. Myth's going solo. I attempt to find the nearest player.
 
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