How do you manage your emotions?

[Kaitzilla]

Turning 30 also makes your emotions calm the hell down.

That's why almost all countries require you to be 30 or 35 before you can be President!
Makes sure you get a mature adult in charge.


Also, the 3 2 1 method is pretty good for calming anger.

Spoiler :

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Someone would need to define "unwanted" emotions here.

Emotions you don't want.

Examples:

"I don't want to feel this way."
"It is unproductive to feel this way."
"It is dangerous to feel this way."
"I can't handle feeling this way."

Real-life example: When I was sitting at a table at the funeral home after my grandmother died, I had to deal with one of the most despicable people I have ever met - the funeral home employee who tried to guilt me into spending more than my dad and I could afford even after blatantly lying to us about what the "basics" were.

All I wanted to do was go home and cry, and the friend who had brought me there handed me a box of kleenex and told me to go ahead as they expected people to cry. I told her this was a business meeting and I couldn't afford to allow myself not to have as clear a head as possible in those circumstances. The funeral home employees were there to get as much of my money as they could. They didn't give a damn about the grief my family was going through, or that we were financially strapped and couldn't possibly pay the thousands they wanted.

In short, at that point I could not afford to feel grief. At that point grief was an unwanted emotion and would have been dangerous to give in to as I don't handle it well. So it had to be stuffed down until the negotiations were over and a new agreement drafted and signed.

 

[TheMeInTeam]

After going through some life threatening stuff I gained enough perspective that I can generally just straight up logic tank it. I use meditation only when something atypical is bothering me. That said, I'm probably opposite side of spectrum from those who get high/low swings. My highs aren't very high, and the lows aren't very low.

 

[Birdjaguar]

My emotions rarely reach the point of getting out of control. I am pretty even keeled. I do indulge them from time to time and explore them, think about what's going on or what would be fun to do, but rarely act on them if the action would be negative. I do swear at other drivers who surprise me with crazy acts, but that is mostly from the surprise. I do like to turn my emotions into words.

 

[Kaitzilla]

How did I forget to make Cursing an option!?
Adding it now.

True story, I didn't start cursing until I was 18, not one time.

 

[Kyriakos]

Well, tbh, if one is a writer, then they'd better have (some; too much will literally ruin you) access to the dark and unknown parts of their mental world -- otherwise writing is just vanity (while this way it is a vain miner actually examining an unknown mine).
And usually the main way of reaching the deeper strata is through some collapse. And in the mental world those tend to form through emotions (Guy de Maupassant is very good at talking about how 'horror' is a collapse of the formations one was familiar with in thinking/feeling, etc).

 

[The_J]

Emotions you don't want.

Good example you have there.

But most of the times it's more like that you don't want the underlying thing to have happened.
e.g. my car breaks, then I'm angry. I should be angry about this, that is okay, the underlying emotion is not the problem. But the fact that my car broke is the problem. I can deal with being angry for some time.
It'd be a problem if I was all the time angry (or sad, or whatever else) for no apparent reason, or just without a big reason. That I'd classify as unwanted feelings too (additional to the bad recurring thoughts).
So I don't have any of these, so nice for me , but yeah, they do exist.

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

I mostly internalize and don't tell anyone, but I've opened up a lot more over the past few years, with family, friends, and partners. There was a time in my life I used tobacco or Xanax + alcohol or self-harmed to chase the worst, and some of those are still awfully tempting on the lowest days. I get pretty extreme shifts still. I try to keep busy if I notice things get bad. Go for a drive. Play Overwatch. Etc. It's hard. I still let them ruin me sometimes. But I don't do nearly as much stupid stuff to my body anymore. I do need to work on communicating and expressing my feelings. I'm not a violent person so I don't worry about hurting others. My issues is actually that bottling them up and rolling over for people hurts myself.

 

[Narz]

I wanted to vote for more than 3

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I wanted to vote for more than 3

Your use of the smiley indicates that you were experiencing a negative emotion at the time of the post.

Did you want that emotion? Is it gone now?

(I agree, btw; I could easily have checked off several more boxes.)

 

[Smellincoffee]

I don't use many besides the AOL basics: , , , , ) and a couple a friend taught me: (O_O, o_O). Here I also use . I'm too lazy to poke about in the menu, though, so I just use one I know the keyboard shortcuts for.

 

[Kyriakos]

I mostly get by with

 

[Terxpahseyton]

My problem is that I am too open with my emotions. Not the opposite.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Apparently this thread is about emotions and not emoticons.

Whoops?

I had to learn emotional control as a kid because otherwise I would have had anger issues. I was a pretty old hand at suppressing emotions in public by high school. I also got fairly good at seeing myself as others saw me, mostly out of self-defense: my aim and object was to avoid attention. In college I encountered the Stoics and learned to deal with emotions rather than simply bury them. I keep in mind what I can control and what I can, and I monitor my thoughts and feelings to see if I'm dwelling on something that's irrational to dwell on. Combine that, empathy, and self-awareness and I do alright. Sometimes I still get a little moody, but that's why we have music.

 

[Kyriakos]

Emoticon control has some ties to emotion control Emoticons being mass-produced masks and all.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Emoticon control has some ties to emotion control Emoticons being mass-produced masks and all.

Every forum should have a good variety of smileys, so there's something between and .

Otherwise, it can be difficult to express the exact nuance of what one is trying to say, and misunderstandings can happen.

Misunderstandings can lead to anger, and anger is an emotion. So emoticons and emotions are definitely related.


But if anyone wants to know about managing emoticons, here's some advice: If you're the admin of a forum and are installing a new emoticon, make sure you don't give it the same code that's included in the code for the autocensor.

Unless you intend to, that is. When it's an accident, it can have extremely bizarre results.

 

[Tigranes]

There is a "Meditating" but no "Praying", I wonder why? Could have been included in somewhat patronizing Praying/Meditating option. So I have to go with "Other".

 

[Manfred Belheim]

Hmm... can I undo my votes?

 

[Moriarte]

Sometimes I intentionally swing back and forth between highs and lows while pausing in the middle. Little exercise, if you will - helps me get the feel for adaptation and return to the [desired] middle ground somewhat faster. I feel (and think) that having this speed of ability to restore is important. Initially, excessive presence in either high or low state gave me trouble so I dug up this solution.

 

[Kaitzilla]

There is a "Meditating" but no "Praying", I wonder why? Could have been included in somewhat patronizing Praying/Meditating option. So I have to go with "Other".

Ah, I forgot about praying.

I'll add it right now!

**EDIT**
Forgot to save, it is up there now.