What would you do if a bird picked you up?

[Yeekim]

Tim's plan is probably best one under the circumstances, might go with that.
After I've overcome my initial shock and amazement over a bird that can lift me, that is. Might take a while, actually.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I think i saw the same show @Ryika saw, nor have i been properly trained in "contingencies of giant bird abduction", so i will stick to heart attack or fainting.....however, perhaps after reading this thread, i will be better prepared... maybe i should buy a gun?

Among reasons people cite for getting and carrying a gun, "might be grabbed by a giant bird" is no less rational than most.

 

[Snerk]

Me killed by fowl? I like to think I'd give a smile over the immense poetic justice in that. Actually the more I think about it the more I love it. It'd be a wonderful way to go.

 

[Zkribbler]

I so thought this thread was going to be about something completely different (bird being slang for attractive young women here).

The second thing I thought of was the recent find of the bones of a Neanderthal child which had been through the intestinal tract of a bird.

 

[Silurian]

Anyway I'd hang on and wait for the genie to appear since it sounds very Arabian Nights.

In The Second Voyage of Sindbad the Sailor he used his turban to hitch a ride off a roc.

 

[HoloDoc]

Cry fowl?

I'm so terribly sorry.

The second thing I thought of was the recent find of the bones of a Neanderthal child which had been through the intestinal tract of a bird.

I hadn't heard of that.

I'd ride that sucker into battle, then lose the Oscar to my ex-wife's movie.

Joking aside - which is hard, because this scenario tickles my funny bone - I'd probably hang I for dear life. I rarely wear a belt, so Tim's idea, while great, is unlikely to work for me. I'd likely hold on tight, try to improve my grip, and be ready to fight that winged demon when it finally lands.

Then I'd enjoy my Original Recipe Pterodactyl.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Everyone should wear a belt. Situations where a belt comes in really handy outnumber situations where a gun comes in handy by several orders of magnitude.

 

[HoloDoc]

Everyone should wear a belt. Situations where a belt comes in really handy outnumber situations where a gun comes in handy by several orders of magnitude.

I'm Australian. We tend not to have armed lunatics running around in the first place. And we fight our wildlife hand to hand, like real men. Also, my pants stay up on their own.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I'm Australian. We tend not to have armed lunatics running around in the first place. And we fight our wildlife hand to hand, like real men. Also, my pants stay up on their own.

Belts are useful for car and household repairs, strapping stuff down in the truck, climbing things, tourniquets...not just beating up wildlife and miscreants.

 

[HoloDoc]

Belts are useful for car and household repairs, strapping stuff down in the truck, climbing things, tourniquets...not just beating up wildlife and miscreants.

I have a toolbox, a pocket knife, rope, no truck, and I haven't climbed anything in decades. I can always rip a shirt if I need a tourniquet.

And if I can't beat up wildlife and miscreants with it, is it really worth having?

 

[Takhisis]

First I have to point out that in Soviet Britain you pick up girls.

My friend asked a bunch of us this question, and we ended up having a very interesting discussion as several of us had very different reactions. Just for fun.

Imagine you're out walking or something on a warm summer's day, and suddenly out of nowhere you're lifted into the air by a giant bird that swooped down and grabbed you, and now you're off flying.

How do you feel you'll react? Do you wait and see where you're taken, or do you try to struggle and make it let you go?

Well, condors miiight be able to do it, but let's say a rukh… normal-world me would panic, probably shout, pray, poop, cough, pee, vomit, and/or faint, in more or less any order.

However, quest-world Tak… is this a sci-fi setting with blasters? A high-fantasy one where i have a sword and/or a Charm Animal species spell and/or a Soft Landing spell?

…or a mixture?

Me killed by fowl? I like to think I'd give a smile over the immense poetic justice in that. Actually the more I think about it the more I love it. It'd be a wonderful way to go.

You'd ‘go’ in more ways than one.

 

[Commodore]

How do you feel you'll react? Do you wait and see where you're taken, or do you try to struggle and make it let you go?

Step 1: Accepting my death.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Since you're giving me time to think about this, I might try talking to the bird. Unusual in one way (size); why not in others (language)?

In such a situation, what I'd actually do is just freak out. I don't think the specifics of the ways I could die, as some posters have contemplated, (being dropped, being taken to young birds as a meal) would even occur to me. I'd just have a general sense that I was in mortal danger and I'd panic accordingly.

You know that "friend you'd want in a foxhole"? Yeah, I'm not that guy. It's not that I'm a coward. I'm reasonably brave. I just freeze up in startling situations.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Since you're giving me time to think about this, I might try talking to the bird. Unusual in one way (size); why not in others (language)?

In such a situation, what I'd actually do is just freak out. I don't think the specifics of the ways I could die, as some posters have contemplated, (being dropped, being taken to young birds as a meal) would even occur to me. I'd just have a general sense that I was in mortal danger and I'd panic accordingly.

You know that "friend you'd want in a foxhole"? Yeah, I'm not that guy. It's not that I'm a coward. I'm reasonably brave. I just freeze up in startling situations.

Freezing up can be a good thing as long as you get over it in a reasonable time. When training reactor operators we told them there was exactly one situation calling for instant and accurate response, and we beat that situation and the response into their heads. For all other situations they were told to think. If they couldn't trust themselves to think, stand up, grab your ass with both hands, and sit back down until you can think. Under no circumstances outside the one situation do you let your hands just start roaming around the controls...freezing is fine.

 

[Broken_Erika]

If i was picked up by a bird. I would politely inform it that i am not a coconut.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Freezing up can be a good thing as long as you get over it in a reasonable time. When training reactor operators we told them there was exactly one situation calling for instant and accurate response, and we beat that situation and the response into their heads. For all other situations they were told to think. If they couldn't trust themselves to think, stand up, grab your ass with both hands, and sit back down until you can think. Under no circumstances outside the one situation do you let your hands just start roaming around the controls...freezing is fine.

All right, but in this scenario, I also don't imagine that I ever recover my wits enough to do anything that would increase my odds of survival.

I mean, heck, sitting here in the utter safety and security of my study, the best I was able to come up with was "talk to the bird"!

 

[Takhisis]

If i was picked up by a bird. I would politely inform it that i am not a coconut.

You're nuts but not that type?

 

[Timsup2nothin]

All right, but in this scenario, I also don't imagine that I ever recover my wits enough to do anything that would increase my odds of survival.

I mean, heck, sitting here in the utter safety and security of my study, the best I was able to come up with was "talk to the bird"!

I actually like "talk to the bird." I tend to devolve situations into general cases and then do things that really have nothing great to say about them other than "it won't make things worse." Like I could immediately recognize that any struggling or attacking the bird if "successful" meant falling and dying, which connected directly to "strapping in is the best response to threats of falling and dying." But the real outside the box paths generally have a better chance to reach an actual solution. When dealing with familiar machinery enough "just do something that won't make it worse" eventually gets you to 'situation controlled and damage minimized,' but flying giant bird attacks don't fit that familiarity curve.

 

[Zelig]

Imagine you're out walking or something on a warm summer's day

Well if I'm walking on a warm summer's day, there's a very real chance that I'm carrying my climbing gear. In which case I use my rope to lash the bird's legs together, and toes apart, clip my harness to a loop, and relax until we get to the destination.

 

[Berzerker]

I'd try to mimic a baby bird and grab on and not get dropped onto the rocks like a turtle

 

[Broken_Erika]

You're nuts but not that type?

I'd rather not have birds gripping me by the husk.