Roll to Dodge: Mall Madness Redux
- Thread starter Omega124
- Start date
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I grab the coolest katana and turn it into superior Japanese steel folded one thousand times with the power of my sheer will.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,873
I scream "EXSU-CALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR!!!" and shoot a golden laser beam out Excalibur at the Zeppelin as soon as it comes into range.
gay_Aleks
from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!
Get the hell out of here! Then find a store selling Stimpaks.
KaiserElectric
Total Freakin Besties
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2007
- Messages
- 3,461
I disarm Jack Thompson with my epic CQC skills and take his gun!
Omega124
Challenging Fate
15: You grab an ammo box for .30 Springfield, dump the ammo, and staple the cardboard to your stomach. You not only stopped the bleeding, but also gain a box's worth of .30 Springfield
19: You grab your secretary, him blushing all the way, and take him to the elevator for "fun times". There, your secretary pledges his eternal love for you, making you feel validated and vindicated. +1 to all rolls while he is still alive
5: You momentairly break free of the chains, but they aggresively reattach themselves across both your legs, immobolizing you! D:
Meanwhile, the store gets more aggresive, and flings a horseshoe at you!
ROLL TO DODGE!
16: The horseshoe lands passively next to you. You pick it up and add it to your inventory
13: Your attempt to communicate with the store momentairly confuses it. A tank with a machine gun sprays "LEAVE NOW OR BE KILLED" in bulletholes.
8: No c:
11 (14): You launch a giant laser beam out of your sword, and it marks true against the Zeppelin. It is damaged, but still stronger. You gather that this thing is tanky
The Zeppelin, being attacked, fires its cannons back at NC
ROLL TO DODGE!
8 (10): A missed shot knicks sharpnel in you for -2 damage, but otherwise you're fine
13: You successfully force the door open. Cola flows out of the store as you are finally allowed to breath. Good going!
(As you had to roll to leave, the store order is disregarded)
17: Using your CQC, you successfully grab hold of Thompson's arm, strike his back and disarm him. He momentarily flinches, before grabbing a giant machete and charging at you
ROLL TO DODGE!
3: He stabs heartingly in your shooting arm, nastily hitting you for -11 HP and throwing off your ability to aim (-2 to shooting until healed)
---
The Millenium Zeppelin arrives over the mall. Nazi Vampires on jetpacks fly out of the floating fortress, smashing into the skylight and dispersing into the mall. They spare no one in their swarm
EVERYONE, ROLL TO DODGE!
SK
(8) 9: A vampire breaks into the elevator and bits you for -7 HP. Yet, you manage preventing him from doing far worse to the elevator itself...
Kaiser
16: You pistol-whip a vampire that tries to approach you, knocking him into Jack Thompson. The lawyer is able to fight him off, but suffers numerous gashes to show
Tolni
8: Vampires see you gasping for air, and as a game, shoot into your mouth for -8 damage. Meanies
Seon:
11: Perhaps in pact with the Leprechauns, the vampires ignore the jewerly store entirely
Alied:
12: Wild blasts from the angel's nailguns (more likely aimed at you than them) discourage any vampires from getting close enough to you
Wouter:
16: You pick up an M1 Garand, load one of your .30 Springfield, and blast a vampire in the face. He goes down, and you twirl your new rifle.
Terra:
20: A vampire goes to attack you, but decides to stop short.
"I refuse to attack a fellow daughter of Cain"
Almost immediately, your canine teeth grow exponentially as you realize your vampiric powers! Also, the other nazi vampires will ignore you for the rest of the event
Ninjacow:
13: The vampires seem too busy to rush into the mall to divert any attention to you. You are unmolested.
Joan:
8: A passing vampire successfully takes a potshot against you for -8 damage.
Magvine:
12: Fire from the tanks dissuade any vampires from sticking too closely near you to attack
Rick:
20: This Happens to any Nazi Vampires that approaches Rick
Vampires quickly learn not to give it to him.
Angel:
11: None approach the Angel, along with alied, due to her blind shooting
Jack Thompson:
5: Jack Thompson screams as more vampires maul him, turning him into a gory mess as he is consumed by them
RIP
Secretary:
12: He cutely grabs SK as the judge delivers his verdict on the biting vampire
---
Terra and Alied are now considered AWOL. -10 HP per turn until they show up again
Also reminder that I can't update over the weekend. Enjoy your break. Sign ups will also close starting next update
Civ'ed
I ain't gotta explain a thing
This is a WW2 store.
Get this baby working.
Get this baby working.
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I stab de madafakin' vampire with my fine imitation katana.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,873
I use strike air to jump onto the Zeppelin and attack it at CLOSE RANGE!?!?!?
