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[Heretic_Cata]

Coming from a pole, no less.

 

[gay_Aleks]

No man can escape the Polish Inquisition cartographers!~

 

[Kyriakos]

No man can escape the Polish Inquisition cartographers!~

No man. No man, Polish or Greek. No man threatens a cartographer!

 

[Phrossack]

That is brilliant, warpus. Brilliant.

 

[Borachio]

It truly is. I've read it more than once, and I still like it.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

That doesn't sound like enough. Make it 3 robots and it'll be even.

"911? I'm calling to report that I see a man."

"Is he white?"

".. It's hard to tell, but he might just be tanned."

"This sounds serious, we're sending 2 tactical units, 17 canine units, a robot, and attack helicopters. STAND BY. And prepare to be shot."

 

[Borachio]

Okay so there's evolving then transcending then hypertranscending then hyperhypertranscending, then hyper^3transcending

once you hyper^∞transcend then you can metatranscend, then hypermetatranscend then hyperhypermetatranscend then hyper^3metatranscend

once you hyper^∞metatranscend then you can metametatranscend

Well I meta^∞transcended last Thursday.

back in my day we called that masturbating

Boom, boom! Nice one. Excellent set up, punch line and comeback.

 

[Flying Pig]

I own no laptops. But that's besides the point, I own plenty of things.

But more on point, yes, the world is a pile of shat. It's always been a pile of shat, it'll always be a pile of shat. Congratulations, you've found a pile of shat. Looked real hard, didn't ya? Every now and then though, people manage to actually get themselves steeled to pay for making the pile not quite so stinky. Within the framework of your example I was taking exception to, this is one of those moments. But by all means, focus on the shat if that's more your thing.

Quite inspiring, actually.

 

[Gori the Grey]

I've been saying for a while now that I regard Farm Boy as a prose poet. Here the epistrophe on "pile of shat." And revivifying the dead metaphor.

 

[Hygro]

I do not see a Republican that could beat Clinton in the general, especially after surviving the clown car derby.

Is that like the destruction derby at the fair, except they all pile into one car and just crash it into a wall?

Apt enough description of the Republican primaries.

Spoiler :

 

[Terxpahseyton]

On my head. Not all of my head mind you - only certain parts of my head. The crown, of course, but also a sort of semicircular region towards the front: both of these areas are very thin now....

I mean, honestly, there must be thousands of hairs on my head: what is the probability that these specific hairs just randomly stopped growing? If the value of the gravitational constant, the speed of light, or the charge of an electron were different by a factor of 10^-226, I would not have gone bald (Farley, 1977). It's absurd to think that this happened by chance. Clearly, someone has finely tuned the universe in such a way as to make me go bald.

So, yeah, cheers for that.

5char

 

[Tigranes]

JollyRoger
MRA
Gender: Unspecified

If I ever found out my girlfriend was having sex with her husband, it would be over.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

These are the kinds of posts that keep me coming back here.

Comparing official crime statistics across countries is meaningless. Doubly so for sexual assault. Tims is right to identify reporting rates as a factor. Swedish law enforcement almost certainly has higher confidence among victims than most other countries. Their laws and procedures are also better geared to protecting victims, and social attitudes more supportive of victims. And they specifically state in their laws things like marital rape, and the victim being intoxicated makes it rape, which isn't always terribly explicit in other countries jurisprudence.

In most cases a rising rate of recorded sexual assault is a good thing as it reflects rising reporting rates and improvements in law enforcement.

Moreover, though, some jurisdictions record crimes at the point of reporting, some at some point of being taken seriously enough to record, some at charges being laid and some at actual convictions. Some record repeated incidents as one crime. Others as a series of separate crimes.

That's also potentially fraught, due to changes in societal attitudes, policy, and the law. You've always got to use precise judgement about why a change is occurring. An example is Australia's assault statistics which are almost certainly going up due to changed official and societal attitudes to domestic violence (and probably also to changed copper and public attitudes to random drunken fights and bashings).

A couple more things I've found related to Swedish statistics. They record crimes at the point of initial report, which is early. As I mentioned earlier they're a country which counts every incident separately. They also have a proactive onus on police and prosecutors in their legal system to register offenses as they are identified, whereas other places have negotiable charges and plea bargaining.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Funnily enough, I do have a preference for visiting administrative, economic, and military centers. I probably might be a sentient, talking, walking strategic nuclear weapon.

Few places are actually vying to be favored destinations for ICBMs.

Khorne would probably get Defence, but what would Slaanesh's portfolio be?

If current trajectories are maintained, there won't be a party far enough to the right to accommodate Quackers c. 2024. BNP? Practically Marxists. Combat 18? Buncha liberals. The cannibalistic death-cult of Khorne the Blood God? Whinging politically correct nancies, the lot of them.

Tzeentch for PM! Nurgle for Health Minister.

