The weirdest thing you were ever told...
- Thread starter Angst
- Start date
Ziggy Stardust
Absolutely Sane
Waiting on the first train at night some guy walked up to me, eyed me and said: "Right time, wrong town, wrong girl" and smiled, all teeth. Then he stopped and went "Hmmmm, no that's not it ... wrong time, right girl, right town ... yeah yeah ... that's it, heh heh." and walked off, nodding and very pleased with himself.
Lozzy_Ozzy
Rapture
What a lame name to call outHaha, no, it was Frederik
.
Angst
Rambling and inconsistent
shmily_dana
Warlord
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2006
- Messages
- 285
I'm the sort of person that lives by routines. Many years ago my routine on Sunday nights was something like this: Watch Star Trek : Next Gen, Eat dinner, clean up, and go to Bible study. I would get there early.
It went weird one Sunday. I did my normal routine and got to the Bible Study and it was already in progress. I asked why it started early, and everyone said it was the normal time. I figured that a joke was being played on me, so I did not mention it for the rest of the night. When I got home I checked all the old Church schedules and all the TV schedules. (I had at least a month worth of old papers to look at). It was not day light savings time. The schedule were what my friends said. ST:NG did not change transmission time.
There is no way my routine would have fit between Star Trek and Bible study, but I clearly remember doing it for months before that Sunday.
It went weird one Sunday. I did my normal routine and got to the Bible Study and it was already in progress. I asked why it started early, and everyone said it was the normal time. I figured that a joke was being played on me, so I did not mention it for the rest of the night. When I got home I checked all the old Church schedules and all the TV schedules. (I had at least a month worth of old papers to look at). It was not day light savings time. The schedule were what my friends said. ST:NG did not change transmission time.
There is no way my routine would have fit between Star Trek and Bible study, but I clearly remember doing it for months before that Sunday.
Bwahaha.
So you look like a stoner?
classical_hero
In whom I trust
I am the same way, but unlike you, I will tell one of the weirdest things i have ever said.
The story goes that I was out with some friends at a Chinese restaurant and since two of them were getting married there was discussion about their up coming marriage. So to talk about it I asked this question, "So what is happening on your wedding night?" Before I could stop myself from saying that, the words had come out of my mouth. I was trying to get discussion about what was going to happen at the reception, but I just did not word the question properly. Naturally everyone that heard it got a good laugh out of it.
Hitti-Litti
Deity
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2006
- Messages
- 3,767
I was walking to the store with few other guys. A man, about 25 years old, walks on the same street, but towards us. When he gets to us, he makes a nazi salute and shouts "Satan!!", and continues walking.
He wasn't even drunk or anything, maybe he just wanted to have fun.
And we got a good laugh of it too.
He wasn't even drunk or anything, maybe he just wanted to have fun.
And we got a good laugh of it too.Eukaryote
Deity
Oh, YOU LUCKY DAWG!
You totally should, guys love it when they get hit on for a change you know*, and this opener is just far-out sexy and hilarious.
*This isn't true when it's the kind of insecure guy that's afraid to even talk to girls.
When i was working at an I-Cafe there was an elder man (ca.50). One day he came to me with one of these nice magazines, you know these you wont show your mom.
So he starts talking about how poor and misguided these little things (Jaqueline, 22: I like it hard and dirty ect.) are. With his weird broken german and italian accent he tells me they have fallen from God, and his father, God, has commandered to help them.
I thought, "WTH, you horny lying bastard, i know how you want to help them!".
But, he being a paying customer i withheld my opinion and set him up an email account so he could contact them.
Because his german was horsehockey i actually typed the mails for him, "Dear XXXMag, i would like to meet Jaqueline, Issue xyz, page 23. Blabla, nothing spectacular. This continued for some weeks, he would come every other or every third day, check his Mails and write a new one to a new girl.
Of course they never wrote back.
One day he came to me and said he will meet...dunno, something with M, let's say Monica, the next day. I: "Oh fine, now his mind finally snapped".
The next day he comes in, all fire and brimstone: "I was there, at the trainstation, at exactly 12:20, but Monica wasn't there. I waited for hours, but she didn't came. Then my father told me why, you damn liar. It's because of you, you contacted her and told her to go to another place and met with her". I(hardly able to hold my laughter back): "What? I don't even know your father". He(grabbing his big golden cruzifix): "My father, GOD, who see's it all and told me what you did". I: (Finally laughing) "I'm sorry Mr., please believe me, it's not true, please believe me, i swear to god".
He goes on for ca. 5 mins, ranting about what a slimey, lying snake I am, I'm laughing all the time while telling him in my best salesman manner: "Sorry, this has to be an misunderstanding, i never talked to Monica, i was here working...."
Finally i noticed how panicky some female customers had begun to look at him and decided i have to stop it. I told him to leave and never come back, he argued, i said: Okay, i'm calling the police.
He: "I will go now, but believe me, this won't go unpunished. I will curse you, and tonight, exactly ad midnight your blood will turn to poison and you'll die a horrible death". Turns, runs out the door, and there, standing on a lively inner city street, turns his head and arms to the sky and cries on top of his voice: "Father, why have you forsaken me". And strolls away.
The same day a good friend of mine visited me at work, until then i was a bit worried about it. Not about my blood turning into poison, but maybe the crazy waiting for me with god's own AK on my way home. My friend said: "Don't worry, I'll call my brother (policeman), they'll know about him".
I: "That's illegal, giving us the information they have on him, he's risking his job". Friend: "They do that all the time". So a few minutes later brother calls back: Yes, we have files on him, he's harmless, and gay.
