Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Verarde]

Dang. Alright, new plan.

ACTION: I learn the ways of the Force, gradually knowing enough to be a Grand Master of the Force (allegiance to be determined) and I craft myself a lightsaber.

 

[Anonymoose]

I REMOVE MM2's teeth irreparably with moosikinesis.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

This is getten good!

 

[Earthling]

All right, let's actually have some teammwork here. I'll let Omega liason with the Devil, however, considering he's found a video-game character we mutually hate (note, NOT saying I hate Samus, far from it, but he interfered there before)

I also work to banish Shadow the Hedgehog forever, back to his home planet (he dies along the way)

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Take a big bite out of Abaddon's neck.

13: You transfer 14 hitpoints from him to you.

I stay in the hospital to keep healing, and use my spontaneously-appearing telepathic powers to guide kill fire in his quest for the Cheese of the Gods.

11: You are back to full health, and subtly nudge kill fire in the right direction.

I practice onthe divine powers of a seraph

11: Self-reflection and the purging of decadent thought heals 10 hitpoints.

I attack my target in the office.

9 (10): Your target is not in the office.

DUN DUN DUN!!

I tell the Devil I'll fight for him if he agrees to:

Heal Earthling and I completely
Never target Earthling and I again
Respect Earthling's decision not to fight for him if he so chooses
Kill Shadow the Hedgehog for his emoness

1: The Devil spits in your face for your arrogance. He will have your and Earthling's obedience... after extracting your souls from your mortal coils.
ROLL TO DODGE!
11: You only narrowly avoid his fiery fist.

Channeling my demonic powers, I turn all of MM2's allies on him ordering them to attack.

5 (7): You make yourself vulnerable to their persistent attacks.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (7): You take 9 damage.

I pray to the Gods to guide me to the next step of my quest.

11: You are instructed to find the man with the long white beard and pointy maroon hat.

ACTION: I learn the ways of the Force, gradually knowing enough to be a Grand Master of the Force (allegiance to be determined) and I craft myself a lightsaber.

6: You over-exert yourself for 5 damage.

I REMOVE MM2's teeth irreparably with moosikinesis.

8: He suffers a mild discomfort, but will not need dentures.

I also work to banish Shadow the Hedgehog forever, back to his home planet (he dies along the way)

14: You pull the plug on the kid playing the game.

 

[Verarde]

Alright, I search for a gun.

 

[Seon]

I study how to better wield the divine powers as a seraph in order to destroy evil beings.

 

[choxorn]

11: You are back to full health, and subtly nudge kill fire in the right direction.

Then why do I still have the same number of HP?

 

[mythmonster2]

Perform some ultra-cool looking move with lots of flips and spins to hit Abaddon for massive damage.

 

[Omega124]

I plead to Thorvald of Lym to heal me to full health.

 

[choxorn]

I leave the hospital and go to my helicopter, making sure to pick up the handcuff bracelets and sword so they're not just lying around in the helicopter.

 

[kill fire]

I search for this man who has a long white beard and a pointy maroon hat.

 

[GenMarshall]

Kick down the door of the bathroom to kill my target

 

[tuxedohamm]

Gain powerful new abilities and bonuses due to an increased number of people who are fearful.

 

[Anonymoose]

I become a god-among-moose and heal all players back to full health.

 

[Abaddon]

Cast Soul Reave on MM2

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Alright, I search for a gun.

17: You find a silenced Uzi with four extra magazines.

I study how to better wield the divine powers as a seraph in order to destroy evil beings.

1: You somehow manage to summon an army from Hell.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (6): You suffer 20 damage from the first wave.

Perform some ultra-cool looking move with lots of flips and spins to hit Abaddon for massive damage.

10: You smack him silly for 7 damage.

I plead to Thorvald of Lym to heal me to full health.

15: Thorvald hears your plea, and restores 100 hitpoints.

I leave the hospital and go to my helicopter, making sure to pick up the handcuff bracelets and sword so they're not just lying around in the helicopter.

18: You also pick up the Rod of Asclepius left carelessly on the sidewalk.

I search for this man who has a long white beard and a pointy maroon hat.

15: You peruse the crowd and sight him waiting to cross the street roughly a block distant.

Kick down the door of the bathroom to kill my target

18 (19): You hear a satisfying crunch as the door flies off its hinges and flattens the hapless person behind. You claim the company's assets for your own, totalling $75 million dollars.

Gain powerful new abilities and bonuses due to an increased number of people who are fearful.

1: Most of the world has since steeled its resolve, and you feel your influence wane dramatically (to the tune of your intimidation bonus).

I become a god-among-moose and heal all players back to full health.

10: You heal everyone in Hell 15 hitpoints.

Cast Soul Reave on MM2

2 (4): You drain 4 hitpoints from mythmonster2.

The Devil takes another shot at Omega124.
ROLL TO DODGE!
8: He suffers 10 damage from a kick to the shin.

 

[choxorn]

Feeling sorry for zack not being able to escape jail, I decide to rescue him, but only if he'll give me his soul, or something of equal or greater value.

 

[Seon]

I fire my chaingun of justice towards the offending army while the angels and the brownie fairies back me up

 

[Verarde]

Sweet! I search for some Kevlar body armor that gives me boost to my health.