TerraNES2: SilliNES Part 1: The Invisible Hand is In Your Pants

[Seon]

The Otterman Orders

Spoiler STATS :

Enemies and Neighbors of the Otterman State shall be described in various different "Heathen Levels."

Light Blue Dudes: The Holy Kingdom of Euphrates
Heathen Level: UNFORGIVABLE.

Every Week, a member of the Priesthood of the Otter Gods must sanctify the borders between our nation so that the UNHOLY ONES may not corrupt our citizenry. A sheep and a goat is to be sacrificed every year in order to please the Otter Gods to defend us from these fools.

These DEMONS dare claim alignment and DIVINE MANDATE HANDED DOWN FROM THE CELESTIAL SPHERES without acknowledging the ALL MIGHTY POWERS OF THE OTTER GODS. Instead, they swear their allegiance to the Holy Flame, a celestial phenomenon that appears regularly every 47th year in the western skies THE GREAT EJACULATION OF THE DEMON GOD FELLIMANUS THE CLAM FROM HIS-*record scratched*

Periodically, several demons with the face of men crosses the Tigris claiming to come in peace but THIS IS A LIE A LIE A LIE A LIE A LIE. The following is a list of incursions by the Demons of Euphrates.

128 demons carrying 50 sheep, 50 chickens, 7 heads of ox, and a dozen horses. 60 of them took the guise of men, 40 of them women, and 28 of them children. They claimed to come in peace, to join our nation and establish a small town after being evicted from their homes by the cruel DEMON king of Euphrates, but we all knew better. Demons executed by drowning in the Tigris River as sacrifice for the Otter Gods. Goods confiscated.


A corpulent demon with a small army and several ships full of gold and slaves for the purpose of trade. There are tales that the High Priesthood indulged in carnal pleasures with the slaves BUT THIS IS HERESY THAT MUST BE PURGED. Demon 'entertained' by High Priesthood while Ottan declared a call to arms. Army of demons in bronze slaughtered by Holy Warriors. Corpulent Demon drowned in Tigris. Slaves liberated and subsequently drowned in Tigris River. Goods confiscated.

A well-dressed demon claiming to be a statesman from the Euphrates Kingdom, in a mission that we believe to be asking us to stop drowning their people MOCK THE OTTER GODS, OUR SACRED MONARCH THE OTTAN, AND OUR CULTURE. Skinned alive and then subsequently drowned in Tigris River.


The Purple Dudes: Republic of Antioch

Heathen Level: Minor.

These people's capital city is located in a city that they call Antioch, which rivals even out capital city of Ottdad in terms of splendor. They have shown much openness when it comes to accepting our priesthood among their midst and their government has not claimed any divine mandate, leading us to conclude that these people may be turned away from the darkness of their ways and eventually accept the Ottan as the Supreme Ruler of the lands.

The Priesthood stationed in the Republic mentions that the people sometimes indulge in trade with their southern EUPHRATES DEMONS but this is because these people are misguided without the holy wisdom of the Ottan and is thus ultimately forgivable of their sins.




Government Structure: Despotism controlling many vassals over a large territory. May be inefficient with a bad monarch.
Government: Religious Monarchy.
Capital: Ottdad, at the mouth of the Tigris River.
Economy: Weak, based mostly on animal husbandry and farming with little in trade.
Tech Development: Early Composite Bows. Iron Working. Hunting. Large-Scale Agriculture. Animal Husbandry. Organized Religion. Horsemanship.
Culture: Thrivin- ASCENDENT.
Religion: The Cult of the Otter Gods.
Army: Very strong army with Cataphracts, Horse Archers, Archers, and weak infantry.
Navy: Small but well-trained fleet operating in the Arabian sea, with merchant vessels being levied in time of war. A blockade of ships in Tigris.


Orders: I don't know who the hell the EUPHRATES DEMON thinks he is, but there is only room for ONE BLUEISH COLORED NATION IN THIS SECTOR OF THE WORLD. GATHER THE NAVY! GATHER THE NAVY RIGHT NOW! We are taking control of the river where the Euphrates meets the Tigris and invading from there. It is the time for a great holy war. Horse archers and light lancers are to operate hit-and-run operations against the enemy forces by destroying isolated regiments and raiding weakly defended villages in hopes that this will knock out a sizeable portion of the enemy army before their levies regroup... and also forcing the enemy to defend more of their territories or suffer economic devastation.

