Random Rants LXXXVI: OH, FUDDLE-DUDDLE!

[Valka D'Ur]

I usually spend between $6 to $9 for delivery. This cost $50, plus $10 in fees. Exorbitant... but availability is wide open, so I guess this is just the cost of getting what I need.

$50 for delivery?

Do you have a London Drugs anywhere within a reasonable distance? They carry some groceries, like cereal, soup, milk, various canned food items, and practical kitchen stuff.

I was trying to look up the name of a specific colour. I made the mistake of typing 'shades of grey' into Google Image Search. I guess I should be glad safe search was on.

I made a joke about "50 shades of grey" during a Voyager caption contest at TrekBBS. One of the stills was of Tom and Harry in their Captain Proton holodeck program. It's based on old black and white serials from the 1940s and 50s, so the entire holo-environment is black and white. Of course it made perfect sense to have Harry say, "Well, I'll be... there really are fifty shades of grey!"

Have you thought about fake choking sounds, followed by death rattle, phone falling to the floor & silence?

My theatre experience was backstage, making and wrangling props and costumes and trying to keep the cast from gobbling up any edible props. The sum total of my acting consisted of playing a member of the Royal Family when we put on our own version of the Royal Wedding in the summer of 1981, and years later I happened to be the nearest live body available during a blocking rehearsal to fill in for the guy playing Marley's Ghost in A Dish of Cream... and going by the reactions of the cast, I was not convincing.

I don't think I could pull off a convincing death over the phone. But over the years I have read about some ways to really annoy these people, and thought up a couple of my own.

 

[Cutlass]

I listen politely long enough to hook them, then I ask if they have just a minute to talk about something else that I'm curious about. Then I ask if their employer provides health insurance. When they want to know why I explain that I'm developing this device that can send a deafening shriek of feedback down a phone line and it matters because I'm really trying to hurt their employer more than them since I know they are just doing their job.

I actually think the device is doable, and not even all that complicated. It just requires a way to cancel the echo so it doesn't come back to my own earpiece.

Just use an air horn. If they're wearing headsets, it will cause enough damage.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Just use an air horn. If they're wearing headsets, it will cause enough damage.

I once used a pitch pipe, and another time I said, "Could you excuse me for a moment? I just need to do something quick and I'll be right back."

I said it so politely that they believed me, and then I put the receiver down underneath the extremely loud doorbell my dad hooked up for my grandfather, went to the front door, and leaned on the doorbell. It was a continuous ring kind, not the "ding-dong" kind of ring.

When I got back to the phone, I found that they'd hung up. Gee, I wonder why.

 

[Samson]

I listen politely long enough to hook them, then I ask if they have just a minute to talk about something else that I'm curious about. Then I ask if their employer provides health insurance. When they want to know why I explain that I'm developing this device that can send a deafening shriek of feedback down a phone line and it matters because I'm really trying to hurt their employer more than them since I know they are just doing their job.

I actually think the device is doable, and not even all that complicated. It just requires a way to cancel the echo so it doesn't come back to my own earpiece.

Is it? I have thought about that, and came to the conclusion that people that make headsets for cold callers must come across it (eg. the airhorn mentioned downthread). I assume that they would make the speakers unable to produce damaging soundwaves.

My solution is to express a naive interest in their product or service, then say "hang on, there is someone at the door", then leave the phone for a few minutes.

Do you have a London Drugs anywhere

The idea that any legitimate business would be called that is hilarious. It sounds like the name of a country lines gang.

 

[r16]

oh , my fast fingers pressed on a box in the poll while going around , ı have issues with the thread name and anything !

 

[H4run]

oh , my fast fingers pressed on a box in the poll while going around , ı have issues with the thread name and anything !

You should watch the Kedi documentary that I post in "Cat" forum, the one with English subtitle is not free, but the one without is free, maybe you can make a political translation out of it kanka

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Is it? I have thought about that, and came to the conclusion that people that make headsets for cold callers must come across it (eg. the airhorn mentioned downthread). I assume that they would make the speakers unable to produce damaging soundwaves.

My solution is to express a naive interest in their product or service, then say "hang on, there is someone at the door", then leave the phone for a few minutes.

The idea that any legitimate business would be called that is hilarious. It sounds like the name of a country lines gang.

Do you think employers running call centers out of the slums of Mumbai are springing for protective headsets? Of course the fact they are running call centers out of the slums of Mumbai is why hurting the person doing the calling and having no real impact on their employer doesn't interest me...

On the getting them to hang on a minute and leaving them hanging...I can top that. When the mood to screw them over strikes and I have the time....

I took one of the low interest credit card people on a total ride. I told them I was really interested but they had called my cell phone and I was in my car so they had to hang on until I got pulled over. I was actually reading this forum at the time, unsurprisingly. Read a couple threads and checked in with them, telling them I had pulled over to talk. When they got to the point I told them I did have one high interest credit card that I really wanted to get rid of. Of course they asked for the number, but I told them since I was trying to get out from under that card I didn't carry it with me, but I really wanted them to help me and I was just a few minutes from home. Put the phone on speaker on the desk and went on about my business, and just said "almost there" every now and again. Took almost half an hour for them to hang up.

 

[Synobun]

Every single time I play a Spotify radio station, it inevitably plays Raspberry Beret by Prince. Every single time, I remove Raspberry Beret by Prince from the station. And yet, every single time, it plays again.

pls stop

Also, I've run into a problem where playing my playlists distracts me from work now. I have to play music that I'm somewhat unfamiliar with... but that I can still tolerate and enjoy. 70s and 80s music seems to be the most reliable for this aim.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Rant: I keep stepping on my own feet today. It's painful.

