who killed john f. kennedy?

who did it?


  • Total voters
    61
Obviously the Mafia, so we could host a Mafia game with the US people as townies and them as Mafia. But the town was too shocked to care about a game.
 
A bullet that was meant for Connally but decided to troll the US that day.


PD: In case you didn't notice, that's fetishism.
 
JFK defeated Nixon in 1960. Nixon then proceeded to lose the '62 election for governor of California. His rage was heard by a 17-year old Don McLean over the telephone. He was on the phone with the wrong number because the switchboard operator at Southwestern Bell in St. Louis screwed up. The rage turned to a rant about 'time-travel,' and McLean was inspired. fios tole one of Doc Brown's prototypes and went back, only he screwed up and caused the 1959 plane crash in an Iowa cornfield that killed Buddy Holly. Distraught, he eventually would write 'American Pie,' which by the way is a cryptic retelling of the events that caused the plane crash in the first place. But the time currents were all screwed up already. Alfred Hitchcock got a vision of the crash back in 1957 or so, inspiring him to create that one scene North by Northwest. That scene was seen in another vision by Amelia Earhart in 1937, inspiring her to do the same stunt over the Pacific, only she screwed up and crashed. Or time-slipped, as her plane jumped forward several years and triggered the whole PT-109 incident.

The Time Patrol got wind of the incident(s), and sent one of their operators, Lee Harvey Oswald (his whole life story was merely a cover) to eliminate the source of the temporal anomalies, which due to PT-109 was mistakenly identified as one John F. Kennedy. Not only did Oswald kill the wrong guy, he also screwed up, killing Conolly as well and getting caught by local police. Oswald had a history of failures and botched operations, so the Time Patrol sent their Internal Affairs agent Jack Ruby to eliminate Oswald, but Ruby did not do much better, mistakenly carrying out the operation on national television and getting captured himself. Fortunately, his cover held, and that was the end of that. In the 1970s and early 1980s Time Patrol operations broke up AT&T as a whole vainly trying to eliminate the source of the temporal anomalies, but Southwestern Bell still exists, so...

Long story short - it was a switchboard operator at Southwestern Bell in St. Louis in 1962. And the Time Patrol has failed us.

:p
 
I have a super secret source I'm not going to identify but I've been informed that someone in this thread assassinated JFK. Why else would he be hiding on this site? Let him prove me wrong.

The same source also informed me that his username starts with an N and ends with a J.
 
:backstab: do NOT tell the world of my secrets!
 
^ Actually, there is a Doctor Who novel called Who Killed Kennedy?. It's twisted and convoluted and a rather interesting take on the question.

Personally, however, by this time I really don't care. I was just 5 months old at the time and had no opinion one way or any other.
 
^ Actually, there is a Doctor Who novel called Who Killed Kennedy?...

...and a Stephen King novel.

But seriously folks - isn't it obvious the aliens killed JFK to keep the Americans from entering outer space?!:crazyeye: Sheesh!

And not those cute Spielberg Grey's. I'm talkin mean human-flesh-eating lizardoids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
That doesn't really prove anything. Losing Oswald could have prompted them to abort the mission.
 
I saw a documentary called The Watchmen that suggested that a superhero called The Comedian did the deed.
 
Come to think of it, the Comedian might have been a shape-shifting lizardian.
 
downtown
 
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