Cataphracts and the infantries are to slowly maneuver to their cities and lay siege. Siege warfare isn't our forte, but OTTER GODS ARE ON OUR SIDE. We have plenty of infantry that we can use to break through with a force of arms... and cataphracts can clean up the rest. If they surrender, the population is to be considered not a demon and welcomed into the empire. If they do not, and the city is taken by military force, than the population is to be enslaved or slaughtered.

A few of the army is to be dedicated to carrying goods back across the Tigris River into our Empire's treasury to serve as soldiers' pension and such.

Send the priesthood to the Republic to assure them that the Otterman Empire only means peaceful intentions, as we are peaceful people who always prefer peaceful means of resolving a problem. Oh, and proselytyze.

 

[Terrance888]

Seon might win best favorite orders this turn.

 

[Terrance888]

^v^v<><>abab start select.

Read as: signup coming within 24 hours maximum.

Not sure if I'm on the map or not?

No signup. No map.

 

[SamSniped]

Eh, dropping, sorry

 

[Terrance888]

Can't handle the fire, eh?

ORDERS DUE IN FIVE HOURS. D:

 

[christos200]

ORDERS:

STATS:

Greece/Christos200
Stability: Stable
Government: Absolute Monarchy
Army: 190,000 Hoplites
Navy: 100 Tririmes

Invade the Barbarians in the North with 100,000 Hoplites.

(More later)

 

[Ailedhoo]

The orders and stats are as such...

Spoiler :

Stats

Government: Clan Despot; the Clan Warlord Onnor ny Niart is the boss.

Capital: Laksey (Laxey).

Culture: Aase (basically if Manx had even more warrior aspects of the Norse but more in appearance and nature of the Celts... o and it developed to such before the Vikings came!)

Religion: pagan, with especial note for the general populace worshipping the sea god Manannán while the Clan inspire themselves around a ghost dog.

Reputation: fearsome but honourable.

Economy: limited due to isolative location and for "raider" reputation. We are going to need to raid to get additional goods and to try to gain tribute. The local economy is primly focused on food production and craftsmanship. We are going to need to establish some short of network to get us connected to a decent trade network if we are going to establish our power.

Military: decent enough for raiding. Axes are plenty among the warriors, although metal armour is limited to the odd armband for the elite warriors, leather clothing providing more the protection. Fearsome in moral and quick.

Navy: decent enough for raiding, though more for speed transportation than direct sea battles. Will lose in a frontal battle: hence must rely on speed and avoidance.



Orders

The Clan must enhance its raider and trading range. We must establish a trade post on the English coast. This will be known as Lerphoyll (Liverpool: also where it be located) and will be governed by Battle Lord Yuan dy Delleyder. The settlers will be 500 in total in number and will hopefully growth via migration and from reproduction over the years. The make up of the settlers will be as followed; 50 professional warriors (including Yuan), 50 fishermen, 50 hunters, 50 farmer, 100 traders, 50 craftsmen, 25 lumberjacks, 25 surface miners (they will be hunting for any metals about), 30 boats makers, 60 sailors and finally 10 priests. In the end we hope for a grand trade settlement that will grow. It will also allow our traders to venture for a trade network we can use.

Onnor ny Niart wants her raiders to bring terror to Ulster. Commission a raider party of 563 warriors, leaded by 3 battle lords: Ae dy Poleen, Colyn dy Atçhim and Urman ny Trean. They are raid fast and to bring as many loot and captives as possible. The captives will be sold back for tribute or put to work as thralls depending on how much the raided will pay us when we set a messenger ship after the raid. Be warned of the Scryssey Clagh Eggys (Stone Growl Tribe) who may attempt to protect any local settlements. Be quick; if mass forces come retreat but if reasonable in size then we will leave Ulster with dead Stone Growl warriors on the shore. Remember to raze buildings but do not go mindlessly slaying all the settlers; we want to the settlement to remain enough so it can grow back for more raids in the near future.

Onnor ny Niart wants to depth more into mining. There should be minerals near the Clan's stronghold at Laksey. Order 500 labourers (but not thralls) to go and search out for metals that we can establish some proper mining. Once we establish some foundation then sent in enough thralls (how many will be the decision on what the miners feel will be needed) to dig a tunnel: at way should live be lost in the process it will not be the free born and skilled labourers that will be lost.

