Well, offering in itself was not the problem in that case - fragile ego and inability to take "no" for an answer was.
I also don't get your point about "counter-incentives". You mean you would hesitate offering help to someone over concern for similar scenario playing out?
EDIT: Also, I don't get where you both take this "expectation"/"reward" idea from. At least I see no indication that in either story there was any such expectation from men (in the latter there clearly wasn't), nor that the girls thought of it as a reward, as opposed to taking a liking/becoming interested themselves. Post hoc =/= propter hoc, after all.