Are you in a relationship?

[aelf]

Relationships that last longer than a year are almost unheard of, and usually take place between very shy, antisocial people who don't get out much to begin with.

Hey!

 

[CaptainF]

Hey!

Did I strike a nerve?

Just my personal experience. Exceptions to every rule, and all that. Most people I know (in college) with long-term relationships are kind of shut-ins, and many end up as being those people who have a girlfriend/boyfriend, but no friends/social life outside of that relationship. This tends to happen far more often with guys though. Girls this age are attention junkies and the dude must supply, otherwise he won't get laid, which is bad since most guys are vagina junkies.

After college this doesn't really seem to be the norm anymore. My older bro for example has a girlfriend but also makes time to hang with his homies, as does his girlfriend hang with her friends. Must have something to do with the scholastic environment.

 

[aelf]

Just my personal experience. Exceptions to every rule, and all that. Most people I know (in college) with long-term relationships are kind of shut-ins, and many end up as being those people who have a girlfriend/boyfriend, but no friends/social life outside of that relationship.

Yeah, but that's after the relationship, not before.

 

[Syterion]

I'm not arguing that gay men should be sluts. I'm just saying I've met some shallow gay guys who act like anyone over 30 is too old or like they're just too good for half the men out there and this is sort of a reaction to that.

That's not that weird. I'm 22 and I would honestly say I am too good for half the girls out there. Cause it's true. And 30 is probably too old, let's be honest. I'd still probably consider it though.

I'ma be honest bro, I can usually handle talking to them once I get into the friend zone, when I start calling them "dude" a lot. That is in fact how my relationships usually start.

But if I go into a situation where I am supposed to ask a girl for her number or see if she wants to get some coffee later or even hit up the dance floor, panic attacks.

See, with me it is usually a problem of "too hungry, overthinking it too much," and once I get past that and just am like "Ok, we're just friends, nothings gonna happen" I relax and start to make my moves without really paying a lot of attention.

If to relax you need to treat them as friends, then treat them as friends. But feel free to hit on your friends in a non creepy manner. In fact, lots of times if I think "Oh that girl is out of my league/doesn't care about me," they will be into you because you don't treat them like they're special and you can just be fun to be around. Then I casually hit on them later and all of a sudden you realizing they're eating out of your hand and it turns into something.

I am single right now.

 

[downtown]

"Lowering standards"? How about "broadening one's outlook" and accepting that your future girlfriend may not be showing up in the Babe Thread anytime soon, but that it's possible to befriend, fall in love with, be made very happy by, and have mind-blowingly awesome sex with someone who may not rock a bikini but knows exactly what buttons to push in that brain of yours and finds doing so to be a huge turn-on?

Lots of truth in this post

Relationships that last longer than a year are almost unheard of, and usually take place between very shy, antisocial people who don't get out much to begin with.

WOOO ANTI SOCIAL BRO IN THE HOUSE RIGHT HERE WOOOO

 

[NovaKart]

That's not that weird. I'm 22 and I would honestly say I am too good for half the girls out there. Cause it's true. And 30 is probably too old, let's be honest. I'd still probably consider it though.


If to relax you need to treat them as friends, then treat them as friends. But feel free to hit on your friends in a non creepy manner. In fact, lots of times if I think "Oh that girl is out of my league/doesn't care about me," they will be into you because you don't treat them like they're special and you can just be fun to be around. Then I casually hit on them later and all of a sudden you realizing they're eating out of your hand and it turns into something.

I am single right now.

Come on, lots of people are still hot way into their 40s and even 50s. Oldest I've done is 59 and I was, don't remember exactly but probably around 28 at the time. Sometimes it's fun to go antiquing. We'll be there ourselves some day if we're lucky enough.

 

[CaptainF]

Yeah, but that's after the relationship, not before.

Which is why I think it's generally a bad idea for college kids to engage in long-term relationships. College is supposed to be a time when you are focusing your attention on meeting new people, trying out new things, having fun and broadening your horizons. I fail to see how spending all of your time, money and energy on some dullard girlfriend helps to achieve these objectives.

WOOO ANTI SOCIAL BRO IN THE HOUSE RIGHT HERE WOOOO

If you got it, better flaunt it! Although next time do try to be substantive, or at least funny in your response.

 

[Syterion]

Which is why I think it's generally a bad idea for college kids to engage in long-term relationships. College is supposed to be a time when you are focusing your attention on meeting new people, trying out new things, having fun and broadening your horizons. I fail to see how spending all of your time, money and energy on some dullard girlfriend helps to achieve these objectives.

Maybe she doesn't have to be a dullard? Plus you can still meet people and broaden your horizons while not single? Also you have better sex with a long term girlfriend?

Basically, I'm trying to be substantive while saying your opinion is stupid.

Come on, lots of people are still hot way into their 40s and even 50s. Oldest I've done is 59 and I was, don't remember exactly but probably around 28 at the time. Sometimes it's fun to go antiquing. We'll be there ourselves some day if we're lucky enough.

I'm 22 years old... Girls my age are more appealing than 40 year olds.

 

[CaptainF]

Maybe she doesn't have to be a dullard?

She might end up that way, if she wasn't at the beginning.

