He scores four and misses from the spot, still not a quality striker.
Earlier this year, the Fifa general secretary Jérôme Valcke said something that gave a telling insight into the mentality of world football's governing body. "I will say something which is crazy – but less democracy is sometimes better for organising a World Cup," he said.
Far from it being a source of pride for Brazilians, many appear annoyed and embarrassed that their country is investing $13.3bn in staging a World Cup ahead of other priorities. "I can understand that people are not happy, but they should not use football to make their demands heard," Blatter said in response.
Even he should be able to see the irony in his argument.
Back in Zurich, a Fifa more used to countries fawning and falling over themselves to host the World Cup and gratefully embracing its demands when they do will be more than a little perturbed at what the next year might bring. Valcke, meanwhile, can take heart from the fact the next two World Cups are in Russia and Qatar. Not so much danger of troublesome democratic protest there, at least.
But suspicions that the construction companies – a main source of kickbacks for politicians – will be the main beneficiaries of the tournament have grown, particularly in Rio, where the Maracanã stadium has been refurbished for the second time in a decade at a cost of more than 1bn reals (£295m). It was rebuilt with public money, but the concession to run it has been offered to a private firm, covering barely a fifth of the costs.
Meanwhile, Fifa has announced record revenues from broadcasting rights and corporate sponsorship for 2014 – none of which will go to Brazil's public coffers. With negative headlines also related to evictions and poor engineering quality, the growing public unease alarmed many in the sport even before the protests began.
With public fury now on full display, football's leading lights also seem divided about how to respond. The Fifa president, Sepp Blatter, and Pelé – the superstar turned MasterCard ambassador – have drawn derision by calling on protesters to decouple the Confederations Cup and the demonstrations.
As one banner, held aloft by a football-loving protester – Leandro Ferreir – said on Thursday: "We don't want a country that is beautiful only for gringos."