It isn't unusual to not like what one does for money. Lectures (either on classical literature, or philosophy) are part of my paid gigs. After some years i am ok at it, if i can be bothered to give a crap - which i should, when it is paid work.
I do find it pointless, in that i am presenting something for a few hours, in a generally informal setting. Not that the actual presentation is of a worse level than at uni (many uni lectures are far worse), but it still is not tied to a course, nor to any larger progression; it is just lecturing/presenting stuff to an audience, for reasons of europhilia (ie wanting to be given a few more euros).
Distinction between more serious (let alone more serious in my own view) work, like writing my own stuff, and more routine/needed work like lectures or even translations, has been an issue, but that too is somewhat over with now. In general it is not great to have to move from one type of work to another, and things get lost. Sometimes, though, things may be picked up. Eg in the most recent lecture - yesterday - i thought of something about Borges that i hadn't thought before.
Still, a person of such high worth as myself simply cannot be made to present basic stuff again and again. I am wondering why i am not given a few thousand euros, so that i can stop giving lectures and translating, and can instead focus on my writing.
Ultimately, i think that giving lectures hasn't helped me at all. Well, it did help with some social stuff, but now it is just boring. I am also wondering if people make use of anything they hear during such a lecture. I know i couldn't care less about the majority of uni lectures, and avoided going to the amphitheatre when possible. I would pay attention to lecturers i did like. But at least that was a uni setting.
I sometimes think that the only one listening to me is the measly 20 euro banknote paid (on average) for each of the 1,5 hour lectures.
-Do you go to any lectures?
-Do you like lectures?
-The creatures outside looked from lecture to euro banknote, and from euro banknote to lecture, and from lecture to euro banknote again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.
I do find it pointless, in that i am presenting something for a few hours, in a generally informal setting. Not that the actual presentation is of a worse level than at uni (many uni lectures are far worse), but it still is not tied to a course, nor to any larger progression; it is just lecturing/presenting stuff to an audience, for reasons of europhilia (ie wanting to be given a few more euros).
Distinction between more serious (let alone more serious in my own view) work, like writing my own stuff, and more routine/needed work like lectures or even translations, has been an issue, but that too is somewhat over with now. In general it is not great to have to move from one type of work to another, and things get lost. Sometimes, though, things may be picked up. Eg in the most recent lecture - yesterday - i thought of something about Borges that i hadn't thought before.
Still, a person of such high worth as myself simply cannot be made to present basic stuff again and again. I am wondering why i am not given a few thousand euros, so that i can stop giving lectures and translating, and can instead focus on my writing.
Ultimately, i think that giving lectures hasn't helped me at all. Well, it did help with some social stuff, but now it is just boring. I am also wondering if people make use of anything they hear during such a lecture. I know i couldn't care less about the majority of uni lectures, and avoided going to the amphitheatre when possible. I would pay attention to lecturers i did like. But at least that was a uni setting.
I sometimes think that the only one listening to me is the measly 20 euro banknote paid (on average) for each of the 1,5 hour lectures.
-Do you go to any lectures?
-Do you like lectures?
-The creatures outside looked from lecture to euro banknote, and from euro banknote to lecture, and from lecture to euro banknote again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.
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