Although it might not matter if you're also a dullard. From what I can tell dullards tend to find each other.

Plus you can still meet people and broaden your horizons while not single?

Not as easy.

Also you have better sex with a long term girlfriend?

Or not. Especially not when you're puss whipped and do everything you can to get some nookie at the end of the day. Worth it?

Basically, I'm trying to be substantive while saying your opinion is stupid.

Keep trying.

 

[downtown]

She might end up that way, if she wasn't at the beginning.

Although it might not matter if you're also a dullard. From what I can tell dullards tend to find each other.

Or maybe you'll become one too. Sounds like you just have a hard time finding non-dullard people.

Not as easy.

Only if you're with somebody who sucks.

 

[CaptainF]

Or maybe you'll become one too. Sounds like you just have a hard time finding non-dullard people.

I think you're right. Might be me, might be the environment. Maybe I'm kind of a prick.

Only if you're with somebody who sucks.

Quite true. Although I would argue it's still slightly easier if you're single.

Problem is, a lot of people don't realize they're with someone who sucks until far later than they should have. Many of my friends have done this, wasting years on dumb broads that tried to mold them into what they wanted them to be. But they stuck with her and obeyed her every whim simply because she had the sex carrot dangling from a string, so to speak.

 

[downtown]

I think you're right. Might be me, might be the environment. Maybe I'm kind of a prick.



Quite true. Although I would argue it's still slightly easier if you're single.

Problem is, a lot of people don't realize they're with someone who sucks until far later than they should have. Many of my friends have done this, wasting years on dumb broads that tried to mold them into what they wanted them to be. But they stuck with her and obeyed her every whim simply because she had the sex carrot dangling from a string, so to speak.

Yeah, being with somebody just for sex is pretty stupid, and you don't always realize that before its too late. Your environment may also be a problem...since quite frankly, lots of undergrads are immature as hell.

An actual relationship doesn't have to be dismissed out of hand though. If you pick the right folks, you still end up doing a lot of the things that you would have wanted to do anyway, only now you always have somebody to do them with.

 

[Syterion]

I think you're right. Might be me, might be the environment. Maybe I'm kind of a prick.



Quite true. Although I would argue it's still slightly easier if you're single.

Nah, another person that gets you invited to things to which you normally wouldn't be invited can only help. Like I said, assuming she doesn't suck.

Problem is, a lot of people don't realize they're with someone who sucks until far later than they should have. Many of my friends have done this, wasting years on dumb broads that tried to mold them into what they wanted them to be. But they stuck with her and obeyed her every whim simply because she had the sex carrot dangling from a string, so to speak.

I can't help your friends being stupid. That doesn't mean a relationship in college is bad. Sex is supposed to be fun for both parties. Either your friends and their girlfriends suck in bed, or the physical chemistry or sexual communication isn't there.

 

[CaptainF]

Yeah, being with somebody just for sex is pretty stupid, and you don't always realize that before its too late. Your environment may also be a problem...since quite frankly, lots of undergrads are immature as hell.

You are quite right. I've certainly come to that conclusion over the past 4 years. Undergrad academia isn't very different when compared to high school.

An actual relationship doesn't have to be dismissed out of hand though. If you pick the right folks, you still end up doing a lot of the things that you would have wanted to do anyway, only now you always have somebody to do them with.

That's the goal. I have become a little cynical towards relationships at the moment, as you can see, based on my own experiences and those of my friends. I hope that one day I can find some compatibility.

 

[CaptainF]

I can't help your friends being stupid.

My friends aren't stupid, they're quite smart. They simply like vagina a lot, like most men.

Even the smartest, brightest men have gotten drunk off the vag and blacked out for a few years, so to speak.

That doesn't mean a relationship in college is bad.

I didn't say that every relationship in college is bad. For some people, it works. I said that generally speaking relationships don't work for people in college.

Sex is supposed to be fun for both parties. Either your friends and their girlfriends suck in bed, or the physical chemistry or sexual communication isn't there.

What? You've missed my point entirely. These dude friends of mine stuck with their stupid, lame, nagging girlfriends for so long precisely because the sex was awesome. It's entirely possible to be sexually compatible and fail at everything else. The opposite of that statement is also true.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

Why the obsession with vaginas? They're disgusting.

Boobies are better.

 

[cardgame]

I would answer your question but I'm afraid it might be infractable.

 

[CaptainF]

Why the obsession with vaginas? They're disgusting.

Boobies are better.

Because you can have sex with vaginas, where as you can't have sex with...wait actually that's not true.

 

[Syterion]

What? You've missed my point entirely. These dude friends of mine stuck with their stupid, lame, nagging girlfriends for so long precisely because the sex was awesome. It's entirely possible to be sexually compatible and fail at everything else. The opposite of that statement is also true.

For whom was the sex awesome? My point was that if the girls enjoyed the sex they wouldn't be able to tease the guys with it because they would equally value it.

 

[Dachs]

It's just my personal observation (confirmed by a couple of my friends yesterday - or was it today? - on a halloween party we had ) that women I am interested in are invariably in a relationship. And not just those of my age, I mean even those 4-5 years younger than me. I don't know why, statistically this shouldn't be the case.

Why is this a bad thing? Makes life simpler.