The Very-Many-Questions-Not-Worth-Their-Own-Thread Thread XLII

[Kyriakos]

A question, how did people here react to the death of a parent?
I didn't expect to have so many dreams about my father. Obviously things have to be worked upon.

 

[Samson]

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[Kyriakos]

Thank you. Well, he was above the average age for staying alive anyway, mid 80s, so not much of a surprise.
I do have at least one very positive memory, though a lot of not positive ones. The dreams are a sign I have to rethink a lot of issues there (but that was nothing new; still, did not expect such a barrage of dreams).

 

[Farm Boy]

A question, how did people here react to the death of a parent?
I didn't expect to have so many dreams about my father. Obviously things have to be worked upon.

I'm sorry, K.

I have my parents yet. For loss in general, I have found myself simply undone. What is left came from what was before, but it is not the same man.

More dreams would be nice. If hard. The worst part is how often your loved one will be on your mind, but as a creation of it. Predictable. Rather than constantly surprising, like the real deal was. At least for me, the more real version sometimes comes, in dreams.

 

[Farm Boy]

Could the US have captured and examined that ballon if they wanted to?

What do you think the real reason they shot it down slightly off the coast was? It wasn't because they couldn't handle the risk of it landing over rural Montana. Was it, really? They probably got more information from watching it transmit than they anticipated being able to recover from its hardware.

 

[Samson]

What do you think the real reason they shot it down slightly off the coast was? It wasn't because they couldn't handle the risk of it landing over rural Montana. Was it, really? They probably got more information from watching it transmit than they anticipated being able to recover from its hardware.

My suspicion was that had they wanted to prove it was or was not military they would have brought it down on land, one way or another.

 

[Farm Boy]

They don't need to prove that. Given Chinese reactions to thier neighbors in airspace around what they claim brand new from those neighbors, as opposed to directly over thier mainland, I'd say the response, while flashy, was controlled and reasonable as opposed to basic and escalatory. Tiny p33n poobears seem to react worse to shame than most things.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

A question, how did people here react to the death of a parent?
I didn't expect to have so many dreams about my father. Obviously things have to be worked upon.

Condolences, Kyriakos. It's not easy to lose a parent, no matter what the relationship was like.

My mother (2014)... for a whole list of reasons, my reaction was anger. Some here in OT were nice about it, tried to be supportive via PM and email, and I suppose I didn't react as they might have thought I should. It's not that I didn't appreciate them reaching out. It's just that I was trying to process the whole "I should feel grief, but all I feel is anger" thing. When an estranged parent dies and the family doesn't even tell that person's only blood offspring they were sick, it creates a lot of anger.

My dad (2019)... that was hard, for a lot of reasons. My dad and I were "two against the world" (plus pets - my cats and his cat and dog) since my grandmother's death, and he was so supportive as my health problems got worse. But then dementia happened, and he spent the last 12 years of his life in various nursing homes. He lost most of his memories right away, but knew me up until the last several months. He died the day before my first eye surgery, in February 2019.

I miss him. He never did get to meet Maddy, as I adopted her a few days after he went into the hospital. He would have loved her, as he loved all the pets (and it was mutual).


Kyriakos, there's no right or wrong way to react, or to mourn. There's only your way, and how you feel is how you feel. If anyone tells you you're doing it wrong, don't let them push you into what doesn't feel right to you. They don't know how you feel. Only you do.

Grief takes time and energy. It can be exhausting. There will be good days and bad days, and even good hours and bad hours within those days.

Dreams are a normal part of grief. If they bring good memories, cherish them. If not, and you take this as an indicator that some things need to be worked out... remember that you're not on a timetable here. It can take years. It will take as long as it takes, some days being easier than others.

 

[Kyriakos]

(thank you, sorry for your loss too)

 

[Gori the Grey]

Condolences, Kyr.

You've already been given the two-fold answer, but I'll reiterate it: 1) over time and 2) in your own way:

2) how any individual deals with another person's death is a result of so many variables in those two people and their relationship, that there is no "way" to do it, and therefore . . .

1) the only way to do it is to let it develop in its own fashion, through time. You're likely to go through various emotional phases. Just let each one be what it is for as long as it lasts, without trying to judge it or hurry it.

 

[Birdjaguar]

My suspicion was that had they wanted to prove it was or was not military they would have brought it down on land, one way or another.

Yes they likely retrieved all/most of the payload part from the shallow waters off SC. I suspect that the water landing was better for getting intact pieces than a land crash. Apparently the military could block it from sending signals back to China. They shot it down by destroying the balloon and not the payload, so that would have fallen as a single unit.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Who would be regarded as the Maple Leafs' best player? Right now, not all time.

 

[Synobun]

Who would be regarded as the Maple Leafs' best player? Right now, not all time.

Auston Matthews, easily. And he will be their best all time soon.

Though if you mean right this very second, in terms of performance today, this very moment, either Mitch Marner or William Nylander.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Team leader. Most responsible for a big win. Like if the Leafs won the Super Bowl of hockey on Sunday, the first person that the interviewers would go interview.

It's actually for a limerick where I pretend that the Leafs are in the Super Bowl.

 

[Synobun]

Team leader. Most responsible for a big win. Like if the Leafs won the Super Bowl of hockey on Sunday, the first person that the interviewers would go interview.

It's actually for a limerick where I pretend that the Leafs are in the Super Bowl.

Oh. Their captain is John Tavares.

 

[thetrooper]

Who would be regarded as the Maple Leafs' best player? Right now, not all time.

Matthews ainec.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Thanks for both answers so far, Syn (xpost and trooper). I don't necessarily mean official team leader, i.e. captain. Sometimes one person can be so much the star of a particular team that the team comes to be thought of as his team, regardless of who the on-paper captain is. From your first answer it sounds like that might be Matthews. Again, if the Maple Leafs were to win the Stanley Cup, who is the first player the ESPN interviewer would go interview?

For purposes of this limerick, I do have to sound like I know what I'm talking about on this point. Ha ha ha. I know nothing about hockey. (But I know where to ask).

 

[Synobun]

Thanks for both answers so far, Syn (xpost and trooper). I don't necessarily mean official team leader, i.e. captain. Sometimes one person can be so much the star of a particular team that the team comes to be thought of as his team, regardless of who the on-paper captain is. From your first answer it sounds like that might be Matthews. Again, if the Maple Leafs were to win the Stanley Cup, who is the first player the ESPN interviewer would go interview?

For purposes of this limerick, I do have to sound like I know what I'm talking about on this point. Ha ha ha. I know nothing about hockey. (But I know where to ask).

Matthews.

 

[Gori the Grey]

thank you muchly

 

[thetrooper]

And now you need something that ‘rhymes’ with Matthews for your limerick?

can lose
values
clown shoes
bad news
cashews