Random Rants XLIV: I Can't Find The Answer

[Takhisis]

 

[classical_hero]

Not everyone is a horndog looking for an easy lay. Some people, myself included, are just hopeless.

FTFY.

 

[JohannaK]

You're evil, The_J, you're killing my hopes.

 

[Peck of Arabia]

Something really odd happened yesterday:

I've been spending some of my ample free time playing around with vlogging and I made one about a ridiculous news report I saw a few months back in which BBC Chief Economics editor Hugh Pym explained (poorly and with much unnecessarily speculation) the falling rate of inflation.

Nobody watches watches my videos, and rightly so because they're rubbish. Apart from, apparently Susan Pym, Hugh Pym's wife who commented on this one saying:

I have no idea what you are saying. Maybe you should try elocution lessons. The in depth coverage can be found on Newsnight etc. Instead of nearly 14 minutes of ranting why not try editing a 2 minute piece which can be aired on national news bulletins.

Most bizzare.

 

[The_J]

Is that really a rant o_O?
Sounds like good advice...somehow.

You're evil, The_J, you're killing my hopes.

Oh, why that?
It's not so that I'm 95, that I've actually tried to, or that I have tons of women around me every day, so that's absolutely no indicator for anything.

 

[JohannaK]

That is irrelevant.

 

[Skwink]

Me: Sweet I get a two hour late start tomorrow because I already passed my tests!

ASB Advisor: I'm gonna need the people who are planning the MLK/Diversity Day assembly to come in on time so we can talk about the plan for it. You're in it aren't you Fitz?

Me: *sighs* Yeah...

God damn it I was looking forward to sleeping in so much. There's probably only going to be one other person there, and I'm barely involved in this.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

FTFY.

QFT.

 

[Borachio]

Handsome is as handsome does.

 

[Tee Kay]

So, do we look to love someone or do we look to be loved?

I'm not sure.

Where was I reading just recently, that shy people really have very high self-esteem? Because they think it is such a tremendous blow to be rejected, they dare not risk it happening. Whereas someone with truly low self-esteem can see that it is of no consequence at all. Or something like that, anyway.

That's some rather messed up logic right there.

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

I think Borachio's logic has merit and the cartoon clearly illustrates why.

 

[Tee Kay]

I think we may be using differing definitions of "self-esteem".

Someone who is vain or selfish does not necessarily has high self-esteem, for instance.

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

I think we may be using differing definitions of "self-esteem".

Someone who is vain or selfish does not necessarily has high self-esteem, for instance.

Oh yeah you're right, I assumed Borachio's quote as referring to vanity, but yeah it says self esteem and is nonsense if that term is used.

 

[Kennigit]

while we're on the subject of relationships, I'm particularly just not cut out for good 1:1 conversations (male friends or female, and I am heterosexual for romantic interest). I just don't have anything to say.

Today I had the actual opportunity to try to talk to a girl! (imagine that!) at the running club I infrequently go to. Not only did >1 or 2 women show up for once, but said girl came up to me! and tried to talk a little bit since it was the time that people show up at and only a few people were there at that moment (and she was just showing up for first times to the club). And I just had nothing to say.

I know it's quite sad, but it's been a long time since I talked to a girl outside of a class (which is ~10-20% women depending on the course). I could have had an *actual normal* happenstance encounter with someone--not through the like 2-5 girls that inhabit classes or a mutual friends or something--and I just completely don't socially function. I just monotonously say "yeah" "yup" "my name is [Kennigit], nice to meet you" etc etc; can't have a conversation.

which actually I quite like being alone most of the time/having a very small circle of friends, but I am alas cursed having been able to be fall romantically in love with someone but show myself to have the personality of a rock. Which incidentally rock related, I've accidentally kicked rocks into girl's legs before

related note, ~1 hour after that encounter I have to curse biology for not evolving out male nipples. "Fissure of the nipple" aka nipple chafing really can hurt. Infrequent running already is tiring enough, why add extra pain?

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Not having anything to talk about shouldn't ever be a problem. Talk about the weather, talk about her shoes, talk about the class you are in. Pick something and run with it. You have things to say, IMO you are mind-blocking yourself.


Yes, definately talk about her clothes, but don't be a creep. For instance, 'oh that feather in your hair is cute*, is that a trend now?' or 'is that a goochi purse?' or things along these lines are great conversation starters. You're showing interest in her by talking about her stuff and giving her an excuse to talk about herself.

Saying something like 'it must be cold, I can see your nipples' or 'those sweatpants are kind of ratty, is this the bad week?' are examples of doing it wrong in the creepiest way possible.

*This is an acceptable way to sneak a word like cute into the conversation. Much like talking about her clothes show interest in her, using the word cute or pretty to describe something she owns is a great tip-off to her that you may have thoughts about her along those lines without being too direct. This way, you can have a normal conversation without an awkward moment if she doesn't feel inclined to accept any advances because you didn't actually make an advance.

 

[Arakhor]

Saying something like 'it must be cold, I can see your nipples' or 'those sweatpants are kind of ratty, is this the bad week?' are examples of doing it wrong in the creepiest way possible.

I can make no response other than giggling manically.

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

Hobbs makes a very important point. The number one thing I've learnt from selling cars is that there really isn't anything you can say to actually sell something (in this case yourself). All you can do is ask the right questions to lead someone in a certain direction so that they come to the conclusion you wish them to by themselves.

Ask smart questions, they give smart answers, they feel empowered by their new found intelligence and will love for you for it.

Pander to and answer their dumb questions, have a dumb conversation, they'll feel stupid and blame you for it.

 

[choxorn]

But you've had relationships. That's what I'm complaining about, having had none, nor prospects of having one. I want to know what love is like.

This,

I don't know, for me the cartoon kind of has a point- I can see the how out and out rejection would be pretty unpleasant socially and emotionally. I'm pretty risk averse in that respect and most times I decide not to risk it.

This,

while we're on the subject of relationships, I'm particularly just not cut out for good 1:1 conversations (male friends or female, and I am heterosexual for romantic interest). I just don't have anything to say.

Today I had the actual opportunity to try to talk to a girl! (imagine that!) at the running club I infrequently go to. Not only did >1 or 2 women show up for once, but said girl came up to me! and tried to talk a little bit since it was the time that people show up at and only a few people were there at that moment (and she was just showing up for first times to the club). And I just had nothing to say.

I know it's quite sad, but it's been a long time since I talked to a girl outside of a class (which is ~10-20% women depending on the course). I could have had an *actual normal* happenstance encounter with someone--not through the like 2-5 girls that inhabit classes or a mutual friends or something--and I just completely don't socially function. I just monotonously say "yeah" "yup" "my name is [Kennigit], nice to meet you" etc etc; can't have a conversation.

And all of this.

At least virginty can be "cured", CivGeneral, with ten bottles of brandy at a cheap bar. Getting married tends to be a lot more expensive.

I lol'ed.

On another note, my dorm is too damn cold right now.

 

[Takhisis]

Pander to and answer their dumb questions, have a dumb conversation, they'll feel stupid and blame you for it.

And buy a car!

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

And buy a car!

Au contraire, definitely not buy a car. I'm not near good enough to sell a car to someone who blames me for making them feel like an idiot.