 

[Ajidica]

Even by the standards of blood-sucking parasites, tax prep services are blood-sucking parasites.
I know I'm getting ripped off using them, but I'm willing to pay a fee to make taxes easier and faster. However, when asked how to pay for the tax service, they took it to a whole new level. There is an additional fee if I wanted to pay with my refund, and that fee was larger than my entire tax refund.

Oh, I also got $1 back thanks to the Covid19 tax rejiggering. Thanks Trump!

 

[Takhisis]

I'm willing to pay a fee to make taxes easier and faster.

Hey, if only the IRS hadn't been intentionally deprived of government funding…

 

[Zkribbler]

Rant: I keep stepping on my own feet today. It's painful.

You'd rather be stepping on other people's feet? That's heartless.

 

[Birdjaguar]

Even by the standards of blood-sucking parasites, tax prep services are blood-sucking parasites.
I know I'm getting ripped off using them, but I'm willing to pay a fee to make taxes easier and faster. However, when asked how to pay for the tax service, they took it to a whole new level. There is an additional fee if I wanted to pay with my refund, and that fee was larger than my entire tax refund.

Oh, I also got $1 back thanks to the Covid19 tax rejiggering. Thanks Trump!

Turbo tax deluxe is $50 and includes free federal electronic filing. I've been using it for over a decade, probably 2. It is a very well designed program.

 

[Ajidica]

Hey, if only the IRS hadn't been intentionally deprived of government funding…

What makes the whole thing even more annoying is that the federal and state governments know how much I make and I'm taking the standard deducation, so in theory all they need to do is send me a postcard saying "This is how much you owe".

Turbo tax deluxe is $50 and includes free federal electronic filing. I've been using it for over a decade, probably 2. It is a very well designed program.

I went with H&R Block. That's what my dad used when he helped with back when I first did taxes, and I've stuck with them since my past years are already imported in there. Plus, if I remember ProPublica's reporting right, H&R Block wasn't quite as scummy as TurboTax was with hiding the free federal and state return for low income taxpayers.

 

[Birdjaguar]

I went with H&R Block. That's what my dad used when he helped with back when I first did taxes, and I've stuck with them since my past years are already imported in there. Plus, if I remember ProPublica's reporting right, H&R Block wasn't quite as scummy as TurboTax was with hiding the free federal and state return for low income taxpayers.

Hmm...I've never found the the free federal filing was at all hidden. Maybe because I've used deluxe and not regular.

In any case I like it a lot. How much does H&R block cost?

 

[Takhisis]

You'd rather be stepping on other people's feet? That's heartless.

Maybe she'd rather other people stepped on her feet for her?

What makes the whole thing even more annoying is that the federal and state governments know how much I make and I'm taking the standard deducation, so in theory all they need to do is send me a postcard saying "This is how much you owe".

Why have the government do it for virtually no cost when you can have it done by private individuals and make a lot of parasites a load of money?

 

[amadeus]

Even by the standards of blood-sucking parasites, tax prep services are blood-sucking parasites.

As an overseas resident of nearly a decade, I still have to file American federal income tax forms. It’s a rather “simple” process, but you have to read through everything before you put ink on paper because one mistake and I’m back printing off the forms again.

Another thing is that my income, all from work here in Japan, is lower than the threshold for being obligated to pay (something upwards of $100,000?) so basically my reported taxable income ends up being zero.

I pay taxes here in Japan, I figure about 25% for everything including pension and health insurance. But the key is that it’s all done on the company’s side and I don’t need to file an income tax return. I used to get city taxes—the city would calculate the bill based on my income, but even that’s being taken direct from my salary now.

Side rant: I’m the only one making flags for my thread! I thought it would be fun to see everyone’s creations. I’m still going to make some when I get some ideas, but I value quality over quantity.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

As an overseas resident of nearly a decade, I still have to file American federal income tax forms. It’s a rather “simple” process, but you have to read through everything before you put ink on paper because one mistake and I’m back printing off the forms again.

Another thing is that my income, all from work here in Japan, is lower than the threshold for being obligated to pay (something upwards of $100,000?) so basically my reported taxable income ends up being zero.

I pay taxes here in Japan, I figure about 25% for everything including pension and health insurance. But the key is that it’s all done on the company’s side and I don’t need to file an income tax return. I used to get city taxes—the city would calculate the bill based on my income, but even that’s being taken direct from my salary now.

Side rant: I’m the only one making flags for my thread! I thought it would be fun to see everyone’s creations. I’m still going to make some when I get some ideas, but I value quality over quantity.

What happens if you just don't file? They can't get you for tax avoidance if you keep the records to demonstrate that you wouldn't have had to pay anyway, AFAIK.

 

[amadeus]

What happens if you just don't file? They can't get you for tax avoidance if you keep the records to demonstrate that you wouldn't have had to pay anyway, AFAIK.

I don’t know what happens, but my time isn’t so valuable that I can’t spare 2-3 hours per year staying in compliance with federal tax law.

I just wish they would make the process simpler for filers like me with modest incomes earned overseas.

 

[r16]

oh , my fast fingers pressed on a box in the poll while going around , ı have issues with the thread name and anything !

stupid me and damned tablet , ı am sure ı wrote have NO issues !