Altered Maps VII: Making the World a Better Place

[Squonk]

Or do you believe there was a sharp transition between majority-German Sudetenland and the majority-Czech rest of Bohemia?

In comparison to the situation of Galicia - yes.

My point is that this map is very unfavourable towards minorities (in this case Poles), and, moreover, someone used IT, not the actual ethnical structure of the land, as a fundation of proposed borders. Moreover, he actually cut even more majority polish lands from the western part of Galicia and gave it to the eastern part. So, in this case, at three stages, decisions that were made were unfavourable to Poles, and the result is not "fair", as you claim, but extremly favourable to only one of the sides of conflict in Galicia.

Which is why Belgium and Switzerland both descended into civil wars in the 1920s... Oh wait

Don't pretend to be that naive. Switzerland has centuries of common history behind it. Belgium has huge internal problems, so it's not the best example, but it did fight together against Netherlands, and, like french Swiss in fact, Flamands didn't share a common religion with Netherlands, which was at this time fairly important.
Also, there is a common name for the Swiss and some cultural and geographical identity; there is a name for francophone Belgians (Valons) and dutch-speaking (Flamands). There is a history different than in the Netherlands that goes back for hundreds of years. I can't speak for Romanians, Serbs etc, but it was clearly not the case for Poles and Ukrainians from Galicia.

This is a division inside a larger multi-national state which would presumably have a liberal constitution and democratic procedures respecting the real division of power. I see no, I repeat, NO reason why it couldn't have worked. Such deterministic view is totally misplaced here.

My view is not deterministic. I don't say it couldn't have worked in all cases. I only think it's not very probable without much tact on behalf of the central gouverment on one hand, and much determination on another. And a lot of luck.

Yes, because you're irritatingly over-sensitive about anything concerning Poland, Poles or Polish. Get over yourself.

I don't know the actual ethnical situation of Transsilvania. I am discussing something I know something about, especially since it concerns the region of Poland my entire family came from. I don't see anything bad in it. You respond immediately when someone discusses anything that has to do with Czechs as well.

 

[Winner]

2003 northeast blackout:

 

[Yoda Power]

Are you sure that's real? The black area looks more black than the ocean.

 

[Arwon]

Doesn't look real, nah.

 

[Yared]

Yeah, look at the parts of Canada where there aren't any lights. Those parts aren't black either.

Unless it's intentional, to make it really stand out.

 

[Joecoolyo]

It's fake.

 

[Winner]

Yup, it's a fake. I suspected as much.

 

[Tee Kay]

Welcome to the random, unscheduled presentation of the Versailles Award, the Middle East edition. Here, we have none of those "roadmap" or "peace process" bullsheet. Instead, the contestants were presented with the much more fun task of making the Middle East an even more of a hellhole than it already is. Let's see what they came up with!

Before we meet the winner, let's start with the honorable mentions.

Dishonorable mention to Farsight for being lazy and another dishonorable mention to Masada for being lazy and also, more seriously, Byzantine-wanking. Seriously, can we make that punishable by law? SchoolzsoKewl gets the less serious charge of Persia-wanking, and while I like the "Kingdom of Love" (I can only assume this is meant in the Orwellian sense), I frankly have no idea what's going on in Egypt. Sparrow55 map was very nicely done but I have to take points off for Georgia-wanking, which is probably the only thing worse than Byzantine-wanking. Let's hope it doesn't catch on.

Honorable mentions to Karalysia and HuaynaCapac357 for actually trying to be honorable and come up with realistic, even if only remotely, scenarios. HC357's map, especially, might even end up bringing peace the region. That is unthinkable, heretical thought, Huayna. Nevertheless, he will get the Wilson Gold Medal for giving the most land to Armenia. (On the other hand, Karalysia gets the "Stalin Award" for taking away half of Ethiopia for Somalia and moving the border west).

Lone Wolf gets the National Traitor Award for putting Russia so close, yet so far, from what would be their warm-water Indian Ocean ports. He also gets the Wilson Silver for posting the only other map to even show an Armenia. Neither Armenias are as large as Wilsonian Armenia, but seeing as that never became a reality, perhaps it's only appropriate.