Seon
Not An Evil Liar
I crawl to the jewelry store stand to find some wnti magic charms. Maybe that'll get this chains off.
KaiserElectric
Total Freakin Besties
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2007
- Messages
- 3,461
I utilize the greatest of all stealth techniques and hide from the vampires with a cardboard box.
Terran Empress
Hornet
I Activate the Meeseeks box.
"Mr Meeseeks, find me a superweapon"
"Mr Meeseeks, find me a superweapon"
gay_Aleks
from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!
We need to find drugs. Find a subsidiary of Med-Tek and go looking for something to heal the pain. Or, at least, dull it.
SouthernKing
crickety cricket
I have tea and biscuits with the cute secretary
Omega124
Challenging Fate
K.
Alied is mauled to death by nazi vampires kthnxbai
15: You do indeed find a working Sherman, and commondeer it. Unfortunately, as this tank was intended to be used by an entire crew, you can only move or attack while in the tank. You must already be in the location of your desired enemy. But have fun I guess.
12: It's a plastic sword; its not going to stab. But you do bludgeon him away, so you got that going for you, and that's nice.
3: As you failed to take the store's warning to leave into aqccount, it decides to upgrade to a level 1 security threat. Every tank in the room starts to turn on, and point their cannons at you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
8: You get pounded for -11 damage. Ouchies!
14 (19): Feeling more of Saber's blessing, you use the searchlight to determine a structural weakness of the Zeppelin. With one clean slice, you knock the base portion of the Zeppelin off the blimp portion, causing the latter to crash into the mall
Those in the Lobby, ROLL TO DODGE!
Tolni
4: You get crushed for 23 damage, and you suffer from a concussion (your next order is disregarded)
Rick
5: His swoleness gets hit for [REDACTED], and he suffers from a dislocated shoulder, which effects his ability to punch things (-1 unarmed melee)
Vampire Horde
2: They crushed. To death. RIP.
A mini horde still exists near Lec in Jack Thompson's office, along with one at the elevator, but Millennium is no more.
---
The Zeppelin drifts towards downtown, and collides into the highrises, causing untold amount of death and destruction. But yay the mall is saved? You monster.
20: You crawl towards the most distinctive pice of jewelery in the store: a crown made entirely of emerald. It is clearly in the open, and has no price tag, which makes this super suspicious. You don the Emerald Crown.
Suddenly, the store stops attacking. A bunch of leprechauns enter the store
"You can see the Emerald Crown!" one leprechaun exclaims
Another one cheers, "You must be the chosen one, the savior of Leprechauns!"
The little Irish fairies pronounce you as their new king, and willingly pledge their services to help you as you need be. As the new king of the Leprechauns, you also obviously gain control of the store as well.
The chains also unbound you btw
10: You put a box over you. The vampires are not impressed
ROLL TO DODGE!
8: They start shooting the box, hitting you for -9 damage.
17: "Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan do!"
Mr. Meseeks runs off, and returns with a Golden Gun. Unfortunately, there is only one golden bullet to come with it, but you come with the power to instantly kill one person a la Golden Eye, if you don't miss that is. He then poofs out of existence, free from his eternal pain.
Elsewhere, Megan is crying over how lucky Terra has been in this game. Why have you forsaken me, D1C3 G0DS, why? ;_;
AUTO FAIL: You are Concussed!
3 (4): You find Ahika's Green Tea, a nice quaint Japanese tea shop which serves complimentary sushi with its green tea. Not necessarily authentic, but hey sushi>biscuits anyways
1 (2): A pot of green tea starts flying, and aggressively is poured onto you!
ROLL TO DODGE!
SK
16 (17): Not only do you completely dodge the hail of scalding tea, you manage to jump on the counter and munch on some sushi, healing you for 5 damage
Secretary:
11: He's fine too
---
The Lone Vampire follows after SK, and attempts to attack him at Ahika's Green Tea. As the last Vampire left, the Law of the Conversation of Ninjistu stipulates he becomes boss level NPC rather than a random encounter.
8 (9): SK gets munched on himself for 9 damage, leaving a net -4 this turn
This of course means the security also attacks the vampire as well!
7: The Vampire gets tea poured onto his face, which does scald him a bit, but c'mon, he's a vampire.
The Angel is no longer blinded
NO MORE SIGN UPS ACCEPTED NOW.
Civ'ed
I ain't gotta explain a thing
Magically conjure an american WW2 tank crew.
(OOC: HITLER DIES AT THE END)
(OOC: HITLER DIES AT THE END)
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I go into an alchemist's to turn my katana into steel there.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,873
Now that the vampire blimp is destroyed and the crisis is averted, I attempt to find a store that sells Saber figurines.
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