Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[!!!!!]

I work for the medical school and pay off the debt get a better job and gain a bonus that gives me a + to medical actions

 

[remake20]

Where's my house?!?! (Hopefully the GM will edit the stats post and give me my house)

 

[landlubber]

I bilge and bilge and bilge the water out.

 

[kill fire]

I send a few gangsters on a mission to collect weapons.

 

[Abaddon]

I become gods second in command.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I go and find a club.

 

[civplayah]

An ape??? I'll enslave the ape!

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I use my cleats to attempt to run on water.

Where's my house?!?!

(It's a bit too big to fit in your inventory. )

7 (10): You may be good, but you're not that good.

I receive my replies.

17: You receive forms from everyone you applied to.

I cool off the Ultimate Weapon.

1: SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!
ROLL TO DODGE!
18: You tear off one of the side panels to vent the heat seconds before a critical failure, saving the device from permanent damage.

I sacrifice Husky to the G0d of luck.

18 (16): You restore equilibrium.

I get something to ease my rage to manageable levels.

6: You're not angry.

I work for the medical school and pay off the debt get a better job and gain a bonus that gives me a + to medical actions

17: You're back in black and through experience gain a +1 bonus to field medic-type actions.

I bilge and bilge and bilge the water out.

15: Your feet are dry once more.

I send a few gangsters on a mission to collect weapons.

15: They rustle up some military-grade firearms.

I become gods second in command.

1: God laughs at your vanity and smites you for 40 damage.

I go and find a club.

19: You pick up a sturdy cricket bat. With spikes.

An ape??? I'll enslave the ape!

1: The ape doesn't take too kindly to this infringement on hominid rights, placing you in a headlock for 12 damage while summoning other apes to "re-educate" you.

 

[merciary]

Do the replies mean acceptance or do I have to read them?

 

[Seon]

I use the hammer and nails to repair myself.

 

[landlubber]

I sail towards the ship.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Do the replies mean acceptance or do I have to read them?

Well, the letters aren't opened yet.

 

[merciary]

Well in that case I open my replies.

 

[kill fire]

Next, I send them to get some parts to upgrade the HQ.

 

[Double A]

I fire at the guy who I was previously trying to kill and got into an "argument" about the effects of a STINGER missile on a Seraph space fighter.

 

[choxorn]

That was kill fire/KFC.

 

[Abaddon]

I swallow what I was choking on. It gives me health.

 

[remake20]

I invent a AI system that I can attach to my gun to have it fire at anyone trying to break into my house.

 

[!!!!!]

i heal abaddon if he will be my ally but if he stops choking for his turn I heal myself with field-medicine

 

[GenMarshall]

I find a Wunderwaffe DG-2 in a box