EnglishEdward
Deity
It seems that the SJWs have invented yet another form of thought crime to tell ordinary people off about;
it is in my opinion that it is exactly this sort of creativity that resulted in the election of Donald Trump.
Is not wanting to date trans individuals transphobic?
- Thread starter Ryika
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It seems that the SJWs have invented yet another form of thought crime to tell ordinary people off about;
it is in my opinion that it is exactly this sort of creativity that resulted in the election of Donald Trump.
Timsup2nothin
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Personal anecdote of perhaps limited relevance:
Spoiler :
Sometimes fear is actually a good thing.
innonimatu
the resident Cassandra
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Don't be unrealistic. We judge others all the time, on any number of things, and it is only natural that for some sexual preferences are important enough to judge on - specifically in this dating context that always happens.
There is a difference between not discriminating against, in a civic way, and not judging and making personal choices based on whatever features tickle each person's sensibilities. To demand the first is essential to have a nice society where people get along. To demand the later is to demand the impossible, that everyone should go about lying all the time to appear "virtuous" in following an impossible rule.
Evie
Pronounced like Eevee
There are valid reasons to not want to date transgendered people ; wanting children (in the old fashioned, genetic way) is one such. I mean, I'm never going to be able to have anyone's kids. Wish I could, but that's not in the cards. So if that's important for you, you and I wouldn't work out, and I perfectly understand not wanting to date me (so long as we're talking about serious long-term dating, anyway). Mind, technically it's not QUITE the insurmountable obstacle, with options like surrogate parents and the ilk existing. But it is a complication and I'm not going to crucify anyone who'd prefer to get their kids the old-fashioned way. There's also, in the case of pre-op and non-op individuals, the part about not having the bits you're looking for in a partner. I mean, I can see how that would be an issue.
Then there's the would-be-doctors who in their infinite wisdom diagnose us as freaks with a mental disease. They're transphobic. And a number of other, less complimentary terms.
In-between, there's the people whose answer is largely steeped into the image of transgendered people carried by the media (which often have more to do with drag queens/drag kings than actual transgendered people). They're likely not speaking from fear as much as ignorance, or lack of perspective. Their answer may well grow more nuanced as they become more familiar with transgendered people in time ; in their case. I'm not interested in condemning those people, personally.
Then there's the would-be-doctors who in their infinite wisdom diagnose us as freaks with a mental disease. They're transphobic. And a number of other, less complimentary terms.
In-between, there's the people whose answer is largely steeped into the image of transgendered people carried by the media (which often have more to do with drag queens/drag kings than actual transgendered people). They're likely not speaking from fear as much as ignorance, or lack of perspective. Their answer may well grow more nuanced as they become more familiar with transgendered people in time ; in their case. I'm not interested in condemning those people, personally.
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Please. We all know I'm way out of your league to begin with. I hear what you're saying expressed a lot. It doesn't escape my attention that half the guys expressing those opinions are attracted to me, and deeply uncomfortable with it.
xoxo
Emily
Evie
Pronounced like Eevee
Yeah, as a single Canadian lawyer specialized in immigration law, my dating prospects are the least of my worries XD.
civver_764
Deity
Yep, I admit that it makes me uncomfortable. If I knew that you used to have a penis and now you don't that would definitely be a game changer for me. Is that unfair? Yeah, probably. Is that transphobic? Yeah, I guess it is.
That's your issue, not mine. You're entitled to your own issues, lord knows you have a stockpile.
For what it's worth though, if you go back far enough, you used to have a vagina.
Evie
Pronounced like Eevee
Don't worry Civver 764, I'm more than happy to save you from the horrible fate of dating me 
Timsup2nothin
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Don't worry Civver 764, I'm more than happy to save you from the horrible fate of dating me
Are you a jerk-o-phobe?
Evie
Pronounced like Eevee
I'd have to be afraid of me then.
Terxpahseyton
Nobody
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I have to agree with civver a tiny bit. Wanting to be more like the other gender, I can somewhat understand. But cutting off your dick and balls and having them drill a hole instead? I have to admit that seems a bit mentally disturbed to me. I just have no access to a scenario where this is a perfectly healthy wish. Why do you need a pretend vagina? You are already a women, mentally, or not? Why do you need to be mutilated, only to appear more like a woman, in such a crass way? Sorry but it does seem sick me. I feel if you struggle with your identity, shopping of perfectly healthy body parts is not the way to go. And I also have to admit that the idea of a fake vagina grosses me out.
I am open to being called out as narrow-minded on this. Maybe I am. But this is just how it looks to me, as of now.
I am open to being called out as narrow-minded on this. Maybe I am. But this is just how it looks to me, as of now.
Jabarto
Emperor
Gender issues are complicated, and I won't pretend to understand them. I'll even admit that trans issues in particular confuse me to an almost uncomfortable degree.
I do know that there's a right way and a wrong way to express that sentiment, though, and using terms like "mentally disturbed", "pretend", "mutilated", and "fake" is very much the wrong way. Language like that really belies your attitude towards trans people.
Like I don't get gender dysphoria either (hooray for being straight and male), but it's a big deal to a lot of people and they get a lot of pushback for it so maybe at least take them at their word when they tell you what gender they are?
I don't like to use the term "narrow-minded", so I will just say that you are unenlightened.
I can't speak to the trans experience, other than the fact that I have listened to a couple of my trans patients. The situation is somewhat similar to my own as a lesbian. A trans person feels uncomfortable with their body and their internal gender and physical gender do not match up. That is all that I will say on the matter, lest I get something wrong and disrespect the trans members of the forum accidentally. In my case, I can sort of relate to the dis-congruity that a trans person feels. Growing up, there were certain preconceived expectations of me that I was very uncomfortable with, even in my own mind. I fought my sexuality for years. I just wasn't comfortable dating/sleeping with men, and I did not feel comfortable in my expected role. I expect that a trans person feels similar, only it is their gender that is the issue.
In any case, I get it, even though I can't express it well. I would date a trans person, no problem, as long as that person was M to F.
Terxpahseyton
Nobody
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Those words expressed either simple fact (it is a fake vagina, period) or best expressed my thoughts. As said I may be wrong thinking such things, but I do think them and am not convinced it is wrong to think them.
edit: x-post
edit: x-post
People have different experiences and nothing a person thinks or has an opinion on is inherently wrong to them. I'm not judging whether you are right or wrong in your opinion, but consider this: If you met and had an open, frank discussion with a trans person. Where they laid it on the line with you, so to speak, and gave you all of the detail about their struggle, and answered any questions you might have. Do you think your opinion might change just a little?
Manfred Belheim
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I think you might be wrong about the drill at the very least.
There's a whole thread for this, but the tl;dr answer is that having parts of your body that your brain is not expecting sensory input from can cause distress. If there were pills that alleviate that distress, that would be the therapeutic answer. There are no such pills.
Also there's no drills involved. It's more like your penis gets inverted if you really need to know.
Just plugging this: https://forums.civfanatics.com/thre...d-about-the-t-in-lgbt-ask-me-anything.564518/
Yes. Ouch.
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