How old are you? What is good about being your age?

When were you born?

  • Total voters
    104
Whiskey Lord, is that you? :mischief:

No, I know you don't mean it. And I think (edit: now know) Reindeer doesn't mean it. And I hope Terx doesn't mean it.

But even if no one is meaning it, somewhere in the collective discussion it's being meant. And we gotta hold ourselves and each other accountable when it's happening.
 
I still don't feel comfortable talking about my age. Mentally I want to be in no other place. Physically I want to be 18 again. Simple as that.
 
Did you know marathon runners peak physically at about 30 (men and women) and slowly decline such that by age 60 they are back down to where they were at 18?
 
@Hygro
I haven't taken anything of this seriously so far (well I do think it can potentially in principle be totally fine for a high schooler and 20-something to date, but I really do not want to drag a discussion about this into this thread). I am not concerned with others "stealing" women. If people do, that is just something I'll have to deal with naturally.
But yes of course women can be stolen. And it is fully legitimate to say "stolen".
I understand that a woman wouldn't approve of this POV, but she is also not supposed to, because it is not about her POV at this instance. When we talk about "stealing" women, then we exclusively refer to the male experience. In that experience, a woman can be stolen. Nothing to do with "rights" but as said plan and simple natural experience.
And yes of course guys agreeing on hitting rules can make this conflict easier for guys. A woman may prefer the guys fighting over her. It is an absolutely understandable sentiment to want the most options possible. Just as it is an understandable sentiment on the guy's part to want to ease the conflict over a woman.
But naturally, she can still dismiss the guy who is "allowed" to hit on her and pursue someone who isn't. No one is saying the woman has to shut up and accept what is graciously given to her by the consensus of the guys.
So frankly, I really don't see the problem.
 
@Hygro: I don't see anything offensive in what I posted: I was hinting at "agism," in regards to dating, but I don't "date," I have a significant other who is 12 years my junior who is also in my line of work. I have had special relationships but mostly with older women, andm as I have posted before 2/3rds of the people I associate with are female, and are all in leadership positions. Many ae folks I take orders from.

Gender has very little to do with my subjective transactions, but objectively it's there. People of all persuasions develop feelings for each other -- at all ages.
My brother met the love of his life at the age of 22. She is his age and they have five children and have been married for 26 years.

My friend is a wedding officiate she married two women in their sixties who have been together for over 35 years.

My dad's been married three times, my Uncle 4.

Just sayin'.
 
Not to be unfriendly Terx, but real talk for a second, you just used ~150 words to defend yourself and here's what I read you write:

  • You think this is about age disparity judgment.
  • You think this is about anyone judging you for how you might react to some guy "stealing" your women.
  • That it's about whether you are "taking this seriously".
  • You think men can lay ownership of women.
  • And that the women have no say in the matter.

I get the nuanced point you're trying to make. Yeah it's okay for guys to give other men feedback of what their behavior is doing to the dating market, and yeah that's a conversation guys can have amongst guys.

But nowhere except in satire do men get to have the mentality that men can negotiate ownership rights of women, or think that their swooping on a gal is the theft of another man's property. And I'm not even gonna be strict on it--if you said so and so stole some dude's girlfriend, that's not even what I'm criticizing--but I am saying that discussing women in general as commodities to be literally or hypothetically divvied up per the status of the other men as the deciding factor is super sexist.
 
Who said a thing about ownership?
How is ownership possibly an appropriate word?
It seems I should have used even more words ;)
But yes I do have trouble to convey myself at times, regarding number of words and clarity. :blush: It's better in German :p

edit: I believe it is called "dips". Not ownership for God's sake.
Also, I said women had no say in the matter?
No one is saying the woman has to shut up and accept what is graciously given to her by the consensus of the guys.
Click to expand...
How many words do I have to use?
 
Terxpahseyton said:
Who said a thing about ownership?
How is ownership possibly an appropriate word?
It seems I should have used even more words ;)
Click to expand...

Because you referred to "their daughters" which is a possessive that puts the rights of these young women's personhood on the parents of whomever it is you're in discussion with, and in using the word stolen and theft you are inherently discussing property which is an issue of ownership. Don't be playin' man, you can't get this one past me ;)

edit: caught your edit. That's what I mean, I see your nuance, but come on, that's just saying it's not sexist because she doesn't have to accept her objectification. No, it's the objectification that's sexist. Calling dibs is not what we're talking about. That's just friends non-competing.

@ReindeerThistle, I don't find what you wrote offensive. If someone else wants to get offended that's on them. But once the conversation unfolded, what you wrote got contextualized in a greater conversation that was as a whole steering straight sexist. So I had to speak up for a second, and we had to shake it out. :eekdance::banana:

And we did, so yeah brotha, carry on. :yumyum:
 
Hygro said:
Because you referred to "their daughters" which is a possessive that puts the rights of these young women's personhood on the parents of whomever it is you're in discussion with, and in using the word stolen and theft you are inherently discussing property which is an issue of ownership. Don't be playin' man, you can't get this one past me ;)
Click to expand...
It seems I can't, no matter what I meant (or - I am starting to believe - said).
Let's just say that I find your interpretation of what I said rather creative.
Okay I say a bit more: I meant that we would steal their daughters from the daughter's highschool boyfriends. Though in a way, a boyfriend always also steals a daughter from her farther I suppose.
Also, "my daughter" is something I can say weather my daughter is 10 or 60. So it s certainly not correct that my daughter or grammatical variants necessarily connote any kind of possession. And even if it refers to the rights of parents in the case of a minor, I still find possession a very strong word, to put it mildly.

A little conclusion perhaps: I very much agree with you that to treat or view women as property is highly objectionable. So much, that - perhaps in my naivety - this is something I find goes without saying.
I must however very much disagree with you that to talk about stealing women necessarily had any connection to a notion of women as property or commodity whatsoever. And I highly suspect that certain feminist circles are just too thick-headed and narrow-minded in their agenda-driven thinking to realize that.
 
My feminist friends think I'm somewhat misogynist. None of us can win. But I invite you, someone who isn't at least somewhat enlightened on the topic, to reflect on not just what you're writing but also on how you're writing, and the context of the rest of the conversation, and how it ended up being the biggest offender of what was, under certain light, a discussion gone wrong.

On the other hand, there was this whole other thread of the conversation that was not about women but about ages in context of women and that's on me to not take that as the locus of the recent discussion.
 
JoanK said:
This statement is further proof of the historical domination of thought by the white heterosexual male. Bring forth more crosses and nails!
Click to expand...

Quite frankly, Joan, if gay people need to ask, "what is a [same gender]?", I think the world is lost. :)
 
In the world of today, one has to ask those questions. When people can legally change their gender without changing their genitalia, plenty of seemingly redundant questions make plenty of sense.
 
For 'gender', read 'gender/sex/other romantic markers'. Today's personal identity scene is a lot more complicated than it ever used to be.
 
Perhaps it has nothing to do with gender. It is just persona attraction, and the other issues are just illusions.
 
I am 63 and the only good things are my knowledge built up over a lifetime and I am getting ready to retire next year.
 
Mbest95 said:
I am 63 and the only good things are my knowledge built up over a lifetime and I am getting ready to retire next year.
Click to expand...

Aaaaaaand just as you're about to retire, the very next day, the economy totally, utterly implodes and collapses, and you spend the remainder of your days working to survive. 'Cuz let's face it, life's a <snip>, then you die. Simple as that. :mischief:

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