We will to enhance our population. Order efforts to establish agriculture in the north of the isle with Skylley Maayl (Kirk Michael) providing a central trade network for the farming. Remember: we must develop more farms!

 

[Terrance888]

Orders due in Three Hours!

 

[Lord of Elves]

Spoiler :

Culture Name: Astacean League
Government: Confederation of merchant republics
Stability: Mostly stable
Army: Comprised primarily of levied militiamen, with a smattering of professional soldiers culled from the retinues of powerful merchant families and clans. Mostly drilled in the use of spears and broadswords as light infantry, though there are some horsemen.
Navy: Significant in size, though mostly under the leadership of various merchant families.
Possessions or Territories: Control of the Balearic Isles and several ports and settlements along the Catalan coast, in Sardinia and Corsica, as well as in Algeria and Morocco.
Religion: Polytheism based around nature elements and human concepts i.e war, fertility, etc.
Culture Color: Dark brown

In order to achieve full control of the coast, the merchants of the league authorized the creation of an Army of the League whose loyalties were to the Astacean League itself rather than to any particular noble family. Various conflicts with neighboring city-states lead to expansion of the League at home, as expansion abroad continued thanks to the efforts of the League's various houses. Settlements and ports were established along the [Algerian Coast] of the Great Sea and on the isles of Atcheria [Corsica and Sardinia]. The centralization undertaken by the League was ultimately thwarted, after the establishment of further overseas territories, the houses regained what power and control they had lost within the League.

The League's neighbors consist of the Mareum in [the Basque country] who are a loose confederation of tribes united by a shared culture and religion, whose leaders are elected by a council of tribal elders and are said to speak for the will of the gods,

and the Polresi in [Andalusia] who are a recently-established kingdom, carved out of various city-states along the [coast of Gibraltar] as well as tribal societies.

 

[SmithRobloxian]

Also, here's a bit more for Ostrian Republic:

Government Structure: Elections are to be hosted when the Volks-König dies or quits his role. Only the rich, the famous and the town/city nobles can vote for the Volks-König, but the poor can vote for which nobles should rule for their town/city. Bribes by the different parties are handed out to convince the nobles of the Republic to vote for them.
Government: Republican.
Capital: Stadt des Palastes, where modern-day Hamburg is.
Economy: Poor, but better than the neighboring barbarians and city-states.
Tech Development: Early Composite Bows. Bronze Working. Hunting. Large-Scale Agriculture. Animal Husbandry. Early Catapults. Horsemanship.
Culture: Failing, due to the republic's stance on swords and shields, not pots and paintings.
Religion: Mainly pagen, but the odd few worship a horned god called Thur, who is said to be the one who rules the sea and the skies.
Army: Rebuilding after the war, with focus on the new 'catapults'. There are three Truppe (The equivalent of a Roman Legion) currently at work, the first guarding Stadt des Palastes, the second cleaning up the remains of the Despot's forces, and the third conquering territory for the Republic. Each Truppe consist of 100 groups of 100 Schwertschild (Men who are equipped with a simple sword and buckler), 100 groups of 100 Speerwand (Men who are armed with simple spears), 50 groups of 100 Bogenschütze (Men who are equipped with bows), 10 groups of 100 Schlachtross (Heavily armored mens who ride heavily armored horses, armed with a tougher spear than the Speerwand) and a group of 50 Führerschild (Elite warroriers who are assigned to defend the general). The first Truppe is the only one that will gain the catapults, which will be used in the defense of the Capital.
Navy: Non-existent, but the occasional mercenary longboat can be seen flying the Ostrian colours.

 

[Tycho]

Spoiler :

Name: Stahfla
Capital: Cold Harbor (in the crook between Norway/Sweden)
Government: Absolute Monarchy/Feudalism
Economy: Stagnant
Culture: Jingoistic
Religion: Paganist
Army: 5000 Raiders, 2500 militiamen
Navy: 77 longships

It was in this time that the Stahflan raiders began to pillage the coast of the Jutland and further south, while at home crashing through the forests and the coastline to the southeast to conquer and pillage the barbarians that lived there. With outposts in the Jutland set up and expansion into both the Jutland and further along the frozen coastline of these northern lands, settling in many places and continuing their acts of aggression on those that they deemed unfit to survive in the face of their power and their conquest. As such, Stahfla is on the rise, and may soon plan more insidious advances south, north, and west.

