Random Rants LIII: F My Life

[The_J]

That's not really a problem, I think.
Apparently it went better than expected. She texted me today, to ask how it's going. So yeah, that seems to work.
The other one (the former), not sure about her though. It seems she still thought there could be something going. Or not. I don't know. I told her that she needs to clarify that, and needs to clarify that soon, because I might go with the later to dinner tomorrow.

More to the complications: The former is...uh...might be possible that she could age-wise be my mother (at least theoretically). And she's not that good looking (not a problem for me, I like her).
The later is only a bit older than me, and freakin' gorgeous.
So this probably makes me appear to be a dick.

This is all not easy.
Damn .

 

[The_J]

Okay, tried to get out of the former what she actually wants.
Seems she wanted more. Now not anymore.
Her last text was saying something about love.
WTH, we've been just randomly talking for 3 weeks.
Good point about this: There seems to be a communication problem, and personallity problem as well. Just doesn't fit. That was now at least sort of easy to find out.

Now, focus on the later.
There might be the same, gonna see.
And there's also still the question why she actually went out with me.
I'm at best average, she's awesome. Doesn't compute.

 

[Tee Kay]

Girl I like who probably also likes me lives in another state.

Meanwhile I've made things super awkward with most of my friends in this state.

 

[JohannaK]

Well, everything can be fixed (?)

Rant: my computer tends to crash every week or so as of now, but after the latest windows actualisation it won't let me access my user session, which is the only one on the damn computer, so I am pretty pissed off.

 

[Kozmos]

Girl I like who probably also likes me lives in another state.

Meanwhile I've made things super awkward with most of my friends in this state.

Same situation on both counts, sort of.

 

[JohannaK]

Also I don't remember ever not bleeding when pooping. Apparently this is not normal, but I used to bleed so much more... I should probably go to the doctor, I guess.

 

[The_J]

If you're sure that it's not due to physical damage, caused by...something you can...guess...then yeah, then you should.


My saga continues: The first one officially cancelled our friendship. The second one says I should get my stuff with the first one fixed before doing anything. The second one also says I should try with the first one again o_O.
I don't with the first one again, we obviously can't talk to each other (or not clear enough).

Options right now:
- Drop them both, don't give a crap about anything. Least preferred. Don't want to be a dick.
- Make them agree that I'm a dick, drop them both. They can get along again. Also not preferred, but definitely the easiest thing to do.
- Trying to sort out problems with #1, try to get something done with #2. Preferred, but absolutely no clue how.

#1 might leave the country in 3 months. #2 I might weekly see in the gym.

*sigh*
These 2 dates were virtually the only 2 dates I've ever had. And I've turned that into utter crap.
I just wanted to be happy .
Why did that have to happen???

 

[Arakhor]

Yes. Yes, you definitely should.

 

[H4run]

My saga continues: The first one officially cancelled our friendship. The second one says I should get my stuff with the first one fixed before doing anything. The second one also says I should try with the first one again o_O.
I don't with the first one again, we obviously can't talk to each other (or not clear enough).

Options right now:
- Drop them both, don't give a crap about anything. Least preferred. Don't want to be a dick.
- Make them agree that I'm a dick, drop them both. They can get along again. Also not preferred, but definitely the easiest thing to do.
- Trying to sort out problems with #1, try to get something done with #2. Preferred, but absolutely no clue how.

#1 might leave the country in 3 months. #2 I might weekly see in the gym.

*sigh*
These 2 dates were virtually the only 2 dates I've ever had. And I've turned that into utter crap.
I just wanted to be happy .
Why did that have to happen???

the second one seems giving you a signal, but of course she will not said "just leave her and be with me" that will make her seems quite, you know, not a good person. You should not take every woman words literally, you should understand also her condition and situation. Of course she will said "it is better if you are with her than with me" because what else can she say? At that moment you should show how you are sincere and persistent on your feeling to her.