So he really only wanted to help these poor girls!
So he starts talking about how poor and misguided these little things (Jaqueline, 22: I like it hard and dirty ect.) are. With his weird broken german and italian accent he tells me they have fallen from God, and his father, God, has commandered to help them.
I thought, "WTH, you horny lying bastard, i know how you want to help them!".
But, he being a paying customer i withheld my opinion and set him up an email account so he could contact them.
Because his german was horsehockey i actually typed the mails for him, "Dear XXXMag, i would like to meet Jaqueline, Issue xyz, page 23. Blabla, nothing spectacular. This continued for some weeks, he would come every other or every third day, check his Mails and write a new one to a new girl.
Of course they never wrote back.
One day he came to me and said he will meet...dunno, something with M, let's say Monica, the next day. I: "Oh fine, now his mind finally snapped".
The next day he comes in, all fire and brimstone: "I was there, at the trainstation, at exactly 12:20, but Monica wasn't there. I waited for hours, but she didn't came. Then my father told me why, you damn liar. It's because of you, you contacted her and told her to go to another place and met with her". I(hardly able to hold my laughter back): "What? I don't even know your father". He(grabbing his big golden cruzifix): "My father, GOD, who see's it all and told me what you did". I: (Finally laughing) "I'm sorry Mr., please believe me, it's not true, please believe me, i swear to god".
He goes on for ca. 5 mins, ranting about what a slimey, lying snake I am, I'm laughing all the time while telling him in my best salesman manner: "Sorry, this has to be an misunderstanding, i never talked to Monica, i was here working...."
Finally i noticed how panicky some female customers had begun to look at him and decided i have to stop it. I told him to leave and never come back, he argued, i said: Okay, i'm calling the police.
He: "I will go now, but believe me, this won't go unpunished. I will curse you, and tonight, exactly ad midnight your blood will turn to poison and you'll die a horrible death". Turns, runs out the door, and there, standing on a lively inner city street, turns his head and arms to the sky and cries on top of his voice: "Father, why have you forsaken me". And strolls away.
The same day a good friend of mine visited me at work, until then i was a bit worried about it. Not about my blood turning into poison, but maybe the crazy waiting for me with god's own AK on my way home. My friend said: "Don't worry, I'll call my brother (policeman), they'll know about him".
I: "That's illegal, giving us the information they have on him, he's risking his job". Friend: "They do that all the time". So a few minutes later brother calls back: Yes, we have files on him, he's harmless, and gay.
So he really only wanted to help these poor girls!
i totally DID! to the UPS guy today. lol LOL.
his face turned beet red and said "uhh maybe some other time, ma'am. i'm on a tight schedule" lol LOL
i totally DID! to the UPS guy today. lol LOL.
his face turned beet red and said "uhh maybe some other time, ma'am. i'm on a tight schedule" lol LOL
Nasty girl.
So, how about your adress?
Harbringer
Your A One Flower Garden
i totally DID! to the UPS guy today. lol LOL.
his face turned beet red and said "uhh maybe some other time, ma'am. i'm on a tight schedule" lol LOL
tight schedule tee-hee
No, the homeless man was the stoner here. I was just a passer by.
History_Buff
Deity
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2001
- Messages
- 6,529
It doesn't have to be an address either, I'd be perfectly happy meeting in a dark park, or vehicle of some sort.
As for the weirdest thing I've ever been told, we were hassling a friend of ours, because it's fun, and he got all flustered up, took a moment to collect himself, and then with the dumbest look on his face, turned to me, and said "I wear Penises." I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.
As for the weirdest thing I've ever been told, we were hassling a friend of ours, because it's fun, and he got all flustered up, took a moment to collect himself, and then with the dumbest look on his face, turned to me, and said "I wear Penises." I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.
Slaughter
Initiate
Last year, I was walking with my three friends (Bruno, Ewerson, Yuri) back to home. Then, a old woman sudently comes near us four and says while pointin at us "You're a gay, you're a homosexual, you're a fag and you're a fresh" (my translation to "fresco", another way to call people gay here).
Can you imagine the four of us, all heteros, seeing this old lady saying that to us? I was speechless! Not that I've found that I'm gay or something. But it's too... RANDOM for my mind to grasp!
Can you imagine the four of us, all heteros, seeing this old lady saying that to us? I was speechless! Not that I've found that I'm gay or something. But it's too... RANDOM for my mind to grasp!
Fifty
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dear jerks,
This thread has potential. Lets not turn it into a crappy little lets-make-comments-to-allude-to-the-fact-that-we-have-gotten-tail-before-in-our lives-in-between-making-little-comments-to-feed-betor's-attention-whoreism festival!
love,
Fifty Q Fiftyson, esq.
This thread has potential. Lets not turn it into a crappy little lets-make-comments-to-allude-to-the-fact-that-we-have-gotten-tail-before-in-our lives-in-between-making-little-comments-to-feed-betor's-attention-whoreism festival!
love,
Fifty Q Fiftyson, esq.
Narz
keeping it real
A kid at boarding school told me I had a nice ass in the shower.
I made sure not to shower next to him anymore after that.
I made sure not to shower next to him anymore after that.
bigdog5994
Lady Day
i was in the library doing a report and this guy with these really thick sunglasses and a really big book sat right across from me it was only me and him in the upper part of the library and all of a sudden he says "now you say you found someone you love better" and i said WHAT!?!!? and he snaps up and looks in my direction and says "oh im sorry i didnt notice you" and then i notice that he has a brail book, HES A BLIND GUY and he was singing Ray Charles's 'its crying time again' to himself, i was being such a good boy in the library he didnt even notice me
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