 

[Terrance888]

ORDERS DUE IN ONE HOUR.

Orders I have
Gemmy
Loe
Bair
Khan
Seon
christos
Ail
Smith
Tycho

Orders I don't have
spaceman
mr.rp

Orders I don't need to have (Map Issues)
ork
talonschild
the loser

 

[ork75]

You guys set a high bar......

Spoiler :

Name: Kansan Tuhat Saarta
Capital: Suuri Kaupunki Saurella (big island between Finland and Sweden)
Government: Tribal Republic
Economy: Trade based; stagnant
Culture: varied, universal ideas of representation, common religious elements (shamanistic; human sacrifice)
Army:
Standing army:

Spoiler :

3000 heavy infantry (armed with axes and shields, some spearmen, all armored), 1000 archers

Possible levies:

Spoiler :

From the islands and the coasts: 3000 heavy infantry, 6000 light infantry (i.e. shield and sword/axe/spear, but little to no armor), 4000 archers; From the mainland (forests and swamps): 5000 archers, 7000 skirmishers (javelineers, perhaps with shields and light armor), 2000 light infantry

Navy:
Standing:
30 Galleasses with rams
15 Longboats
Levy:
5 Galleasses
60 Longboats
30 sailing vessels
5 Galleys

Levies are not called. 15 of the standing galleasses are ordered to explore to the southwest. Trade is encouraged with any group they meet.

EDIT: Sorry terrance, just saw what you posted above :derp:.

 

[spaceman98]

Around the city of Ghaggar and its three tributaries, a variety of small states exist. These nations were built by the Vedics, on the ruins of other sacked cities. Most of them now follow the old Vedic religion which believes in the holy cleansing power of fire, a symbol of a true and glorious god which they call only The Light One, who wages eternal warfare against an evil counterpart, The Dark One is as warlike as the tribesmen themselves as it glorifies and justifies pyromania. The people of these cities write in a language based on The Script debased version of The Script, and are ruled by the local vassals of Vedic kings.

However, some of these now settled folk have converted to the true way of the cycles, and have joined with us in a trading confederation, sanctified by the holy river. This is a list of these nations:

South of us is the Vedic Confederation of Lothal. Lothal was a great port, a center of trade, scholarship and piracy (OOC: the Dark Pink). The Vedic Arayans sacked it however, prompting its many vassals and tributaries to pay tribute to the Vedic king, and hence save themselves from destruction (OOC: The light pink). The city of Lothal itself has a temple to the Light One The Great Pyre God and now trades with other Vedic kings further South, but these tributaries have retained the True Faith of the Cycles, and we hope one day to free them from their bondage.

East of us (the Green) is the city of Savalda (OOC: from Savalda culture, here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daimabad). The people who inhabited this land, ruled by Vedic masters and worshiping the Vedic Fire God, have shown extreme disrespect for the Great Cycles, for they have sought to build their foul temples upon the holy ruins of the Mohenjo Daro. While our mission in these ruins is to learn from them and preserve, they seek to build here as a mark of their deity's power. We shall allow no such desecration of the Great City! (OOC: The two nations have a long running dispute over the site of the once mighty capital and its valuable resources, including the library, with many ancient texts, parts of which still stand and thus can be utilized. However, because they both have considerable populations of the other's religion, they are usually content to snap at each other and wage proxy wars. In fact, while Ghaggar uses mostly religious rhetoric, it cannot yet persecute the Vedic faith since parts of its own army follow it. So instead it opts for conversion and the obtainment of tribal allies.)

Far to the North is the kingdom of Taxila (dark Green). They have a faith akin to our own, but more primitive, for they did not receive the enlightenment of The Script and the Calendar. This city was built by Vedic tribesmen who sought enlightenment in the river faith and wished to abandon their old ways. They are our trading partner and will soon receive the whole great truth of the Holy Waters. They are a shining example that shows that the Vedics, though made of Sand and not the Mud which birthed us, can still follow the True Ways and abandon the chaos that darkens them. They have much to offer in terms of trade, such as valuable gemstones, but need much also, such as writings and cattle. Hence our alliance with them, sanctified by the Holy Water is eternal.

