plarq
Crazy forever
So you seduce her, abusing your friendship and her trust in you?
Can a single man be friends with a married woman?
- Thread starter Disgustipated
- Start date
Disgustipated
Deity
I hardly seduced her lol. I'm a nerd. nerds don't seduce anyone. I asked her for sex, she said yes, and we did it. It wasn't exactly romantic.
believe it or not, women are capable of making decisions for themselves. Sometimes I think you guys are stuck in the 19th century. Some of you guys' views of women seem very outdated.
believe it or not, women are capable of making decisions for themselves. Sometimes I think you guys are stuck in the 19th century. Some of you guys' views of women seem very outdated.
Angst
Rambling and inconsistent
The women's views on themselves are usually the thing that's outdated.
plarq
Crazy forever
I wouldn't ask sex if I'm not romantically involved, I'd rather masturbate.
Yared
That Guy
Do you think that a female friend of yours, Plarq, would automatically consent to sex with you just by asking?
plarq
Crazy forever
No, I guess I learned enough from the girl in my office.
Yared
That Guy
So you agree then that females have their own choice on whether or not to have sex with someone?
Mango Elephant
Deity
lol I didn't read the entire thread, but did someone say that women did not have a say in who they had sex with?
Yared
That Guy
I might have understood this incorrectly but there seemed to be an insinuation that Disgustpitated used his and the woman's friendship to some how manipulate her to having sex with him and that this was something bad.
plarq
Crazy forever
Well that was a misread. OP and the woman previously had sex.
Shaihulud
Deity
Now that I know you slept with her, I could understand the guy's concern, but it still smacks of insecurity and hard to believe that a guy would dare show, you sure its not the girl saying that? To avoid you?
Disgustipated
Deity
possible, but unlikely considering their history. She divorced him because he was controlling and she wasn't able to have a life outside of the marriage. He doesn't even like her to have female friends. He feels a woman's entire life should be centered on the family. He's from another country, so their cultural views of women are much different than us American's views. They really do believe women should not have any social life outside of the marriage.
And no I did no manipulate her. Manipulation would imply I lied to her or lead her on in some way. I did not do that. She knew my intentions all along. She knew I was physically attracted to her, and wanted to be more than friends. It's really a weird situation to explain. We were actually dating. But we were also friends. It was easier for her to think of it as being friends, so she didn't get too nervous on the dates. But technically we were more than just friends in the beginning, yet we were just friends. That probably makes no sense LOL
This is why sex is a good thing. It lets people know if they are compatible or not. We discovered we are not compatible in this way. So while I originally did have romantic intentions, I no longer do. I realize she isn't the right person for me.
I think of her more like a sister. We both grew up without parents in a way, and we both had lonely childhoods and we grew up "in our own little world". It's weird when you discover someone who is almost exactly like yourself. I have never met anyone like myself in 37 years, aside from her. So while I could end the friendship, I'd rather not. It's not often you find people you can really identify with.
And no I did no manipulate her. Manipulation would imply I lied to her or lead her on in some way. I did not do that. She knew my intentions all along. She knew I was physically attracted to her, and wanted to be more than friends. It's really a weird situation to explain. We were actually dating. But we were also friends. It was easier for her to think of it as being friends, so she didn't get too nervous on the dates. But technically we were more than just friends in the beginning, yet we were just friends. That probably makes no sense LOL
This is why sex is a good thing. It lets people know if they are compatible or not. We discovered we are not compatible in this way. So while I originally did have romantic intentions, I no longer do. I realize she isn't the right person for me.
I think of her more like a sister. We both grew up without parents in a way, and we both had lonely childhoods and we grew up "in our own little world". It's weird when you discover someone who is almost exactly like yourself. I have never met anyone like myself in 37 years, aside from her. So while I could end the friendship, I'd rather not. It's not often you find people you can really identify with.
Yared
That Guy
Haven't you mentioned her before?
Disgustipated
Deity
yes I have.
anyways I've decided to let what happens happen (what I should always do). Sometimes things are out of my control, and you just have to accept what life gives you.
The thread is focusing too much on my one issue (and I shouldn't reveal so much personal detail lol), I'd like to hear other people's experiences with this as well.
anyways I've decided to let what happens happen (what I should always do). Sometimes things are out of my control, and you just have to accept what life gives you.
The thread is focusing too much on my one issue (and I shouldn't reveal so much personal detail lol), I'd like to hear other people's experiences with this as well.
MagisterCultuum
Great Sage
I certainly hope so, although I fear that marriage may make a particularly close friendship somewhat imprudent.