I don't know our culture is different. I was also having girl friends back then, I remember having something similar like you, I aiming someone but I end up with her best friend. The only things that I can say to you is that, you should be honest about your feeling, and responsible for whatever you already started. If you feel you made a mistake to the first one, you should fix the relationship, talk to her, send her a gift, and tell her honestly that you feel that she is a good person but you can only be a friend, and make sure you separated with her in a good way, even if you are unable at least you already try your best, and she will leave the country anyway. Not any conflict can be heal directly, some conflict only time can heal, but generally speaking it will heal eventually. For the second one I think you should go to the process that you already started, you should be serious with her.

Just be open and honest to them but be polite, be honest doesn't mean you should tell unnecessary things (like talking about other girls or talking about your ex for example) it mean you just tell whatever it is in a good way without any pressure or stress to manipulate the condition or conversation. Make the conversation as the way it is but decorate it, woman like to be listen and they are like to hear good words, well many but not all of them.

Hope that help

 

[The_J]

This seems like a good idea, sounds all reasonable.
Time schedule is a problem though.
I'm going to text #2 tomorrow evening, because she'll have some important meeting, I'll ask how it went, and if we can meet, because I feel like (also festivities tomorrow). Should re-assure her.

For #1, she seems to be really mad (#2 also mentioned that). Said in her last email something about evil, which I really don't get. I've been, at best, just very stupid and ignorant, but not evil, I didn't plan that. #2 said I should maybe wait a bit. I sort of agree. Not sure if that is the right tactic though.
To apologize I'll really have to buckle down. Because I don't think I did anything obviously wrong (only in hindsight), but I'll need to make her believe that I've been an idiot (which might really be).
Not sure if I should send her something. Don't really know what she likes :/.
Also don't know when I'm going to do it. Think of waiting at least til Wednesday. Then I'll...er...email might be better than calling, then I have more time to think.
Might meet her by chance tomorrow, due to festivities. Hope that doesn't happen. Else I'll not know what to do.

Problem is also that I just...talk. I don't think too much about what I say, I just say what I think. Not the very best thing here.

My friends btw say that #1 overreacts. I agree with that too.
Damnit, we had not even kissed.

 

[cybrxkhan]

#The J: All I can say is, sounds complicated.

Also I don't remember ever not bleeding when pooping. Apparently this is not normal, but I used to bleed so much more... I should probably go to the doctor, I guess.

Go to the doctor, it is definitely abnormal. Usually for people with Crohn's like me, for instance, they say that having bloody poop is a definite sign the Crohn's is acting up. (In any case I've never had bloody poop, but it is something I watch out for.)

 

[ReindeerThistle]

Girl I like who probably also likes me lives in another state.

My gf lives four states away 11 months out of the year. If you want to, and if she's worth it, you can make it work.

For me, worth it!

 

[Phrossack]

This seems like a good idea, sounds all reasonable.
Time schedule is a problem though.
I'm going to text #2 tomorrow evening, because she'll have some important meeting, I'll ask how it went, and if we can meet, because I feel like (also festivities tomorrow). Should re-assure her.

For #1, she seems to be really mad (#2 also mentioned that). Said in her last email something about evil, which I really don't get. I've been, at best, just very stupid and ignorant, but not evil, I didn't plan that. #2 said I should maybe wait a bit. I sort of agree. Not sure if that is the right tactic though.
To apologize I'll really have to buckle down. Because I don't think I did anything obviously wrong (only in hindsight), but I'll need to make her believe that I've been an idiot (which might really be).
Not sure if I should send her something. Don't really know what she likes :/.
Also don't know when I'm going to do it. Think of waiting at least til Wednesday. Then I'll...er...email might be better than calling, then I have more time to think.
Might meet her by chance tomorrow, due to festivities. Hope that doesn't happen. Else I'll not know what to do.

Problem is also that I just...talk. I don't think too much about what I say, I just say what I think. Not the very best thing here.

My friends btw say that #1 overreacts. I agree with that too.
Damnit, we had not even kissed.