Far to the west, rumors say that the chaos still reigns supreme. There, the deviant beasts who first rebelled against the Waters are said to govern still upon massive mountains in a great desert. We know nothing for sure, for few come from there, but supposedly there are Giant Rats (OOC: over many years of tribal rumor and exchange otter steadily became Giant Rat. We have never been there ourselves and know of the Otterman empire only through these exaggerated tribal tales) there, who rule a kingdom lead by a bloodthirsty demon Akhatan (OOC: Ottan). This shows that the work with which both we and the vedics were once entrusted, to impose righteous hegemony over the world is not yet done. Perhaps one day the River and the Fire God can come together against this, much darker enemy, who we long thought to be a thing of the dark bygone past?

OOC: This map (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:CiviltàValleIndoMappa.png) shows Mehgrah. Ghaggar is slightly south of Mohenjo Daro, and Hakra is up the river from Ghaggar.
___________________________________________
Orders: convert tribes around us, and around the Light Green nation of Savalda so that they will side with us over their neighbor. Trade with Taxila, ignore Lothal for now.

 

[spaceman98]

The stats I posted last time remain valid.

 

[mrrandomplayer]

Stats:

Spoiler :

Name: Republic of Malta
Color: Orange (because I like orange!!!!!)
Location: Malta
Government: The people elect three rulers that co-rule for three years at a time. The rulers have near-unlimited power; pretty much the only thing that they are not allowed to change is reelection. The rulers can choose to split up roles amongst themselves (ie military, domestic, and foreign) or share all governmental duties.
Army: The army is not particularly out of the ordinary; it is relatively normal for the time, but much smaller than most (considering the only thing that they need to defend is Malta).
Navy: The Maltese navy consists of Triremes and War Galleys, as well as many other types of ships. The navy is larger than most, and their job is mostly to defend Malta from naval threats and to protect merchant ships by keeping the waters clear of pirates.
Economy: Much of the money Malta gets comes from customs fees from ships passing through on their way to other places. Fishing is also very prominent, as well as boatbuilding and entertainment. Bees are common on the island, so honey is a major export. Limestone is also a prominent export.
Religion: A pantheon, centered around the God of the Ocean.
Culture/Society: The island's capital (and only major) city, Valleta, is very urbanized for the time, and as a result, specialization is slowly starting to rise, as well as culture. Classical drama and theater (comedy, tragedy, and satire) are a popular form of entertainment, as well as music. These are very popular among visitors to the city, especially after a long voyage at sea.
Stability: There is a small, vocal group demanding government reform and checks on the leaders, but for the most part the country is Stable.

Orders:

Some exploration ships are sent out to explore the Mediterranean. Marta's two neighbors (both PCs) are the Ietan League and the Astacean League. Maltese merchants wish to commence trade with both nations.

Also, how does research work?

 

[Terrance888]

A) When you feel you should get a new technology, announce it (by story, bolded in orders, etc). Other players may challenge your announcement if they feel it is too OOC, advanced, etc. If your initial counter arguments are not convincing to them, they can ask me to make further judgement.

B) You ask me to consider a technology and give me some research. I'll introduce it when I feel the time is right. This decision can still be protested, but they'll be dealing with me instead of you. ON the other hand, you might not get it for many turns (then again, 3 turns a week so...)

Remember guys, I gave you guys lots of leniency in making your own stats, as long as you guys keep each other honest. .

EDIT: This basically goes for everything. You want a million soldiers? Try to convince everyone else you AREN'T powergaming. Early Gunpowder? Same. Ultra-stable empire? Same. Swimmng in Gold? Same. Cities of million men? Same.

EDITEDIT: I will, of course, single out obviously crazy ideas in the update and call them out as rumors/claims. If they aren't protested, then, I will keep them. Sometimes, 300 Spartans DID kill a (portion of a) Million Persians. :3

 

[Terrance888]

Deadline reached. Update begun.

 

[Seon]

Correction Terrance: 300 spartan and about a couple of thousand Greeks supported by 5000-6000 slave armies placed in an unbelievably strategic location held off he Persians.

 

[Terrance888]

Update So Far

Unfortunately, I've ran out of time. Damned curfew! Also, those names are going to kill me. >.>

Still have to update: Persian Border Regions, Mediterranean Cradle, North Seas Cradle.