texting?

[Smellincoffee]

I very rarely send text messages; usually, I only use one if I'm going on a trip and want to let someone know when I've arrived.

 

[Commodore]

I think of it this way: calling somebody is a very large demand on their time and their mental bandwidth. You're expecting them to drop everything and devote all their attention to you. This is very rarely justified if you're just exchanging simple information or making plans or the like.

It's pretty much only justified if you've got very urgent (I've been waiting outside for ten minutes, where are you?) or complex things to discuss (what are our plans for your mum's birthday?). Most of what you have to say, even to your friends and family, doesn't need to be immediately imposed on them in real time and can comfortably be relegated to low mental bandwidth, low time pressure media such as SMS.

Edit: also pretty much everyone has endless free texts these days

THANK YOU! I have been saying this to my real life friends and family for the longest time, but they still act like I am a terrible person for trying to rush them off the phone. Basically I tell everyone I know to either text me or talk to me in person unless it is an absolute emergency. That way, whether it is texting or in-person conversation, I don't have to drop everything and still continue what I was working on while you tell me what you need to tell me.

 

[Tarquelne]

Texting is invaluable to me, and I have a hard time understanding those who don't do it.

Eroding language skills.

sry, we'll uz smalR wrds.

 

[Zelig]

Texting is invaluable to me, and I have a hard time understanding those who don't do it.

There's a fair range of understanding of what "those who don't do it" might comprise.

If you refuse to send a "Running late, there in 20." text on principle, that just makes you kind of a dick.

OTOH, an expectation to carry out daily conversations via text isn't reasonable. If I'm working and not specifically expecting something urgent, my phone is on silent and email notifications on my PC are turned off; they're both too much of a distraction to being productive. If I'm out with people, my phone's probably on vibrate, but I'll check it when I go to the bathroom or whatever, I don't pull it out mid-convo to reply to texts.

 

[Commodore]

There's a fair range of understanding of what "those who don't do it" might comprise.

If you refuse to send a "Running late, there in 20." text on principle, that just makes you kind of a dick.

OTOH, an expectation to carry out daily conversations via text isn't reasonable. If I'm working and not specifically expecting something urgent, my phone is on silent and email notifications on my PC are turned off; they're both too much of a distraction to being productive. If I'm out with people, my phone's probably on vibrate, but I'll check it when I go to the bathroom or whatever, I don't pull it out mid-convo to reply to texts.

This sounds pretty close to my phone/email policy. Except I'm stricter about actual phone calls. If I receive a phone call while I am busy, I send it right to voicemail. If it's an emergency then it usually gets followed up with a text saying "call me, it's an emergency". At which point I promptly return the call.

 

[Grisu]

I think of it this way: calling somebody is a very large demand on their time and their mental bandwidth. You're expecting them to drop everything and devote all their attention to you. This is very rarely justified if you're just exchanging simple information or making plans or the like.

It's pretty much only justified if you've got very urgent (I've been waiting outside for ten minutes, where are you?) or complex things to discuss (what are our plans for your mum's birthday?). Most of what you have to say, even to your friends and family, doesn't need to be immediately imposed on them in real time and can comfortably be relegated to low mental bandwidth, low time pressure media such as SMS.

Edit: also pretty much everyone has endless free texts these days

exactly. on top of that I usually have my phone on silent when at work, so I wouldn't even hear it...then calling back to realize they're not hearing it...unnecessary hassle. Texting (or whatsapp/viber/skype/whatever) seems much more straightforward for simple things to settle (sorry, missed my train, will catch the next one; can you pick up some milk on your way home; you coming to floorball practice this evening or even can you call me back when you've got the time?)

as noted, it's not optimal for complex things (though personally, I prefer to do those in person and not over the phone either).

 

[El_Machinae]

Eroding language skills.

sry, we'll uz smalR wrds.

It's partially language degradation, but it's partially language creation. I see at least 3 words in your post that didn't exist 15 years ago!

 

[Zelig]

It's partially language degradation, but it's partially language creation. I see at least 3 words in your post that didn't exist 15 years ago!

Kind of irrelevant now with modern smartphone keyboards. (I.e. Not iOS.) I can swipe properly spelled words faster than an iOS user can thumb-tap abbreviated texts.

 

[El_Machinae]

Very true. Yet, those words were still created!

Isn't that gr8?

 

[Tarquelne]

Kind of irrelevant now with modern smartphone keyboards. (I.e. Not iOS.) I can swipe properly spelled words faster than an iOS user can thumb-tap abbreviated texts.

See! SEE!!!

I keep telling people the rats are steadily closing the tumb-gap, but no one listens.

You guys probably even thought I was joking.

 

[warpus]

What are your thoughts on texting?

If someone texts me expecting to have a conversation, they are going to have a bad time.

Texting is for the quick exchange of information or a quick question.. For example.. Say we're going camping tomorrow and somebody going in a different car needs to confirm if I'm bringing the burgers.. "Got the burgers?".. I'd respond with "Got em!"..

