The feeling I get is that the EU doesnt care if we stay. And who wants to be a member of a club that doesnt want you?
Err... Who in their right mind would want to make you to stay in a club YOU clearly don't want to be part of?
If anyone in the EU has any opinion about any of it, then the British tend to scream bloody murder. Or is it that the UK has been "insufficiently" courted and cajoled here?
The fundamental problem is that the UK CANNOT STAY in the EU unless a majority of the British public, and preferably by a GOOD margin (to give it sufficient stamina for any decision on the matter to stick) actively wants to stay. Or at least the UK cannot stay and hope remain a democracy for long.
You're already a member of the club. Does the EU "not want you"?
Well, you're the ones talking about leaving all the time. You're like the tricky girl-friend constantly darkly hinting things might be over between us soon, so as to keep you on your toes, forever unsure about the status of the relationship, always trying to make up for... something (usually an imagined slight)... endlessly courting and cajoling to mollify her.
And that said, Sweden (it's pretty well generalisable like that) REALLY, REALLY doesn't want the UK to leave. That would leave us alone to confront the Germans (who don't understand modern financial systems, like how modern banking is not having a vault full of gold) and the French (who do, but have a domestic politics scene that doesn't bode well for free trade and internationalism). So if the UK goes, that would instantly trigger a Swedish crisis of identity as a EU member state. It would mean Sweden eventually also has to make a choice, to leave like the UK, or stay and become more like some of the other EU member states. It's a toss-up.
Mind, the PROBLEM from this kind of Swedish perspective is not some kind of imaginary EU Giant coming to eat us, but the quite real problems of the political dynamics between EU member states and how that would change for us without the UK in the EU because that actually matters a damn sight MORE than Brussels does.
Though it's possible a member state has to be smaller than the UK to actually be able to discern how the dynamics work? The UK might be too insulated by its size, and so can get away with replacing fantasy for reality over what the EU is and how it works to rather a high degree.
That said, since the UK has size enough to insulate itself from the EU-level of things to a very high degree, it also HAS undeniable clout inside the EU (Sweden, which tends to agree with the UK on most things, if not all, profits here), yet somehow doesn't notice itself. Partly that seems to be beause British politicians have already largely managed to sideline themselves with regards to the processes going on inside the EU Cameron not least.