Random Rants Eighty-Four: Rants Gone Wild!!!!

[Birdjaguar]

Peas are the devil's vegetable. Just like broccoli.

Two of life's best green foods.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I was mugged by a pea once.

Well, you were probably somewhere you didn't belong.

 

[Takhisis]

I was mugged by a pea once.

Well, you were probably somewhere you didn't belong.

The Ankh-Morpork Post Office?

 

[Kaitzilla]

Who on earth are these atomic scientists who keep claiming we are 80 seconds from midnight on the Doomsday Clock?
As a fellow doomsdayer, I question their professionalism by focusing only on nuclear war and climate change.
There are lots of things that can off human civilization, not just 2!

Plus, the Bible clearly states that no man shall know the hour of The End, so having "midnight" be the metaphorical marker is just purposely irritating to Christians.
"We have never been closer to doomsday than now" is technically sound, but not very inspiring.

They need to mend their ways if they want the doomsday cults and regular people to take them seriously.

 

[cardgame]

Peas are the devil's vegetable. Just like broccoli.

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie

 

[Birdjaguar]

Peas; add a little butter, some salt and grab your knife.

 

[Commodore]

Well, you were probably somewhere you didn't belong.

Oh so now we are victim blaming are we?

 

[EgonSpengler]

I was mugged by a pea once.

Must've been mating season. Peas are normally quite docile.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Oh so now we are victim blaming are we?

Not victims in general, just you. I expect a certain level of paranoid awareness from you that would keep you out of situations where a garden vegetable could sneak up on you.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Who on earth are these atomic scientists who keep claiming we are 80 seconds from midnight on the Doomsday Clock?
As a fellow doomsdayer, I question their professionalism by focusing only on nuclear war and climate change.
There are lots of things that can off human civilization, not just 2!

Plus, the Bible clearly states that no man shall know the hour of The End, so having "midnight" be the metaphorical marker is just purposely irritating to Christians.
"We have never been closer to doomsday than now" is technically sound, but not very inspiring.

They need to mend their ways if they want the doomsday cults and regular people to take them seriously.

The peas are clearly up to no good.

 

[Kaitzilla]

The peas are clearly up to no good.

The conspiracy starts at 0:45.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Rant: Oh how I loathe Wikia/Fandom. And they bought out Gamepedia a while ago too.

 

[Zkribbler]

California is holding $4.80 worth of undescribed, unclaimed property of mine. I spent probably 20 minutes filling out the online claim form, only to be told that, for my kind of property, I had to claim it by mail. It costs IIRC ~$2.00 to send a letter to the US. Spending $2 to claim $5 isn't worth it.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

California is holding $4.80 worth of undescribed, unclaimed property of mine. I spent probably 20 minutes filling out the online claim form, only to be told that, for my kind of property, I had to claim it by mail. It costs IIRC ~$2.00 to send a letter to the US. Spending $2 to claim $5 isn't worth it.

One time these credit card jerks misread the cents on a check I wrote, somehow deciding that even though I owed them some dollars and fifty--eight cents I had sent them a check for that many dollars and thirty eight cents. So they sent me a bill for twenty cents. I called and told them that they could just wait until the next time I used the card, or they could jump off a cliff, or they could do whatever, but me sending them a check for twenty cents was pretty far out of the question. In their infinite wisdom they threatened to report my account as delinquent if I did not make "the minimum payment or pay the full balance, which in this case are the same."

I asked if they would take cash, and they said yes, so I took four nickles and my cut in slices credit card and embedded them in a rectangle of clear packing tape that fit in their envelope and was about half an inch thick, and sent it to them.

 

[Commodore]

Okay so I'm a bit of an idiot. My wife bought me one of those water picks as a Valentine's gift since I've been asking for one for a while. I tried it out tonight with disasterous results. The pick she bought me has 3 settings: normal, slow, and pulse. My dumb self decided "I want a really good teeth cleaning so I'll put it on normal." Well, having never used a water pick before, I was not prepared for just how powerful those little blasts of water can be. In my shock I jerked my head away and the pick shot a blast of water directly up my nose that caused my nose to bleed like someone had punched me.

To add insult to injury, when my wife realized what happened she started laughing so hard she could barely breathe. It was a little humiliating.

 

[JohannaK]

That's hilarious.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

Peas; add a little butter, some salt and grab your knife.

Then, after a quick vomit, all is well again.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Okay so I'm a bit of an idiot. My wife bought me one of those water picks as a Valentine's gift since I've been asking for one for a while. I tried it out tonight with disasterous results. The pick she bought me has 3 settings: normal, slow, and pulse. My dumb self decided "I want a really good teeth cleaning so I'll put it on normal." Well, having never used a water pick before, I was not prepared for just how powerful those little blasts of water can be. In my shock I jerked my head away and the pick shot a blast of water directly up my nose that caused my nose to bleed like someone had punched me.

To add insult to injury, when my wife realized what happened she started laughing so hard she could barely breathe. It was a little humiliating.

I thought you were army intelligence. A water pick up the nose is a standard interrogation technique, isn't it?

 

[Commodore]

I thought you were army intelligence. A water pick up the nose is a standard interrogation technique, isn't it?

Nah that's waterboarding and only those two-bit hacks at the CIA have to resort to that.

I did tell my wife though that if I were a drill sergeant that this would be a great way to wake up privates that are a little slow to get out of bed.

 

[Synobun]

Nah that's waterboarding and only those two-bit hacks at the CIA have to resort to that.

I did tell my wife though that if I were a drill sergeant that this would be a great way to wake up privates that are a little slow to get out of bed.

Waterboarding doesn't wake up my privates...