Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Parto Uno:

[Fr8monkey]

I like my assassins like I like my rubber duck: Making little 'squeaky' noises when I squeeze them...

Damn that sounds wrong.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Don't all people make squeaky noises when they're being strangled?

 

[Narz]

I like my assassins like I like my rubber ducks : yellow & harmless.

 

[dwaxe]

I like my assassins like I like my rubber ducks: Less than five dollars.

 

[iamwlrs4]

I like my assassins like I like my rubber ducks: in the bathtub with me

Winner.

 

[warpus]

I thought that was too obvious too win, but word, thanks.

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods:

 

[iamwlrs4]

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods: Within reach of my grubby paws.

 

[Catharsis]

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods: sourced locally, and made right in front of me.

 

[dutchfire]

with bacon

 

[StarWorms]

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods: Large, warm and perfectly rounded home-made baps.

 

[Perfection]

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods: made by my mom.

 

[Fr8monkey]

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods: Warm dough drizzled with frosting.

(Ithink I need a vacation... I am disturbing myself.)

 

[Joecoolyo]

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods: When I make it

 

[Narz]

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods: Warm dough drizzled with frosting.

(Ithink I need a vacation... I am disturbing myself.)

No, don't leave!! Here, let me make you feel slightly less disturbed with yourself...

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods: made by girl scouts (Seniors please!) who give what's raised to a good cause!

 

[Snerk]

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods, with creamy fillings.

 

[choxorn]

I like my porn like I like my baked goods: covered with white stuff.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

I like my porn like I like my baked goods: hot cross buns.

 

[warpus]

I like my pornography like I like my baked goods: made by my mom.

And we have a winner!

 

[Perfection]

I like my women like a I like my dog:

 

[Narz]

I like my women like I like my dog : unafraid to lick balls in public!