Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Double A]

Fine.

I find a Babel Fish and stick it in my ear.

 

[choxorn]

Despite not playing, I still manage to plant a sign that says "OMEGA IS HERE" so that the UNSC can find and attack him again.

 

[!!!!!]

go to a refinery and melt my coconut and put the gold on my riot shield

 

[GenMarshall]

I open the door to a room where a shotgun is mounted on a wall.

 

[mythmonster2]

I demonstrate the awesome power of the ULTIMATE WEAPON to prove that I am a worthy disciple/apostle/whatever.

 

[civplayah]

I take over the island with force.

 

[mythmonster2]

Change orders to:
I demonstrate the awesome power of the ULTIMATE WEAPON by shooting it at civplayah to prove that I am a worthy disciple/apostle/whatever.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I launch my conciousness into the robot at such velocity in 4th dimensional plane of the souls that the occupier is instantly kicked out, leaving me in full control of the BattleMech

18: You transcend your puny flesh.

I find out how to tame command volcanoes.

18: All you need to do is build up enough internal pressure to create a fissure through which the lava can flow through.

Let's have a look around the ocean.

12: You spy what looks like a ship far on the horizon.

I meditate with my weapons to find my inner warrior.

15: You steel yourself in swordsmanship, gaining a +1 bonus to rolls for such actions.

I keep training, seeing as I have nothing better to do.

5: You exhaust what you gained.

I find a Babel Fish and stick it in my ear.

10: You try to fish one out of the water, but it slips away.

Despite not playing, I still manage to plant a sign that says "OMEGA IS HERE" so that the UNSC can find and attack him again.

16: They lock on to the beacon and randomly open fire.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: Omega takes 10 damage from the bombardment.

go to a refinery and melt my coconut and put the gold on my riot shield

3 (5): You trip and fall and land on the coconut and bruise your chest for -7 hp.

I open the door to a room where a shotgun is mounted on a wall.

20: You find a fully-loaded HK CAWS automatic shotgun.

I take over the island with force.

4: You force your toe into a rock for 14 damage.

I demonstrate the awesome power of the ULTIMATE WEAPON by shooting it at civplayah to prove that I am a worthy disciple/apostle/whatever.

16: You miss hitting him in the chest, but you manage to vaporise his left arm as well as 10 hitpoints.

 

[!!!!!]

go to medical school and become a doctor

 

[Seon]

I activate missile defense system

 

[Double A]

I ask it nicely to hop into my ear.

 

[landlubber]

"Hey! Over here! Get me off this stupid island, o noble ship!"

 

[kill fire]

I welcome Horace.

 

[remake20]

I use my cleats to dig for items in the sand.

 

[mythmonster2]

Aim for civplayah's right arm.

 

[civplayah]

Look, dude, why do you hate me? I'll hide inside my perfect house.

 

[mythmonster2]

I dunno. First you tried to take over the island, so I just attacked you to stop it, and now I'm just finishing what I started.
And it totally has nothing to do with the fact you killed me last time. No, I'm being serious, you were just there and I needed a target.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

go to medical school and become a doctor

10: You are trapped in studies.

I activate missile defense system

19: You gain a +3 bonus to rolls against missile attacks.

I ask it nicely to hop into my ear.

10: It can't hear you. It's under water.

"Hey! Over here! Get me off this stupid island, o noble ship!"

5: You see a puff of smoke in the distance.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13: The shell bursts twenty metres behind you.

I welcome Horace.

20: "'Sup dawg?" <smack> <smack> <clap>
You gain a +4 bonus to your next action.

I use my cleats to dig for items in the sand.

5 (8): You find nothing of interest.

Aim for civplayah's right arm.

4: The device seems to have overloaded and requires a 2-turn cooldown.

I'll hide inside my perfect house.

19: He can't hit you in here. Not in one shot, at least.

The Covenant battle group has arrived.

 

[remake20]

I use my cleats to look for items again.

 

[!!!!!]

contact all my friends in medical school and have them send some one to give me health points back