You claim that the application of bureaucratic control through systematic violence is the most desirable way to organise society. If you're not a utopian, then what are you?
Firstly, I do not agree with your loaded definition. Bureaucracy is certainly a common feature of the state - in fact, it is one of the reasons why states are able to provide so many benefits which other social forms cannot. But it need not be ubiquitous across all aspects of society, and, in practice, is usually far more limited in scope than your hint at totalitarian control suggests. (Another point to note is that those who campaign for the interests of the weakest and the poorest in society are virtually unanimous in calling for greater levels of state intervention, as it is by far the most likely approach to yield real improvements in living standards.)
Furthermore, while the state's monopoly on legitimate violence provides a necessary backdrop for its powers, and while there are certainly many examples of this capacity being misused, it is far from being the case that the use of systematic violence is a necessary feature of state action. To the contrary, in many (most?) places around the world it is sufficiently rare that few citizens will ever see agents of the state commit any acts of violence whatsoever. (It's worth noting the actions of many avowed anarchists here - I have known perhaps 30 or 40 of them personally, and nearly all have been involved in committing acts of violence against police officers during protests/riots, many of them taking great pride in doing so, and several traveling around Europe to find new venues for their violence. Oh, and most of these people were living off state benefits at the time.)
Secondly, as I've already made clear in this thread and in previous discussions, I do not regard the modern state as some kind of end game for social development. It is simply the best model we have yet figured out. I harbour no illusions of its perfectibility, nor do I assume that it will always be the best model. What I can say with absolute certainty, however, is that states are ubiquitous in the world today, that there are innumerable cases of states providing enormous benefits to their citizens, and that nobody has yet given even a remotely plausible explanation of how we could keep those benefits whilst getting rid of the states themselves.
In this context, the aim should be to make states work better; refusing to cooperate with them on principle is just *urinating* in the wind.
On this account of legitimacy, illegitmate governments can still be good governments. And we fulfill our moral obligation only if we act in the way commanded by such governments.
Doesn't that suggest that this particular account of legitimacy is rather inadequate for the job at hand?