depression

[scherbchen]

well, its a bit more serious that that.

kudos for caring and kudos for coming here and opening yourself up to some potential kind of ridicule.

I wrote a long post but it ended up being more about my experiences than your problem so I scrapped it and I'll try to keep it concise.

- seeing a doctor does not hurt as a rule of thumb. if he thinks about seeing one try and get him to do that. heck, try to get him to see 5 and pick the one he thinks will be most likely to help.

- most people who suffer from depression (and speaking from my experience as a person who has suffered from it) are not prone to talk about their problems in the first place ("I am fine") but much rather try and hide the issue. I did that only once and that was while being intoxicated (which is why the phrase "harder drugs" lit a bulb in my head and having adverse reactions to recreational drugs popped into my head. don't discount a substance abuse problem) but then again everybody is different. and again seeing a doctor won't hurt.

- try not to be too protective of your friend and, yes, that is a paradox. if he is depressive he will try to shut you out of his life as soon as you try to pry and when he is sober. the easiest way, imho, is to stay close by doing routine laddish stuff like playing video games or any other kind of hobby and sit down for a talk later on. a couple of beers only to loosen the tongue and then probe the waters. a difficult task for anybody.

 

[TheAlamo]

Anyways, if his "friend" really is considering suicide then he should check himself into the nearest inpatient psychiatric facility for a while. There's really nothing else that can be said, and I don't really see the need for this thread to stay open.

 

[scherbchen]

In my experiences and observations, depression usually has a pretty decent reason.

This is really just a "suck it up move on" situation

it surely always has a "decent" reason, very few people would subject themselves to the nastiness of this condition voluntarily. it might not always have an "obvious" reason, alas, which is why "suck it up" is a bad idea. especially as most depressives try to do just that. put on a smiley face, do small talk, don't get out of the house so you don't bump into anybody you know whom you'd have to convince of just how splendid you are doing. all of that takes a tremendous toll on somebody who is depressive. they want to "suck it up" or "man up" or "deal with it". they just bleeding well can't.

then they get home into their sanctuary, after having spent a tremendous amount of energy on appearing to be just fine, and they close the door and feel like drat for having lied and for being a pretender. the initial problem(s) are still there but now you have also deeived your friends. then your brother calls and you just don't have the energy to lie again and to put on a happy face so you don't answer the phone. he calls again. again you don't answer. all of that is a huge amount of emotional stress added to a being that is thinking "I should just plough through and suck it up" except they can't.

there are various reasons for suffering from depression and one them surely is "adverse events and outcomes". once it gets past a certain point "manning up" is just about the least useful advice you can give. it is the most obvious and you can bet that it will have occured to the person in question about 3 months sooner than you thought of it. about 10 times. a day.

 

[scherbchen]

Anyways, if his "friend" really is considering suicide then he should check himself into the nearest inpatient psychiatric facility for a while. There's really nothing else that can be said, and I don't really see the need for this thread to stay open.

-nobody needs your permission or medical opinion to keep this thread open, just ignore it or PM a mod.
-"friend"? really? where did those quotation marks come from and what do they mean?
-weird that not every suicidal candidate does not check himself into a clinic. you'd think that would cut down on suicide rates, right? if only I could find a flaw with that line of reasoning.... like, dunno, persons who are suicidal not wanting to keep on living or something. I'll come up with something. eventually.

all "the best" to you, though

 

[Synobun]

it surely always has a "decent" reason, very few people would subject themselves to the nastiness of this condition voluntarily. it might not always have an "obvious" reason, alas, which is why "suck it up" is a bad idea. especially as most depressives try to do just that. put on a smiley face, do small talk, don't get out of the house so you don't bump into anybody you know whom you'd have to convince of just how splendid you are doing. all of that takes a tremendous toll on somebody who is depressive. they want to "suck it up" or "man up" or "deal with it". they just bleeding well can't.

then they get home into their sanctuary, after having spent a tremendous amount of energy on appearing to be just fine, and they close the door and feel like drat for having lied and for being a pretender. the initial problem(s) are still there but now you have also deeived your friends. then your brother calls and you just don't have the energy to lie again and to put on a happy face so you don't answer the phone. he calls again. again you don't answer. all of that is a huge amount of emotional stress added to a being that is thinking "I should just plough through and suck it up" except they can't.

there are various reasons for suffering from depression and one them surely is "adverse events and outcomes". once it gets past a certain point "manning up" is just about the least useful advice you can give. it is the most obvious and you can bet that it will have occured to the person in question about 3 months sooner than you thought of it. about 10 times. a day.

