Civ3 Limericks

[Bamspeedy]

Xerxes was circling me like a vulture
Hammarabi was pressuring me with culture
Alexander is stealing my fur

Shaka wanted in, simply
so he could use his impi
but before you guys get all 'pimply'

look behind you boys
it's my friend Abe with his air toys
and Bismark with his tank toys

 

[SirJethro]

There are a thousand clues that I play too much Civ,
And hundreds more I'm sure I could give,
But time's running short,
So my games I'll abort,
Turn off my computer, and LIVE!



Uh...well...maybe just one more turn first....and then I'll turn it off.

 

[Zcylen]

Oh Liz my dear!
I humbly request from you Bank
but she angry took her spear
and whiped me and my tank

 

[Zcylen]

I went to London last week
For in Liz affairs I wanted to peek
Then I gladly found with a smirk
She was taking her bath in milk!

 

[Zcylen]

Catharine and Abe
a nice couple they seem
althoug Cathy is not a babe
Abe isn't either 17

 

[Zcylen]

Liz requested a luxury in my shop
and she almost nuk my capitol city
after I gave her a soap
affraid, I signed a peace treaty
and asked her I'll show you mine If you show me yours
and now we spend the days lying in the floors

 

[Zcylen]

Some people like Joan
and some other like Liz
I say the french ruler is fine to move on
but with the queen you can blitz

 

[Zcylen]

When Shaka asked for money
I said: good manners to him I'll teach
so he came closely in his poney
and I told him : GET OUT OF HERE YOU SOB!!!

 

[Zcylen]

Here we go again, to start a new game
to keep awake a little bit
and one more turn I'll say again
until Xerxes I can defeat

 

[Bobela XII]

Xerxes was sitting on his throne
I was hearing him groan
I asked him what was wrong
And he told me Cathy showed him her thong
Just thinking about it I started to moan

 

[Bobela XII]

Mao had a resource called cheese
I said could I have it pretty please
Mao said not in a million years
So I told my soldiers over here
The resource they would sieze

 

[Mad Bomber]

Originally posted by Bobela XII
Mao had a resource called cheese
I said could I have it pretty please
Mao said not in a million years
So I told my soldiers over here
The resource they would sieze

Mmm, the Power of cheese

 

[xavitor]

There once was a leader named Lincon
I knew just what he was thinkin'
I wanted no war
offered gpt and more
but my ships next turn he was sinkin'

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

If you want an easy to play game, say I
Just turn yourself into an AI
share maps, ROPs and techs
(ask the firaxis execs-
and not me, "This sounds cool, so how may I?")

Fearing a culture defection,
I sent armies in France's direction,
But- typical France-
They took a peaceful stance
And asked for my mutual protection.

Musing on modern Iran,
I think back how the whole thing began,
Bargaining with Xerxes
It just never works he's
More stubborn than the Taliban!

 

[Pillager]

Originally posted by Pillager
I started in 4000 BC,
Some land was all I could see,
I set off my scout, to look all about,
And to my delight I discovered the sea!

I plonked down my city right there,
And built as quick as I dare',
Still on my tod, scout continued to plod,
Until I saw a sight oh so rare!

to be ctd...

There 'mongst the hills and the grass,
Just past a large mountain pass,
Cattle and wheat, oh how, how sweet,
Unhappiness there will be scarce.

The city thus started its life,
And survived many troubles and strife,
It grew at a pace, for the settler race,
And is now a true fountain of life.

to be ctd...

 

[Zcylen]

The one-more-turn virus?
a newbie asked me
and I told him that' s serious
if play too much you wont flee

 

[Zcylen]

Xerxes wanted astronomy, democracy and spice
and give me just some wine
then I kick his a$$ twice
and that made me feel fine

 

[Zcylen]

There are many limerlicks
Jolly roger has eleven
while one has four four seven
chieftess also has one
as same as the sultan

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

If you like to make fun of the Zulus,
Please consider their bronzeworking UUs,
The sure footed Impi
Is anything but wimpy
Attack him with a horseman and you lose!

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

These stacks of doom that the enemies pour on
Are quite easy and fun to make war on
Destroy nearby improvements
To limit their movements
Watch them go back and forth like a moron