Or say I'm at work and I found out that the lawn guy is stopping by at home today. I'd text my roommate (who works from home): "lawn guy coming today at 2, keep the dog inside"

That's all that I use texting for and people who try to use it for more than that irritate me. They never get far with me. If you want to have a conversation call me or come see me. I hate typing on tiny keyboards, I'm only ever going to use it for quick messages.

 

[Harv]

Texting is for the quick exchange of information or a quick question.. For example.. Say we're going camping tomorrow and somebody going in a different car needs to confirm if I'm bringing the burgers.. "Got the burgers?".. I'd respond with "Got em!"..

This is much quicker than leaving voice messages.

 

[warpus]

This is much quicker than leaving voice messages.

The thing with voicemail is that I never check it. You have to log in, hit a bunch of buttons, then listen to the stupid voicemail.. then delete it. Looking at your phone and seeing a bunch of text is a lot quicker.

I'm a practical guy, but I do hate voicemail. Still, if someone calls me and I don't recognize the number, I let it go to voicemail.. if it's important enough, they will leave a message. I will check it 2 days later.

 

[El_Machinae]

I also rarely check voicemail, because of the annoyance value.

 

[Harv]

The thing with voicemail is that I never check it. You have to log in, hit a bunch of buttons, then listen to the stupid voicemail.. then delete it. Looking at your phone and seeing a bunch of text is a lot quicker.

I'm a practical guy, but I do hate voicemail. Still, if someone calls me and I don't recognize the number, I let it go to voicemail.. if it's important enough, they will leave a message. I will check it 2 days later.

This.

I have a friend who wants to chat about once a week, and he leaves voice messages. ". . . . Call me." One day I will have to explain it to him - That if he calls, then I will know he called because his number comes on display of missed calls. I really do not want to press a bunch of buttons in voice mail jail just to get a "just want to chat for 45 minutes" message. I know what the message is already.

I also rarely check voicemail, because of the annoyance value.

Crosspost.

 

[Zelig]

It's embarrassing that there's no widely accepted visual voicemail standard.

 

[Tarquelne]

I also rarely check voicemail, because of the annoyance value.

With voicemail you can call 30 min. later to tell someone, live, whatever message you left on voicemail. Voicemail is the best way to make even the most innocuous or needed communication annoying. That is of course in addition to taking a long time getting to the point when it's impossible for someone to hurry you along. Now that answering machines aren't as popular it's hard to fit that in elsewhere.

IMO the closest thing you can do with texting is text "Did you get my text?" the instant you get their response. It's OK, and with luck develops into a rather long and frustrating exchange about who missed what, but there's a lot more effort in getting the timing right.
(OTOH, you can send a text that just said "What?", which doesn't really work with voicemail.)

So, again, there are drawbacks to texting being less demanding.

It's embarrassing that there's no widely accepted visual voicemail standard.

Youtube? It's got all the kitten vids/gross vids that people would send you if there were an accepted standard, but you don't have to have the standard.

 

[Narz]

There's a fair range of understanding of what "those who don't do it" might comprise.

If you refuse to send a "Running late, there in 20." text on principle, that just makes you kind of a dick.

The real problem is that people assume because they have a phone & the other guy has a phone they can legitmately be 20 minutes late because they can send such a text. Back in the day, you made a commitment, you honored the commitment, you didn't around & flake at the last minute, warning or no warning. You knew the person would be out waiting for you @ the park & if you didn't show you're an so you better get there as close to on-time as possible.

Instant communication allows people to be way flakier & excuse it by "oh, sorry I had to cancel but I did text you!".

 

[Evie]

Mostly in the Arwon/Warpus school of thought. If I need to have a length conversation with someone (either for serious reasons for for emotional connection purposes), I'll do it by voice (or, in the case of serious conversation, chat can work). If all I need is to ask a question or communicate information, then a phone call would be wasted time and effort that requires me to focus on the call exclusively.

 

[CavLancer]

One of those strange technologies that I don't think anyone would've predicted 30 years ago. We now have the real-time video chat imagined in many tv shows & movies from the 80's & 90's available free to anyone with a recent laptop & the internet but it's not nearly as popular as the far less intimate texting.

Texting is great to communicate with people you really don't want to talk to, avoiding real conversations but perhaps creating an even lonelier society, leading to needier people who will eat up even more time with you when they finally get you on the phone.

I think texting has it's place. I really don't like long back & forth text conversations though. Just call or write an email.

Overall, I much prefer email to texting. I don't really miss phone conversations as I never liked chatting on the phone much anyway.

What are your thoughts on texting?

I don't do it but the wife does so if I need to contact someone, "meet us at Frankies" then sure, I'll do that. Texting is a phenomenon here, a lot of even poor people do it. Its a cultural sinkhole. Drivers wandering all over the road, not all are drunk. Women following their cell phones to their death as they step off a curb into traffic. Its a mess! The TV and aircon were supposedly the first two nails in the coffin of society but the cell phone is a spike. Facebook is the spike of all spikes. "I have 7348 friends." Oh yes?