 

[Hygro]

You're assuming the "AI Overlord" will be something akin to a stereotypical AI Overlord. It will be a glorified chat bot specialized for targeted marketing, and some loons will overreact and scream and throw tantrums until the responsible parties abolish (or more likely just rename) it, and then they will pat themselves on the back and embellish the whole affair until (the stupider parts of) future generations believe that Matrix was a documentary.

lmfao

 

[Phrossack]

From #fiftychat

23:54 OwenGlyndwr this onehas two of the illustrations
23:54 OwenGlyndwr in the middle is the story of a boy who won't stop fidgeting
23:54 OwenGlyndwr and consequently ruins his family's meal by pulling the tablecloth and all the food onto the ground when he falls

23:54 Lohrenswald WER LACHT JETZT KASPER

23:54 OwenGlyndwr on the edge is kaspar
23:54 OwenGlyndwr who won't eat his soup
23:55 OwenGlyndwr this is a disturbing bowl mang
23:55 OwenGlyndwr EAT THIS SOUP
23:55 OwenGlyndwr REMEMBER THE STORY OF KASPAR
23:55 OwenGlyndwr YOU WILL DIE IF YOU DON'T EAT THIS
23:55 OwenGlyndwr WE WILL GLADLY LET YOU STARVE
23:55 OwenGlyndwr SUCH IS OUR WAY

 

[Timsup2nothin]

So, on the edge the bowl says 'eat the soup or die', but when you eat the soup the option that you could have just spilled it is revealed in the bottom of the bowl. Fill this bowl with really awful soup and it becomes a true demonstration of cruel irony.

 

[sophie]

So, on the edge the bowl says 'eat the soup or die', but when you eat the soup the option that you could have just spilled it is revealed in the bottom of the bowl. Fill this bowl with really awful soup and it becomes a true demonstration of cruel irony.

No it's from a German children's book titled Der Struwwelpeter, oder, Lustige Geschichten und Drollige Bilder. (Shockheaded Peter, or: Funny Stories and Droll Pictures). It was a collection of children stories first published in 1845 intended to teach children to be obedient and listen to their parents, while also entertaining them in the most stereotypically German way possible: with horrible, traumatizing stories of children dying and having their body parts chopped off. The story in question is Die Geschichte vom Suppen Kaspar (the story of soup-Casper). Full text and translation below:

Der Kaspar, der war kerngesund,
ein dicker Bub und kugelrund.
Er hatte Backen rot und frisch;
die Suppe aß er hübsch bei Tisch.
Doch einmal fing er an zu schrein:
"Ich esse keine Suppe! nein!
Ich esse meine Suppe nicht!
Nein, meine Suppe eß ich nicht!"

Am nächsten Tag - ja sieh nur her!
da war er schon viel magerer.
Da fing er wieder an zu schrein:
"Ich esse keine Suppe! nein!
Ich esse meine Suppe nicht!
Nein, meine Suppe eß ich nicht!"

Am dritten Tag, o weh und ach!
wie ist der Kaspar dünn und schwach!
Doch als die Suppe kam herein,
gleich fing er wieder an zu schrein:
"Ich esse keine Suppe! nein!
Ich esse meine Suppe nicht!
Nein, meine Suppe eß ich nicht!"

Am vierten Tage endlich gar
der Kaspar wie ein Fädchen war.
Er wog vielleicht ein halbes Lot -
und war am fünften Tage tot.

Translation:

Spoiler :

Little Kasper was fit and healthy
A fat little boy, round as a ball.
He had baked good, red and fresh;
Soup he ate gladly at the table.
But one day he began to cry:
"I won't eat soup, no!
I will not eat my soup, I will not!!
No, soup I will indeed eat not!"

On the next day what do we see!
Here he was a much leaner boy.
But once again he begins to cry:
"I won't eat soup, no!
I will not eat my soup, I will not!!
No, soup I will indeed eat not!"

On the third day, oh no!
Our little Kasper has turned thin and weak!
But as the soup is brought inside,
Again little Kasper begins to cry:
"I won't eat soup, no!
I will not eat my soup, I will not!!
No, soup I will indeed eat not!""

On the Fourth day
Little Kasper was naught but skin and bone.
He'd shrunk down, perhaps half in size -
and the fifth day brought his sad demise

Apologies for the liberties/inconsistent rhyming .

The pictures around the bowl are the illustrations that accompanied the book detailing the events of the story. So the implications are kind of disturbing. A family sits down to eat soup and presents their child with this bowl as a reminder to eat your soup or you'll end up dead like Kasper. You know. For kids!

 

[Timsup2nothin]

While your translation was more true to the original...and I thought you maintained the rhyme and meter better than anyone has a right to expect...I think mine (eat soup or die) got the gist of the plot.

 

[Borachio]

Of course, as a mememto mori, the soup bowl could have revealed that eating the soup will also result in death. Eventually.