Round 1
James Black Vs. Zachariah Anderson.
"What in the name of the Lord in heaven..."
I quickly rolled out of the cave and felt for my knife. Good, I've survived I thought as I tried to remember what just happened. Dang my head is throbbing! I sat back down as I remember going to the cafeteria. Bertie was showing me his Applejack Gin.
I remember the blinding flash of light. Yes, they sent us here to this cave. Berties still turned off. I pull his tail and wait a bit.
I carried him as I walked out the cave. I quickly scanned the area, and made sure I wasnt affected by something stupid like vertigo or something. Then I turned the corner and
Oh
Oh my.
I just wandered into a deeper circle of hell. I mean, there is actual LAVA right there!
A screen (Holoscreen, as Bertie helpfully supplied) appeared. Welcome to the first round! Defeat your opponent and advance through the tournament. Good luck with James Black! Holoscreen brought to you by Aperture Science, doing what we must because we can since 1956!.
So
only one man will advance this circle of hell then. Wonder who James Black is. I ask Bertie, and he said, Hes the pirate, armed with a plasma rifle and a stun blade, and he wont hesitate to kill.
Er
then only one man will survive if he wins.
Bloody Hell.
Cautiously, I walked to the edge of the cliff and looked down. Below our chamber the cliff widens out again before reaching us. Looking at the dim hole above us, it seems that there are also several more such chambers before the sky pierced the uppermost one. The sun had shone directly down the hole when I woke up, but it slowly left, leaving my chamber dark, except for the dull red glow of the magma.
I backed up to the wall, letting my scruffy overcoat camouflage me into the dank walls of the volcano. Bertie was inside of my coat, and both of us scanned the walls of the volcano, looking for the silver-haired Pirate. The chamber was nothing special, although we both saw spiral grooves around its edges. I guess hes not here I whispered to Bertie.
Just then, a Plasma bolt streaked down from the upper chamber, and splashed into the cave I came from.
More poured out from the chamber above, and as I dodged I could see a shock of silver hair and a face so clean and white that he probably never stayed out in actual sunlight for any time. I jumped behind a large rock and waited for the shooting to subside.
The grooves are stairs whispered Bertie. I nodded. Distract him I whispered. I gripped my knife, freshly polished and cleaned. The gunfire is slowing down.
Now! I cried. Bertie dashed for the cave from whence we came while the more Plasma hosed down like a stream of light. I quickly dashed to the start of the stair and started to climb. A rock wall blocked our views of each other, but through a gap I saw that Bertie had survived.
I reached the top of the stairs, and was just about to climb out when a knife appeared. The stun blade whirred as a pearl-white hand grabbed me by the overcoat and dragged me out. There was James Black, the shining white pirate.
I like your games he whispered, you surprised me a little
but no matter. You are going to play my game now!
And what is that, may I ask I retorted, I slowly bent my knees and prepared my knife, trying to ignore the stunblade just above my head
if I can hit it out of the way
the plank, perfect I hear him finish. What plank? I have no clue.
He picked me up by knife point and led me to a plank hanging over the edge of the cliff. Oh, that plant. He gave a smile, twisting his fair face into a grimace. Just walk it, Zach, and itll be all over soon. Below, the blood of hell roiled and bubbled. It is slowly rising.
He walked me to the edge of the plank, still holding me by knife point. Then we stood at the edge. Quietly, I hear his leather jacket whose as he brought the knife back, to plunge into me and toss me into the lava.
I quickly dodged sideways off the plank, jumping onto the cliff nearly four meters to the side and slightly below me. Barely catching the rock, I caught my breath and looked back.
James had shown extraordinary balance, and didnt fall off as I had hoped. He walked over to his plasma rifle. If you wont play my game, then Ill have to kill you the normal way, then he said, Then, he stopped.
Bertie, bless him, was holding the rifle. Youre not a contestant are you? spoke the Pirate. He advanced on the metallic rabbit, You cant defeat me, Zach has to. He suddenly charged at the bunny and punted it into the wall. It gave a pitiful whirr and turned off.
Damned renegade robots he muttered as he picked up his rifle. What he didnt notice is that I had climbed up the cliff and was advancing towards him. The lava below me had engulfed half of the lower level. I can use my plasma rifle as I wish
to kill sneaks! He suddenly turned towards me and pressed his trigger
nothing happened. Bertie must have turned it off! I jumped at him and he barely blocked my blade of steel with his stun blade.
And so we fought, knife to knife. The Worchester Washingroom and the Edinburg Bar attack didnt work against his experience, but I slowly pushed him back, using my overcoat to catch his blade as often as with my own blade.
Then, we both tried to nutcracker each other at the same time, and pushed each other onto our backs. He fell with a thud against the wall, ripping his leather shirt. Damn! he cussed. I scrapped against the floor , and cut the back of my head.
Warily, I stood back up. The pirate was still blaspheming into the air, except with more exotic flavors of which I cannot understand, Damn the Inquisition and the Imperium! Damn the Quin!. He looked at me with his light grey eyes, no longer joking or kidding, You will die for ripping my vintage leather suit! And I will dip you inch by inch into the lava! He charged at me, his stun blade leading the attack.
I blocked the clumsy block and kicked him in the chest. He stumbed backwards again, but this time the fight seemed to be knocked out of him.
He fell.
I picked up his stun knife and advanced on his figure. He squired and kicked at me, but I blocked it with my own boot, and then smashed the pommel of my knife on his knee, it shattered.
James shouted in pain, but before he can dirty the air anymore I stabbed the stun blade into his destroyed knee. He twitched, then froze up.
The Lava is rising at 8 meters per hour, at this rate you will be burned in 97.5 mintues. I told him, If you can get out, or get help in that time, more power to you.
Ripping out the stunblade, I stabbed my knife through his other knee into the ground. Then, I picked up Bertie and started to slowly climb up the grooved staircases, with his limp body in one hand and the pirate weapon in the other.
The Lava rose higher. I can see a small swarm of robots descend the chambers, but I didnt see them leave.
I reached the top, Judge Alena was in a Gyrocopter. She frowned and said, He isnt dead.
I answered, He is as good as dead.
She accepted my answer and said, Jump on.
This I did. As the Gyrocopter flew back towards the Carnivale Hotel, I managed to reboot Bertie. The first thing he said was, Its a Helicopter, not a Gyrocopter
The second thing he said was, Now Im actually flying.
Hes as good as dead, should I have finished him off?
I though of the hatred in his eyes, for ripping his jacket.
Nah. This world is Hell anyway, how can it get worse?