As some of you here might remember, last February I got back in touch with my (unrequited) first love. I've still only actually seen her in person twice during the past six years, but we email an talk on the phone pretty regularly. I'd consider her my best friend, as she is the only one I'm comfortable calling up just to talk and I've shared more with her than anyone. I still love her but she is like a sister to me now, not someone with whom I'm hoping to have a romantic relationship. She is still very physically attractive, but when we've spoken recently she seems too much like family to think of sexually. (I confess that when we haven't talked in a while she may still occasionally pop up in sexual fantasies or dreams. However this still never involves her cheating on or leaving the boyfriend she clearly loves, but rather them having an open relationship and inviting me for a threesome or foursome.)
Anyway, she has been with the same boyfriend for almost 5 years. Right now she is in England with him, where she went to spend the second half of Christmas break with his family (whom she hadn't seen in 3 years and he hadn't seen for a year and a half). I learned a few hours ago from facebook that while there he proposed, and she said yes. I can see several picture of her wearing a very nice sapphire and diamond engagement ring and an extremely genuine smile.
I haven't actually met him yet, but from what I've heard and read on facebook it seems like I'd get along better with him than anyone else she ever dated. It seems like his personality is across between hers and mine. He is not physically attractive (I look way better), but does have a very kind smile and a quirky sense of humor. The Silmirilion is among his favorite books. He is ethnically an Ashkenazi Jew and still tries to keep kosher and celebrate all the Jewish holidays despite the fact that his family has been Anglican for generations. He is originally from South Africa but has lived in about a dozen countries and traveled to a lot more. He graduated near the top of his class at Oxford University and worked for IBM for a while, but as he was approaching 30 he got tired of the cubicle and decided to become a medical doctor. They met in a chemistry lab at Georgia State University, where he was a Pre-Med and a Chemistry/Pre-Pharmacy major. He is now in his third year of Medical School at the Medical College of Georgia in Augusta and she in her third year of Pharmacy School at the University of Georgia's satellite campus in that town. As of this October he still had no idea what medical specialty he wants to choose.
They were in a serious relationship the whole time we've been good friends (although I've known her more than twice as long as he has), so hopefully this next step in relationship won't effect our friendship too much. Still, I think I need to try to spend more time with them together rather than her alone and try to be friends with him too now.
As some of you here might remember, last February I got back in touch with my (unrequited) first love. I've still only actually seen her in person twice during the past six years, but we email an talk on the phone pretty regularly. I'd consider her my best friend, as she is the only one I'm comfortable calling up just to talk and I've shared more with her than anyone. I still love her but she is like a sister to me now, not someone with whom I'm hoping to have a romantic relationship. She is still very physically attractive, but when we've spoken recently she seems too much like family to think of sexually. (I confess that when we haven't talked in a while she may still occasionally pop up in sexual fantasies or dreams. However this still never involves her cheating on or leaving the boyfriend she clearly loves, but rather them having an open relationship and inviting me for a threesome or foursome.)
Anyway, she has been with the same boyfriend for almost 5 years. Right now she is in England with him, where she went to spend the second half of Christmas break with his family (whom she hadn't seen in 3 years and he hadn't seen for a year and a half). I learned a few hours ago from facebook that while there he proposed, and she said yes. I can see several picture of her wearing a very nice sapphire and diamond engagement ring and an extremely genuine smile.
I haven't actually met him yet, but from what I've heard and read on facebook it seems like I'd get along better with him than anyone else she ever dated. It seems like his personality is across between hers and mine. He is not physically attractive (I look way better), but does have a very kind smile and a quirky sense of humor. The Silmirilion is among his favorite books. He is ethnically an Ashkenazi Jew and still tries to keep kosher and celebrate all the Jewish holidays despite the fact that his family has been Anglican for generations. He is originally from South Africa but has lived in about a dozen countries and traveled to a lot more. He graduated near the top of his class at Oxford University and worked for IBM for a while, but as he was approaching 30 he got tired of the cubicle and decided to become a medical doctor. They met in a chemistry lab at Georgia State University, where he was a Pre-Med and a Chemistry/Pre-Pharmacy major. He is now in his third year of Medical School at the Medical College of Georgia in Augusta and she in her third year of Pharmacy School at the University of Georgia's satellite campus in that town. As of this October he still had no idea what medical specialty he wants to choose.
They were in a serious relationship the whole time we've been good friends (although I've known her more than twice as long as he has), so hopefully this next step in relationship won't effect our friendship too much. Still, I think I need to try to spend more time with them together rather than her alone and try to be friends with him too now.
Fanatic Noob
King of Noobism
Can men be friends with a married woman? Sure, why not. Hope you not mean so called "f-word-adjective friends" 
