Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Double A]

Get the covies to bombard CivPlayah with plasma.

Who's on Chuck Norris' side?

 

[choxorn]

According to post #2, remake20.

 

[Abaddon]

I now have an unlimited maximum HP

 

[GenMarshall]

I enter the dining room.

 

[merciary]

I change my action to:

I find an ancient temple/altar

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Activate General Power: Field repair!

19: Electronics are back online.

I start weeping and try to flag the ship down one last time.

9: It does not see you.

I go back to the Native base and show them the weapon, but also inform them of the loss of men.

15: You don't have the weapon, but the angered natives rally fresh to your cause.

Chop off civplayah's other arm as he attempts to escape.

7: You toss the butcher's knife at him, but it thuds into a tree.

Okay, I assume you mean ten thousand. So, I walk ten thousand paces to the east.

17: After an exhausting trek, you reach the spot on the map. It is a bus depot.

I have CN now, cool. I'm on a landmine?!?! I use chuck to roundhouse kick the mine 400 miles before it blows up.

4: He kicks it far enough that you're not on it, but not far enough to escape the blast radius.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2: You suffer 22 damage.

find the capybara and then heal him

6: You rush back to the shoreline, but it is too late.

Get the covies to bombard CivPlayah with plasma.

5: They lose sight of him amongst the trees while a member of his native army retorts with a Stinger missile.

I now have an unlimited maximum HP

Divine Intervention: 20
ROLL TO DODGE!
3: "HAAAAX!" You suffer 14 damage.

I enter the dining room.

16: You find a non-perishable meal.

I find an ancient temple/altar

9: You find what might have been a temple at some point in time.

The UNSC makes another run over Omega124.
ROLL TO DODGE!
14: He disappears back into the foliage.

 

[remake20]

I use chuck noris's ultimate ability to heal me.

 

[landlubber]

"Why?" I shout in anger. "Please, ship, please, I have no chance without you. I'm floating in an endless ocean. HELP! *weep weep*"

 

[Seon]

Activate all repair systems.

 

[kill fire]

I search the bus depot.

 

[GenMarshall]

I find one of Jill's Berets on the table.

 

[civplayah]

I take the knife and attack with my army! The tables have turned! hopefully

 

[merciary]

I restore the temple to it's former glory

 

[!!!!!]

find merciary knock him out with my coconut pick up the coconut and heal the capybara.

 

[mythmonster2]

I escape into my base and FIRE!

 

[woodland man]

in. as my first move i grow supercorn that never spoils

 

[Anonymoose]

With my new apparently insane-o language, I discover THE TRUTH.

 

[Double A]

A Stinger? Hahahahahahahahaha... that wouldn't even take the shields down. Assuming it escaped orbit, that is.

I have them glass the trees and him too.

 

[kill fire]

Ah, but you forget that a Stinger can take down any aircraft in one hit. And it tracks them. Your only hope is flares.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I use chuck noris's ultimate ability to heal me.

4: He roundhouse kicks you out of 12 hitpoints.

"Why?" I shout in anger. "Please, ship, please, I have no chance without you. I'm floating in an endless ocean. HELP! *weep weep*"

5: landlubber's worry is but a drop of tear in a sea of... sea. Anyway, the ship opens up on you again.
ROLL TO DODGE!
17: It fires far off the mark, you climb back into your raft, and paddle the $@*% out of there.

Activate all repair systems.

13: You will now regenerate 2 hitpoints per turn.

I search the bus depot.

13: You find a bus.

I find one of Jill's Berets on the table.

15: You find a lucky STARS beret that bestows a +1 bonus to combat.

I take the knife and attack with my army! The tables have turned! hopefully

2: It is an inglorious defeat as you lose 18 hitpoints.

I restore the temple to it's former glory

19: You clear out the overgrowth, tidy up the altar and rebuild the column.

find merciary knock him out with my coconut pick up the coconut and heal the capybara.

2: He catches it and wings it back at you for 10 damage.

I escape into my base and FIRE!

10: You miss.

in. as my first move i grow supercorn that never spoils

17: You harvest a bumper crop.

With my new apparently insane-o language, I discover THE TRUTH.

17: YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH.

I have them glass the trees and him too.

20: The forest is flattened.