Another honourable mention to Weik for introducing a Romani state to the Middle East, thereby screwing up the region for all time. I do have to take points off for straight-line borders and the abominable word "Bulgurkey". Yared gets the European Traitor Award for letting Turkey in the European Union. I approve of the Greater Poland and the Sino-Russian Union, however. New Zealanders colonizing Saudi Arabia would be goddamn hilarious. I assume India is Communist and under my rule?

We're nearing winners territory now. Consider these tied for fourth place: I am tempted to make Joecoolyo the winner for resurrecting the Ottoman Empire. Kraznaya's proposal I can really get behind. NedimNapoleon, that was hilarious (I loled hard at the Error 404).

Third Place: madviking for originality and sheer screwed-up-ness. Let's see you try to fix something that, Obama! The prize - a sightseeing tour on the Israeli-Lebanese border. If something is blocking your view, the local IDF will be more than happy to remedy that annoyance.

Second Place: Winner, apart from posting the best drawn map, for really getting into the spirit of the 1920s and partitioning the Middle East old-school, with a touch of environmentalism. We should also give him credit for his humanitarianism for creating a large lake (I assume it's freshwater) for the inhabitants of water-starved Arabia. Most of all, we must admire his noble endeavour to finally give the Czechs a coastline, and making his fellow Eastern Europeans the Poles a colonial power. The prize - an all-expense paid trip to Mecca, Saudi Arabia.

First Place: choxorn. This wins for DYOS and Forum Games references, and entertainment value. I'm going to hell for laughing at "American exit date..." but whatever. The prize - The Versailles Trophy! It shall be presented by a Mossad agent, a Palestinian militant, a Hezbollah fighter, an Iranian Revolutionary Guard, a Turkish "humanitarian worker", an Afghan Taliban, and that mob of Iraqis shouting "death to the infidel!". Here they are. Everyone else should consider ducking behind the nearest piece of furniture.

 

[warpus]

I was about to point out that the city where I was attending University got hit during the great blackout, but it's lit up in the pic.

 

[say1988]

Note the time stamp is 11:15pm, so large areas did have power restored (i.e. much of Ontario).
It is obviously fake, but it may (generally) be accurate.

 

[SchoolzSoKewl]

SchoolzsoKewl gets the less serious charge of Persia-wanking, and while I like the "Kingdom of Love" (I can only assume this is meant in the Orwellian sense), I frankly have no idea what's going on in Egypt.

@taillesskangaru Oh, the kingdom of love wasn't a reference to 1984 but I can see that now, forgot about that ministry. I just thought it would be nice if the jews, muslims, greeks/turks and people in the balkans got along.
And I just gave Egypt to Lil' Kim the American rapper and listed all her aliases. I didn't want the Persian Empire to be too big for aesthetic reasons.

Congrats to Choxorn though I thought the map was funny and I'm not even that in the know about the Civfanatic memes.
I also thought the reward for Winner was funny

 

[Mathalamus]

Dishonorable mention to Farsight for being lazy and another dishonorable mention to Masada for being lazy and also, more seriously, Byzantine-wanking. Seriously, can we make that punishable by law?

you have to be kidding. no, it wont be a law.

 

[Winner]

Woo, a trip to Mecca! Great! I'll certainly take the suitcase nuke I bought on eBay with me

But the question arises: what shall we balkanize next? Which unfortunate region is to be fed to the wolves?

Here's my proposal:

Spoiler :

With borders:

Ultra-blank version:

 

[Tee Kay]

I can second that.

 

[Mathalamus]

why dont you balkanize turkey or something?

 

[Yared]

This should get it's own thread?

Or maybe you'd eventually run out of maps.

-

@Tailless:

If you think that India's beuracracy problems are big now, imagine how it'd be in my scenario But maybe you'll be just the right leader.

 

[Karalysia]

There are only so many ways to carve a Turkey.

 

[Masada]

I wasn't being lazy. I was dead serious.

 

[classical_hero]

Here is my map of East Asia, American style

Spoiler :

You will notice there are no borders here, since most Americans will not recognise them anyway.

 

[Karalysia]

Behold!

Spoiler :