At what point could you refuse to recruit any of the ME1 companions? Also, whilst you could indeed get various ME2 companions killed off quite deliberately, how many of those could you refuse to pick up in the first place?
In Mass Effect 1 you could turn down both Garrus and Wrex. It wasn't very obvious that you could do it, but it could be done. In Mass Effect 2, you are only forced to recruit the first 4 dossiers the Illusive Man gives you (and Miranda and Jacob of course). Even then, Grunt is optional because while you are forced to pick him up, you can go the whole game without letting him out of his tank. The other dossiers are completely optional. The only other one they kind of force you to recruit after the first 4 is Legion, but he can be turned over to Cerberus for study instead of keeping him on the Normandy for your squad.
In fact, I just completed another playthrough of Mass Effect 2 without recruiting Tali at all.
Yeah I don't remember being able to turn down companions ever.
Have you ever tried though? If you just recruit every squad member they throw at you, then it makes sense that you wouldn't remember being given the opportunity to turn them down.
EDIT: So to more clearly answer the question here are the optional squad members in each Mass Effect game:
ME1: Garrus, Wrex
ME2: Thane, Samara, Tali, Legion, Grunt, Kasumi, Zaeed, Morinth.
ME3: Javik
ME Andromeda: None
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