We have been given no details besides "he did something stupid at school" . Therefore, man up.

Without further information, it is impossible to know if there is a valid reason for depression or not.

And fun fact here, I have been medically diagnosed with depression before, and you want to know how I got over it? Manning up. So no, at times, that advice is not the worst.

 

[Harbringer]

We have been given no details besides "he did something stupid at school" . Therefore, man up.

Without further information, it is impossible to know if there is a valid reason for depression or not.

And fun fact here, I have been medically diagnosed with depression before, and you want to know how I got over it? Manning up. So no, at times, that advice is not the worst.

That is not how depression works. Let me try to equate this to something, its like telling a man to just "mans up" and punch through a brick wall. He cant no matter how much he "mans up". Thats how severe depression is.

And this is coming from somebody who is going for there bachelors in psychology, because I want to help those who were as depressed as I was.

 

[TheAlamo]

Yeah except I seriously doubt hossam--his "friend" is genuinely depressed. It's normal to feel bad during/after something crappy happens to you. It's normal even to feel horrible. Suicidal it is not, but that's not indicative of depression. Maybe something else, but not depression. It sounds like he's simply having a hard time with an issue right now, and all he can be told is that it'll get better with time. It's the same as people who have recently lost a loved one. Not depression.

 

[Synobun]

That is not how depression works. Let me try to equate this to something, its like telling a man to just "mans up" and punch through a brick wall. He cant no matter how much he "mans up". Thats how severe depression is.

And this is coming from somebody who is going for there bachelors in psychology, because I want to help those who were as depressed as I was.

In that case, the medical professionals that I went to, which were multiple, are idiots, since a man going for a Bachelors on CFC OT is clearly superior to their official diagnosis.

 

[Heretic_Cata]

Give him a hug

It will help a bit.

 

[Birdjaguar]

Moderator Action: If you don't have something constructive to add, don't post.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[bhsup]

Moderator Action: Such advice is not needed

GIve me a warning for PDMA, because it was totally legitimate advice . Too many people are coddled today and doped up when they frequently just need a kick in the ass and to be told to get the hell on with their life.

 

[Perfection]

And you base this on?

 

[Annex]

And you base this on?

The increasing number of emo's.

 

[CaptainF]

CFC regulars are so masculine and no-nonsense. If only I could be as macho as them.

 

[TheAlamo]

It's only because we aren't potheads.

 

[CaptainF]

It's only because we aren't potheads.

CFC regulars are also known to only post information that pertains to the thread's topic of discussion.

 

[Synobun]

The increasing number of emo's.

Yeah, I see plenty of people who slit their wrists and are depressed, and you want to know why?

Because they don't get what they want.

So 100% agreeing with VRCW here (wow, who woulda thought that would happen?)

 

[azzaman333]

GIve me a warning for PDMA, because it was totally legitimate advice . Too many people are coddled today and doped up when they frequently just need a kick in the ass and to be told to get the hell on with their life.

If someone has depression, and you give them that "advice", at best things won't improve. More likely you'll just increase the stress and anxiety.

Yeah, I see plenty of people who slit their wrists and are depressed, and you want to know why?

Because they don't get what they want.

So 100% agreeing with VRCW here (wow, who woulda thought that would happen?)

They aren't depressed, they're sad. There's a massive difference.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

GIve me a warning for PDMA, because it was totally legitimate advice . Too many people are coddled today and doped up when they frequently just need a kick in the ass and to be told to get the hell on with their life.

Being pouty and suffering from clinical depression are two enormously different things.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

We have been given no details besides "he did something stupid at school" . Therefore, man up.

Without further information, it is impossible to know if there is a valid reason for depression or not.

And fun fact here, I have been medically diagnosed with depression before, and you want to know how I got over it? Manning up. So no, at times, that advice is not the worst.

There's no such thing as a "valid" reason for depression. Its not really a choice.

Telling people to "man up about it" makes you look like an insensitive ass. "Man up" is for suffering the consequences of your actions, or fighting back tears after you scrape your knees. You must learn to use this indictment correctly, if it is to mean anything at all.