Ask 1 directly if she thought there was something going on between you. Talk about it. If she says yes, tell her honestly but tactfully that you didn't know that she felt that way. Talk with 1 about the relationship between the two of you. Forget about 2 until you have resolved the issue with 1.

Rant: I really think I'm in love with her. It doesn't help that she's lying down looking pretty next to the pool below me talking with a friend while I'm up on the balcony of the dorm doing a great big paper. I'm too busy. She's almost always busy. So busy that we rarely see each other, and it's been that way for over a year. I just want a moment alone with her to ask her out and get a clear yes or a no so I can move on, but stupid schedules...

And because of my stupidity, laziness, and crippling procrastination, I've this 7 or 8-page paper on the social aspects of sleeping sickness due Thursday. I haven't started, and it's not easy finding sources or stretching out a paper to be that long. Especially when most of the handful of useful articles require you to pay to see them.

 

[The_J]

If you're really that desparate with her, then ask her out for something via phone or email.
But maybe someone shouldn't take dating tips from me ^^.

Ask 1 directly if she thought there was something going on between you. Talk about it. If she says yes, tell her honestly but tactfully that you didn't know that she felt that way. Talk with 1 about the relationship between the two of you. Forget about 2 until you have resolved the issue with 1.

First things have already been said, and she was pissed of afterwards. And I don't want her anymore. We obviously can't talk.
And I've already sent another email to #2, to say that I want to go for it. Was apparently so badly phrased that she totally misunderstood it, and thought I was cruel to her.

Maybe I should try to get a girlfriend who speaks German. Might be easier.

 

[H4run]

And I've already sent another email to #2, to say that I want to go for it. Was apparently so badly phrased that she totally misunderstood it, and thought I was cruel to her.

the distinction of the words that you meant to say and what she catch is so radically different how you phrase it? That kind of letter you should treat it carefully and preciously, as I say decorate your words. Say it in a way that you like to hear it, but also don't be over, the key point is be natural, sincere and kind.

Maybe I should try to get a girlfriend who speaks German. Might be easier.

Miss understanding also common with those who speak the same language. The greatest relationship that I have is with the one who not speak my native language. And you speak English like a native, so language is not a problem for you I believe.

In communication language is not the most prominent things, in face to face conversation non verbal language like body gesture, your attention or even your intonation, speak more loudly than the words itself. While in email the way you chose words, put some smiley when you make a joke (to make a clear sign that this is a joke) is important to avoid miss understanding.

my own rant:

I'm so lazy to go to the bank. ufff

 

[JohannaK]

Rant: I know I am not funny. Doesnt mean you have to take me seriously when I forget.

 

[The_J]

???

[...]

Guess you're again right about most of that.

Good thing: #1 emailed me, for some clarifications. She's still pissed off, but well...
#2 got my clarification, so that's good to.

Sort of. As good as it can be right now.

my own rant:

I'm so lazy to go to the bank. ufff

...and *that* feeling I know just too well .
Currently I can't be arsed to do anything out of schedule on a normal day.

 

[H4run]

...and *that* feeling I know just too well .
Currently I can't be arsed to do anything out of schedule on a normal day.

I'm not doing anything today, not even go to bank I just sat at home, clicking and refreshing internet forum, reading random article and playing games. I guess my psychology say "enough school summer holiday already!" I should stop whining because I have a good life.

Yea tomorrow I must go to bank, if not I will not open civfanatic for a day.

 

[classical_hero]

My gf lives four states away 11 months out of the year. If you want to, and if she's worth it, you can make it work.

For me, worth it!

Why don't you move to where she is?

My rant is that it sucks waking up at 4pm because you aren't feeling well. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and it is frustrating to be searching for answers for over 7 years and no closer to getting better. Fortunately for the first few years things weren't too bad, but last few years have been a nightmare. I just wish I could wake up from it.

 

[Takhisis]

4 pm is post-lunch nap time, and as such I need to sleep. I totally sympathise.