[RD] I'm transitioning. If you've ever been confused about the T in LGBT, ask me anything

[jackelgull]

I never heard that there was such a flag until you mentioned carrying one. Maybe if people make mistakes, you could take the opportunity to politely correct them and explain about the flag, instead of just getting angry?

I just want to point out that while a "believe better in your fellow man" is a good philosophy, when other people tell you this, it feels like they are invalidating your feelings, and telling you that you have no right to feel the way you do.

 

[sophie]

Two of us responding didn't even know such a flag existed and none of us responding could identify it so I think it's still not very well known let alone universal.

Well now you do.

 

[Omega124]

Two of us responding didn't even know such a flag existed and none of us responding could identify it so I think it's still not very well known let alone universal.

Or maybe the people who do understand what it means don't feel a need to justify their (lack of) ignorance on a topic, as if they don't feel personally insulted that someone said people should know something they happened to not know.

As I asked multiple times, what more could have I reasonably done to establish my femaleness, knowing that I'd interact with most people for less than a second? There gets to a point where I literally can't be any more obvious and people still misgender me. Do you want me to constantly screech "I'm a girl REEEEEEE" at the top of my lungs every other second? Get a potato gun and shoot phamplets into the crowd?

No. There is a point in which I'm clearly doing everything I physically can, and I'm not going to be gaslighted into thinking I'm the one at fault because some people here are too old and/or sheltered to know what a very common flag means.

 

[NovaKart]

Or maybe the people who do understand what it means don't feel a need to justify their (lack of) ignorance on a topic, as if they don't feel personally insulted that someone said people should know something they happened to not know.

As I asked multiple times, what more could have I reasonably done to establish my femaleness, knowing that I'd interact with most people for less than a second? There gets to a point where I literally can't be any more obvious and people still misgender me. Do you want me to constantly screech "I'm a girl REEEEEEE" at the top of my lungs every other second? Get a potato gun and shoot phamplets into the crowd?

No. There is a point in which I'm clearly doing everything I physically can, and I'm not going to be gaslighted into thinking I'm the one at fault because some people here are too old and/or sheltered to know what a very common flag means.

I don't think there's anything you could have done really and that's not your fault. That's just how it is.

I don't think the transgender flag is as well known to most people as you're assuming.

My sister is very progressive, lives in New York, works in the arts and knows some transgender people and even she hadn't heard of it.

At least I and some other people now know there is a transgender flag and what it looks like so that's some progress anyway.

 

[Cheetah]

Add me to the list of people who had never heard of such a flag existing.

Think I'll remember it now though.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

I would guess that it's a fairly reasonable expectation that the kinds of people who would make the effort to attend a women's march are more likely to recognise the flag than the average Joe though. I still wouldn't like to estimate exactly how likely "more likely" is in this case though, but I'd still think more likely.

(for the record, I also never knew there was such a flag)

 

[emzie]

Changes in muscle mass happen on HRT (FtM gain, MtF lose). I've lost some weight, but I don't know if that's related.

9 months later, yeah, I lost a ton of muscle strength.

 

[Chukchi Husky]

Recently I heard a rant from someone I know about people who are transgender. I don't know how much detail I should go into, but it ended with them saying that being transgender is unethical and that anyone who disagrees isn't open minded.

 

[AlpsStranger]

How in the world could being transgender be unethical? I don't even... how does it harm or inconvenience anyone else?

 

[Farm Boy]

TIL. Thank you for the information about the flag.

 

[Mouthwash]

How in the world could being transgender be unethical? I don't even... how does it harm or inconvenience anyone else?

I think that all ethical systems hold that aggressing against others is not the only bad thing you can do. There's a huge difference between being punishable and being immoral.

 

[W|M]

Well it is punishable in a lot of places, but it shouldn't be

 

[sophie]

Well it is punishable in a lot of places, but it shouldn't be

It's also considered immoral in a lot of place, but that shouldn't be so either.

 

[sophie]

Well I suppose that depends on your definition of civilized.

 

[Chukchi Husky]

How in the world could being transgender be unethical? I don't even... how does it harm or inconvenience anyone else?

According to them, a person's physical gender is something "set in stone". If someone wants to "mutilate" themselves to change their gender, then they are delusional and should be put into a mental institution.

 

[sophie]

Why do you persist in picking fights where they don't exist?

Why do you insist on finding offense when there was none intended?

 

[Mouthwash]

Why do you persist in picking fights where they don't exist?

Your entry to this discussion wasn't even a teensy bit combative? It's not as if I was condemning it.

According to them, a person's physical gender is something "set in stone". If someone wants to "mutilate" themselves to change their gender, then they are delusional and should be put into a mental institution.

That's kind of a strawman.

 

[Cheetah]

9 months later, yeah, I lost a ton of muscle strength.

How... how does that feel?

As a guy who's, well, not terribly concerned about bodily strength, but still invested in at least maintaining what I have, noticing that I were getting weaker would be scary.

I guess you're feeling pretty good about it in an 'accomplishing goal' kind of way, so that must be pretty good. But do you notice that things you've been doing before (moving a sofa, or just an iron pan or something) are actually harder? How does that in itself feel? Do you ever wish you could transition and still keep your strength?

 

[sophie]

I fail to see your point about "definition of civilized." I consider Canada to be a civilized country, and it is neither punishable nor "officially" immoral here to be a transgender person.

Of course I can't speak for the bigots we have here. Hopefully some of them will change their attitudes (it's unrealistic to say "all" because some people will never change).

It wasn't a knock on Canada. I was referencing: the US, specifically, but equally countries like France, which only last October removed a law mandating forced sterilization for Transpeople, while such a law still exists in, e.g. Belgium.

Granted my remark was a bit snappy, and if that upset you, I am sorry, it was not my intention. But I did find the way you were going about in the Transgender thread, acting as if everything is rosy - even in countries that at least de iure try to treat Transpeople as full humans - to be incredibly myopic and in poor taste, given the thread and its subject matter.

 

[Omega124]

Granted my remark was a bit snappy, and if that upset you, I am sorry, it was not my intention. But I did find the way you were going about in the Transgender thread, acting as if everything is rosy - even in countries that at least de iure try to treat Transpeople as full humans - to be incredibly myopic and in poor taste, given the thread and its subject matter

I really have to echo these sentiments. This is why I was so "snappy" to your "sensible, constructive advice": I never asked for it, and it was completely out of touch to the context of what I was saying. I understand you want to help me, but there is a point where, imo, you're just making things worse by trying to fight a losing battle.

According to them, a person's physical gender is something "set in stone". If someone wants to "mutilate" themselves to change their gender, then they are delusional and should be put into a mental institution.

I wonder if this person has any tattoos